


The question of guilt

by Black_Naila



Series: The question of.. [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Bathtub Sex, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Come Swallowing, Crying, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Doggy Style, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Handcuffs, Happy Ending, Love, Love Hotels, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Meeting the Parents, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, drunkensex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:07:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 80,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22373074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Naila/pseuds/Black_Naila
Summary: It's a story, like so many stories in your life – thoughtless.Since you are not particularly good at making new friends, you have no other choice than to rely on your friendly smile and your ability to read people well.It works quite well too. At university you made friends with a group of girls, which includes Yuri, who is very interested in your life and really tries to integrate you into social life.But at a Houseparty you get to know someone new.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Reader
Series: The question of.. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778692
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

It's a story, like so many stories in your life – thoughtless.  
Admittedly, it was your decision to spend a semester abroad in Japan.  
You are good at learning languages - thats true.  
In your planning, you somehow neglected the fact that there is an early time when you only knew a little Japanese.  
You also ignored that English doesn't always help you in Japan.

Since you are not particularly good at making new friends, you have no other choice than to rely on your friendly smile and your ability to read people well.  
It works quite well too. At university you made friends with a group of girls, which includes Yuri, who is very interested in your life and really tries to integrate you into social life.

" A party? At someone's home? ”You raise an eyebrow doubtfully.  
"Yes" joyfully Yuri clapps hands. "You absolutely have to meet new people and a little fun won't hurt you. I only see you studying or working "  
Since she is right, because of your own claims to want to live in your own apartment, you also have to finance it. So you go to the university to study. Or making music in the streets or wait for tuition to earn money.  
"You are right" you agree. "Do you pick me up?"

There are you now: sitting in your bathtub and imagining the evening.  
Maybe you will find someone who wants to spend the night with you, someone who touches you like nobody has done it for a long time, who kisses you and gives you a little bit of security before he pulles up his pants again and goes home.  
Your loud laugh sounded the bathroom and you dip your head under water.  
"Nonsense" You think.  
In the End its going to be like that: the conversations you will have, quickly reached the limit of your language skills and you stand there smiling silly.  
And you will drink a lot of beer. At least that sounds like a good plan.

You choose a dark, purple silk top and a black imitation leather skirt and glitter pumps. You think that if you dress “hot” in your opinion, you can cover up your ailing self-confidence a little. You look in the mirror and straighten your curls which fall over your shoulders. At the same time, the doorbell rings and Yuri is grinning at your door.  
"Ready?" She asks while looking at herself in the mirror again. "Just a moment" you say and come out of the kitchen with two cans of beer and hand one to Yuri.  
"Seriously?" She asked hesitantly. "Don't ask, just do it."

Loud music, lots of people and alcohol, at least there's no big difference from student parties as you know them. "I hate people" you whisper to Yuri as you find your way through the people to a group of girls you know from university.  
A lot of people are introduced to you and you have a little conversation here and there. You do this as always when you feel insecure, friendly laughing and funny. And that's how people like you.  
"Look, there is Miya Astumu" beamed Yuri and finally you have a face to the many stories Yuri told you about him. She has been in love with him for such a long time, but does not dare to tell him.

To you he looks like someone who knows exactly what he wants. Like someone who covers his feelings with his friendly grin. He practically entertains the whole room and all the attention of the people is with him.  
"Looks nice" you answer Yuri kindly.  
"....- chan, he's incredibly hot and if he wants he can do the dirtiest things with me tonight without asking much"  
You laugh politely and take the beer from Yuri without comment to give her a glas of water.

"You should maybe talk with the captain of the baseball team. He has been sneaking around you for weeks and has been watching you since we got here and I think he has a big problem speaking to you".  
The beer makes your tongue honest.  
Yuri follows your gaze and sees the tall man who dodges her gaze and shyly looks into his glas .  
"Maybe you should say hello there before we think of other dirty things later," you say to Yuri as you push her towards the dark-haired man.  
"Hey this is my friend Yuri, she is very interested in baseball you both should talk about it," You say and leave the situation without another word.

Satisfied, you go to the bar and have another beer and drop yourself on a couch.  
„Wingmen“, maybe you should do that more often. If you can't do it for yourself, maybe for others.  
"Where are you from?" A deep voice that you place on the other side of the sofa calls for your attention.  
"Miya Atsumu" is your first thought, but no, his ridiculously blonde colored hair is gray in this case.  
"The Miya twins" you literally shout out your knowledge and reap a slightly mistaken look.  
"Sorry" you apologize "I was just thinking a little too loud". You notice how you blush a little and that annoys you. On the other hand, he kept his somewhat expressionless gaze on you.  
You clear your throat "I live in the city nearby" you answer the question with a warm smile. "I'm going to university here for a year. And you? ”It is better for you to steer the topic away from you, to talk about yourself has never been one of your strengths.

"I am Miya Osamu and I study business here in the city, but I have never seen you before," he explains.  
You smile. „This is surprising, I actually stand out everywhere“ . By the way your English is very good."  
Now he smiles sheepishly. "I am interested in languages. ”  
And so you get into conversation and you learn that he likes to eat rice, played volleyball on high school and that you both have a penchant for good beer, and you both pursue this passion. When he comes back with two full glasses, he drops down next to you.

"I'm not good at it," you say with a drunken smile.  
"In what?" He returns and touches your thigh with his knee.  
"Flirting," you admit.  
He smiles and it looks amazing. "Oh, I thought you mean the fact that you generally don't like to talk about yourself," he replies.  
You look embarrassed at your hands. It's hard to deal with the feeling of being seen through.  
"Don't worry," he says, lightly stroking your hands. "I still like talking to you and I usually don't like talking to people," he says with a smile.  
The situation makes you shiver, less with cold than a mix of excitement and respect for the situation.

"Are you freezing?" Osamu asks almost worried and reaches behind him to grab a blanket, which he throws over both of you. You look him in the eye and notice the wonderful coloring, the desire to kiss him comes up in you. But then you remember again that there are about 30 other people in this room and instead put your Glass to your mouth.  
But you grab his hand and put it on your thigh.  
"Even though you are twins, you are very different from your brother"  
Osamu's hand wanders up and down your thigh. "Yes, he is the eternally laughing sunshine to which hearts are flying" Osamu replies a little sadly.  
You run your fingers through his gray-colored hair. You almost feel pity and your drunk head cannot prevent the follwing.  
"I've always preferred the moonlight". With these words, you open your thighs, so that he can rub his hand under your skirt. "God, girl what are you doing here with me?" He almost gasps. You grin at him. "At the moment we are talking, drinking beer, having a good time together and if you push my panties aside we have a little fun too?"

"I haven't even kissed you," he says a little confused. "I'm not good at being kissed." You admit quietly. "If I'm too direct, just tell me and we'll keep talking about your family." You are so excited that you can hardly hide it in your voice.  
"No, you're just so different from the girls I know" as he says that, he pushes the fabric of your panties aside and you notice how his fingers touch your clit. You sit back and close your eyes. When you open it again you see Yuri laughing leaning against the baseball captain, making sure that her bottom touches the right places of his body. "Good girl" you think. As your thoughts land between your legs again. Osamu's touch is gentle and slow. He runs around your clitoris in small circles. His eyes are focused and full of excitement.

You lightly touch his shoulder, "Hey, I'm telling you a secret about me. I'm not good at having orgasms. So this is not the goal here. The goal is to have a good time. And believe me, the things you are doing downsouth feel really good “you breathe in his ear. He is about to say something when a hand claps his shoulder. "Samu, what's up? Who is your new girlfriend?" You look into Atsumu's face with the smug grin. At the same time Osamus pressure between your legs is getting harder and you feel how you get wet.

"Im Atsumu" the boy who has disturbed the situation wants to shake your hand and you are forced to pull your hand out from under the blanket, carefully so that it does not slip.  
"I remember you," he continues. "I saw you make music before the Supermarket“ , you are good at it," continues Atsumu.  
The movements between your legs stop shortly before Osamu pushes his fingers further towards your entrance. He circles your entrance and shoves his middle finger into it. You can literally notice how he pushes your wetness out.  
You inhale sharply as you say “thank you” to Atsumu.  
Osamu begins to move his fingers slowly in and out your hole.  
"Tsumu, what do you want here? Is the show over? Then take a girl now and go home, I won't disturb you. ”Osamu seems rather annoyed by the fact that he has his brother in the situation. The way he brings the words to him triggers a feeling in you that makes you sad. It doesn't always have to be easy to have such a bright shinning brother.  
You take your hand back under the covers and stroke the crotch of his jeans. He is rock hard. And pushes his fingers as deep as he can into your entrance when you touch him.Slowly you get to avoid moaning problems.  
"My my my why so aggressive Samu Samu? I just wanted to tell your girlfriend what a talented singer she is, that's all. As far as everything else is concerned, I would be glad if you give me two to three hours. ”Atsumu looks over at a girl in a very short skirt. You wrinkle your nose, you can see that there is not much about her apart from beauty. "No problem," says Osamu, annoyed. And with that, Astumu goes to his acquaintance.  
Osamu looks back at you. "Sorry" he says and smiles. "He's actually a nice guy, but sometimes he is a bit much."

"Don't apologize, so I heard you are free for the next hours?" you say lovingly and for a short moment you forget all your fears and grin at him. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how probable is it ,that you put a pillow on my face after sex?"  
Osamu has to laugh out loud the first time this evening. "You can be sure you don't have to be afraid of it, I love having sex the morning after"  
"Ah" you grimace . "Another peculiarity about me: I am not good at having overnight guests, but in the next 2-3 hours you won't be able to go anyway," you say with a smile and move lightly on his fingers. You breathe hard. He laughs and pulls his fingers out of you.  
"So , Lovehotel?" He asks and strokes your hair.  
"If we're not too loud, I'll take you to my bed."  
Osamu grins.

You quickly say goodbye to Yuri and Osamu from his friends. You meet again at the front door. He looks happy and there is a feeling in your stomach that it is right to take him home. He walks a few steps next to you and then he pushes you against a tree, the bark hurts through the thin fabric on your back. Osamu looks you in the eye: "You are so smart and funny and a real beauty, god I want to fuck you so badly" You grin and pull him down to you and just before your lips touch you whisper: "I think we are going to have a lot of fun." And you let him kiss you, something you haven't done in a long time. He tasted of beer and your juice, which shows you that he sucked his fingers. It makes you grin.

On the way to your apartment you go hand in hand, it is so familiar.  
"I actually don't have one night stands," he suddenly says out of the silence. "I take the girls out to dinner and get to know them and sleep with them when I think it's right."  
"I'm sorry because I put you in this situation," you say with guilt in your voice. "We don't have to do anything, I also like talking to you," you tell him, although your vagina says otherwise.  
He takes you by the hips and looks straight in your eyes.  
"I'm so horny for you, it feels really good to go with you, you are just so different from all the other girls I know".  
"I'm a kind broken, but that's a different story" you try to smile. You take him by the hand and introduce him to the front door.  
"So.... now... help me out of clothes"

As soon as the front door is closed behind you, you feel his hands all over your body, he pushes them under the silk of your top and your bra. He squeezes your breasts while kissing your neck. You groan under his touch, turn around and let him lift you up.

"Bed is straight ahead" you mumble against his lips as you press your legs around his waist. While he carries you to the bed you feel through the fabric of your panties how hard his cock is. He puts you on the mattress and pulls your top over your head. He kisses the way up to your breasts and stops.  
"A tattoo?" Osamu breathes heavily as he asks. "Later" you answer and pull his shirt over his head, stand up and pull on his belt.  
"Greedy" grins Osamu. While he uses the chance to open your bra. 

You notice how the desire for this man drives you crazy. How wet your pussy is, how much you want it all.  
You pull your skirt down along with your panties while he does this with his pants.  
He crawls over you and you are ablte to see how hard his cock is in his boxers.  
He kisses you on the lips, goes over your chin, down your neck to your breasts, licks your nipples and kisses them.  
You gasp and bend your back "bite into it" you beg. And you notice how he takes your nipples between his teeth and pulls them lightly. Your moan is deep and honest. His fingers wander back down to your clit and touches you. You stretch out your pelvis and look for his eyes.

You put your arms over his shoulders, put his lips on yours and put your hand in his boxers.. When you touches his cock, he draws the air between his teeth. You start pumping him. "Fuck" he hisses. “We already had the thing with kissing and fingers.“ You are telling him with an evil grin on your face. „I want you to fuck me now. Hard and in the way you want it. If I don't like something , I'll let you know.“ ”With these words you pull his shorts off. And you see him in all its glory. "Osamu, please fuck me" you beg with a greedy look in his eyes.  
For a moment, Osamu seems to be considering what to do now. He breathes slowly and then looks in your face.

"Condom?" Is the only word he brings out.  
Of course! You put your hands over your face and laugh.  
"Damn, I wanted to be so damn sexy with my speech" You roll on your stomach to look for a condom in the nightstand. As you do this, you notice that Osamu's fingers tracing your tattoo below your left breast.

"You're damn sexy, I have no words," Osamu says seriously. You smile, hand him a condom and watch him put it on. How he rubs his cock and pulls it over. This sight is incredibly sexy.  
"Lie on your back," he says when he's done and you follow the prompt.  
You spread your legs and notice how he plays with the tip at your entrance. "You are so wet" Now he is the one with the greedy smile.  
"Because of you" he kisses you and your tongues surround each other. His hands are still on your titts again.  
"Ready?" He asks as he positions himself. "Definitely" you gasp.  
Osmau is slowly starting to let his cock slide into your entrace. "Oh god, you are so damn tight" he growns.  
Slowly he starts to build up a rhythm and you notice how he penetrates you deeper with every push. Every time he pushes himself into you, his lips look for yours until his rhythm gets so fast that you both can only gasp. Osamu lays his head on your shoulder and you spread your legs further to the right and left of him and run your fingers through his sweaty hair.  
You feel so light and incredibly wanted. Yes, you could even say that you are happy. You want more, you want to give him everything.

"Take my legs over your shoulders" you ask him. Osamu presses your knees up to your head and continues with his quick thrusts.  
"Shit you're just so deep inside of me" you gasp. "Go ahead, push harder ... you're ... so ... damn ... deep" you beg at him.  
He starts to bump you so hard and with such intensity that an excruciating pain goes through your body.  
Occasionally your lips meet for a quick kiss. His cock touches points in you that nobody has touched for a long time. "Osamu, what are you doing to me?" you arewhispering as he presses his forehead against yours and is still slowly moving within you "  
He grins ashamed. „I wont last long if we keep going like this. And I don't want it to end yet.“  
But still he slowly increases his pace again. You moan out of the fakt that he cant stop fucking you.

"Fuck, you feel so good, please get on your knees for me," he gasps in ecstasy.  
Doggystyle - a position you don't prefer.  
But you told him to say what he wants, so you kneel down on your bed on all fours. Osamu kneels behind you. Before he goes back to your pussy, he starts kissing your spine up to your neck. You feel his hard breath on your ear "Hey, look at me" he whispers.  
He is almost under your chin and pulls you towards him for a kiss while he pushes his cock back into your pussy.

It doesn't take long for your hands to hold on to the sheets and you have to stop a yell. His hands dig into your hips. And you notice and hear his balls beating against your ass. You make your pussy as tight as possible and reap a moan in response. You take a pillow and press it in front of your mouth as he starts circling your clitoris with one hand.  
Suddenly you notice how he pulls you up and hugs you from behind. One hand on your tits and the other on your pussy. "I can't hold it anymore, you are so hot, I want to feel you when I´m coming," he moans in your ear. You notice how his bumps slow down and become much harder.

His whole body trembles as he cums into the condom with a loud groan. And you regret that you don't feel his sperm inside you. When you kneel in front of him breathing heavily and he is still holding you in his arms and comes down from his height struggling for breath. "You feel so good, your hair smells so good, you are so beautiful." Still of his High Osamu whispers these sweet nothings into your hair. He slowly pulls out of you and gets rid of the condom. "That was a lot," he whispers more to himself than to you.

You have to grin and let yourself fall into the pillows. "Sorry," he says with a grin and let himself fall next to you.  
Silence.  
"Did you...?"  
… .Come? “You end his question. "No" you say and take his hand.  
"Maybe I should eat you out ?“  
You smile and stroke his hand, bring it to your lips and kiss it.  
"I just had great sex" you smile at him gratefully.  
In his eyes you can see that the answer does not satisfy him. You take a deep breath.  
„I had already told you before that it was not so easy for me to have orgasms. I can make them myself, but somehow it doesn't work if others want to make it ”. You laugh bittersweet.  
"I'm kind of broken" with these words, tears come to your eyes that you try to hide.

Now it is Osamu who takes your hand and leaves a kiss on it.  
"You are not broken, you are different. I often feel different too. I feel very comfortable spending time with you. „Today I did things that I had never done before. I had your pussy in my hand when I talked to my brother.” Thinking of this Situation makes him laugh . "When I'm lying next to you here, I want to ask you a lot of questions and hug you. You make it so easy for me to talk to you. It's a nice feeling. ”He leans over to you to kiss your lips. Then he gets up and starts looking for his clothes.  
"What are you doing?" You ask a little panicked.  
"You said overnight guests are not your thing.“ He says with a smile.  
Sadness spreads in your chest.  
"And you said you like morning sex." You says without thinking. Osamu have to grin.  
"Please stay," you say quietly.  
Maybe it's alcohol, maybe something else, but you don't want him to leave now. So he just puts on his boxer shorts and waits until you get back out of the bathroom.  
When you come back he is sitting on the bedside with his smartphone.  
„ Mh, does your girlfriend miss you already ?“ you ask maybe a little bit to seriouse.  
„ Just my brother, who told me that Im allowed to come home earlier,“ he announces with roll of his eyes.  
„You have a girlfriend?“ you starre at him.  
„ Of course not! I coudnt do such things with you if I had one.“ he says placatory.  
Your heart beats fast but you laugh in a forgiving manner. „Hey, we're strangers.“ you say as you lay yourself under the covers.  
„So tell me something personal, like whats youre favorite colour?“  
You laugh out load. „Well thats not that personal ...its dark purple. How about you?“  
„ Green, thanks for your trust.“ he says half assleep.  
„ Thank you for tonight, I laugh so much,that felt so good.“

But you just get a sound as response. 

And youre just hoping that your trust wasnt wrong and the man who holds you so close wont hurt.


	2. Chapter 2

The sunlight floods your bedroom and you can hear the birds singing.  
The morning seems so beautiful, but the pain in your head overshadows the beautiful scenario.  
How much beer did you drink last night? Even if you think carefully, you can't remember.  
And to make matters worse, in a hint of drunk feelings you asked a man to stay over night. The night was short and you were awake early. You turn your head to look at the beautiful guy next to you. His eyes are still closed, his gray-colored hair falls slightly over his forehead. His face looks peaceful. And unexcited as you got to know him.  
You think about the evening, looking back you were pretty drunk. But you remember that Osamu and you laughed a lot. His otherwise emotionless face sometimes even beamed. And you loved it.

And the sex! You two had insane sex. As he came, he wanted you to be close to him.  
You have to smile happily.  
And now he's sleeping next to you and you're staring at him. He was on his way home, yesterday, you could have your rest  
\- but NO you seriousely need to ask him to stay. You could be alone in your bed and be happy.  
Now you have to talk to him, embarrassing Small Talk and in the back of your heads everyone thinks of how the otherone gasped the name during sex.   
And he fingered you at a party because you said so.  
You groan and pull the covers over your head and the usual feeling of being guilty sprouts in you. "Fuck" you murmur to yourself.  
When you come out of the dark of your blanket, the sleepy eyes of Osamus are waiting for you.  
"Good morning," he murmurs and stretches. "How are you? Slept well?"  
You put your arm around his waist, but immediately pull it away  
Instead, you decide to put on your polite smile and answer.  
" Headache! How much beer did we actually drink? "  
"Enough" he says and rubs his eyes. Then he puts his arm around you and your head lies on his shoulder. You notice how your muscles contract.  
As soon as he starts rubbing your arm you relax again. You can hear his heart beating calmly. And his deep laugh "What an evening! I never thought I could do that! It's a lot more a „Tsumu thing ”“  
You can't change it, but these words hurting you. You sit up and press the bed cover against your bare breasts. But your headache forces you back on his shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks with a little concern in his voice.  
"I'm sorry if I brought you into trouble, maybe I should have taken your brother home with me," you say. You realize that you will cry soon. "Sometimes I don't think enough about what I do with other people."  
And there they are - tears that roll down your cheeks.

Osamu looks at you with an expressionless face. Then he presses you to his chest.  
"Why are you crying? Because I'm celebrating myself that I've done something out of my comfort zone? ”He wipes up the tears that run down your face.  
"I had so much fun and I'm happy that I was allowed to wake up next to you." He says while holding you tight that you can smell his body. He buries his nose in your hair and runs his hands over your bare back. You take a deep sight „ Sorry for acting weird, sometimes Im too sensitive and emotional“.  
You turn him on his back and crawl on his stomach and let him hug you.  
"Are you okay?" You ask after a while. He looks you in the eye and grins.  
"I have a beautiful, naked woman laying on my stomach, the sun is shining, birds are singing ... and I have a terrible headache," he laughs.

You laugh embarrassed. "Unfortunately, I have no idea how to behave now"  
He laughs out loud. "You are so cute, you should behave normally"  
You have to laugh at yourself . "Sorry it's been a while since ….."  
"...... you had someone overnight at your place" he ends your sentence.  
For a moment you are unsure what to say now.   
You feel good, he won't hurt you, so you choose to tell the truth.  
"No, that I had Sex with someone," you admit, blushing slightly.  
He grimaces and seems to be thinking, letting his hands run over your back again and again.  
"Would you tell me how long ago?"  
You exhale "1.5 years".  
And from the corner of your eye you see how he raises his eyebrows in surprise.  
"Sorry, I don't want to be curious. But are the boys in your Homecountry all deaf and blind? "  
You laugh bitterly.  
You don't want to tell a more or less stranger the ups and downs of your life.   
All of your bad habits:  
You are not able trust anyone,  
don't like situations that you are not able to control, and of course the highlightstory „Why your heart is a lump of ice“,  
you better save it until you both sharing a beer together.  
„I am sure that´s not the reason, Im not joking when Im telling you, that Im kind of broken. Ive a problem with trust.“ You take his hand in yours.   
„I am totally amazed that I kissed you. Usually I dont do such kind of things with strangers.“ You have to smile at the thought of it.  
Osamu squeezes your hand „ Did you enjoy it?“  
"I was drunk, but I think so," you answer and decides to change the topic as quickly as possible.  
You put on your brightest smile and go so close to his face that your noses almost touch. 

" Buut noow.... It's your turn,  
when was the last time you made a woman as happy as me?"  
Osamu smiles, but then frowns.  
You feel like you stuck into a wasp's nest .   
The curiosity that awakens in you makes you happy, you haven't been interested in a person for a long time.  
"3 months, but I doubt she was so happy," he says quietly.  
You also take his other hand and put your head close to his neck. „ Thats not that long ago“ you whisper against his skin.  
"It was with my ex-girlfriend, we broke up 6 months ago"You hear the sadness in his words and his chest lifts heavily.  
Just thinking of it lets every muscle contracts in you, but you also know that you have to ask this question.  
"You still have feelings for her, don't you?"  
Osamu looks at the ceiling and seems to be thinking.  
"Of course I have feelings, but there is no love anymore. She's been playing with my feelings for too long. Even when she left me, as soon as she called, I paid a love hotel and fucked her as she wanted to be fucked. "  
„What a stupid girl“ you mumble.

His movements stop on your back. You just lie there and try to push yourself even closer to him, you push your hands under his armpits and hold on to his shoulders. Your gaze is fixed on him.   
The desire to kiss him grows in you again.  
"Yesterday I told you several times that you are so different. It just felt so free. I didn't have to think about how it could be good now, what you're thinking now and so on.  
When you wanted something you said it or showed it to me. I really liked that ”  
You need to smile because he is interpreting one of your bad habits very positively for you.

If he were digging deeper, his opinion would not be that positive, youre quiet sure about that.  
For now, you decide to end the topic and give in to your desire .  
You sit up, through the fabric of his boxers you notice his cock on your ass.  
The blanket you lay around your upper body. At his questioning look, you smile shyly, "I'm not good at being naked.“  
„May I ask you something?“ You continue.   
„umm, can you kiss me again? ... I already know that this was just sex ... but we were sober and I cant really remember how it felt ...so please would you? "  
Oh god you sound like a little girl asking her parents for ice cream.  
Osamu has to laugh and you are sure that he´s thinking the same. He sits up and leans back against the wall.  
“Firstly, it is a shame that you not feeling good beeing naked, there is so much to discover on your body.  
And secondly...."  
He grabs your cheek and pulls you towards him.  
Osamu kisses your lips very gently. You put your hands around his neck and press your bare breasts against his torso under the covers.  
You open your mouth, he carefully pushes his tongue in. You run your hands through his hair and notice how he increases the pressure on your lips. Youre getting so fucking wet just because of kissing.  
You notice how the blanket slips down your shoulders and you sit naked on his lap. You pull away from his lips and look him in the eyes. What is this man doing with you?  
"I promised you morning sex," you whisper breathlessly.  
"You don't have to do anything you promised drunk," he whispers back his lips close to yours.  
Without another word, you reach into the bedside table and take out a condom. Youre open it with your teeth. Osamu grins at you.  
"What? I've always wanted to do something like that” you laugh and press your lips back to his. You slide back on his thighs and realize that he's already hard - because of you.   
Osamu raises an eyebrow "Already? No foreplay? "  
Your eyebrow goes up too . You guide your hand between your legs, run your finger through your slit.You reach out and run your wet fingers over his lips. He runs his tongue over it and stares at you.  
"You're unbelievable," he groans as he takes the condom out of your hand. You pull his boxers down and you start rubbing his cock slowly.  
Osamu draws in his breath and watches your hand stroking his dick. When you see the first drops of precome you stop. You run your tongue over the tip of his cock. There is incredible excitement in his eyes. If you start to suck his cock now, he wouldn´t last long.

Your lips burn with desire for his. You let go of his cock and wait until he has put on the condom carefully.  
You lead his cock to your entrance and gasp „Kiss me“. As soon as his lips touch yours you push yourself on his cock. He slides in easily. You moan in his mouth and start moving up and down slowly.  
His hands go up to your breasts and he squeezes them lightly. At the same time Osamu moves his lips down to your neck.   
You lean back and hold on his thighs, giving him a good view of your breasts  
He starts running his tongue over your nipples until they stand against him. The next thing youre feeling are teeths pulling your nipples slightly. You groan and throw your head back. You move your hips faster on his cock. He starts rubbing your clit with his thumb.  
„More“ youre moans are loud as hell. Your thinking about your poor neighbours as Osamu grabs your ass.  
He is moving you on his cock while you clap your hands against the wall behind him. You lift yourself up to give him more space.  
Your breasts are bouncing in the same way he thurts in you.  
Osamu starts moaning your name in a rough tone. „ He is close“ youre thinking.  
Without a warning, he turns you on your back and grins in your face.  
"Hey, be careful," you grin. And put your hands around his neck.  
He kisses you and runs his hand up your arm and grabs your hand.  
„You should have more sex , ”he grins against your lips. You take a deep breath.  
Then he pulls himself out of you and rubs his hair.  
"I have to work later. So breakfast? ”He asks.  
You look at him uncertainly. "But you're not done yet".  
He pulls the condom off and throws it in the trash.

The old feeling that youre not enough grows in you again.  
"Wasn't it good?" You ask, driving your hair uncertainly.  
He leans over to you and kisses the tip of your nose. " It was very good"  
"But ... you didn't come?" You say and you notice how panic arises in you.  
" You neither" says Osamu and grins.  
You notice how the situation gets out of control.  
An uneasy feeling flares up in you. All you know is that you have to be the problem.   
He has to go. Or better you.  
You put on your polite smile. Get out of bed and put on a t-shirt.  
"I'm going to the bathroom," you say to Osamu.  
When you have closed the bathroom door, you sink on the floor and all tears break out. "How could you be so stupid?" you whisper to yourself.   
You get up trembling. You have to calm down now. He is still there. You don't have the strength to hear from someone again how wrong it feels to kiss you.  
You stand in front of the mirror and support yourself at the sink. Taking deep breaths. After washing your face with cool water, youre feeling a little better.  
You are not surprised that there is a knock on the door.  
"Everything okay? Osamu asks with concern in his voice.  
"Yes" you sing to him happily "But you know girls always have to pee after sex".  
You open the door and beam at him. "The bathroom is all yours"  
He looks at you with his unimpressed face. You give him another smile "I'm making breakfast, but I'm bad at making breakfast in japanese style"

When Osamu comes into the kitchen with a fresh shower, he presses a kiss on the back of your neck. Your muscles tighten.  
"Are you a musician?" He asks. "How do you know?“ youre asking it a little bit in thoughts.  
"Astumu mentioned it yesterday and your apartment is full of instruments," explains Osamu  
You laugh. "Yes, I am " You take a short break and see his expectant look "I'm studying classical singing."  
"Pretty impressive," he says and takes a loaf of bread.  
"If you say so" you respond with a clear voice.

Breakfast is relatively distant. He asks questions and you answer them politely and with humor. So that he even has to laugh every now and then. As you listen to him, you discover how incredibly smart and thoughtful he is. He is the complete opposite of you. Organized, calm and knows what he wants. You are chaotic, loud and absolutely sensitive.

His eyes are fixed on you and you try to avoid them as much as possible.  
"You're acting weird," he says as he sets his coffee cup down.  
You smile politely, "Ive told you that I am a strange person. Besides, you only know me drunk so far, the sober „Me“ is different.“ Youre clearing your throat  
„I still have rehearsals today and go through my day ”you sincerely hope that the follow-up explanation is enough to distract from the topic.  
His look tells you that it didn't work. But he accepts it that way.  
After breakfast, Osamu silently searches for his things. He has his smartphone in his hand and looks at you uncertainly.  
"Can I get your phone number?" He finally asks. You close your eyes and take a deep breath.  
"Osamu listen, last night you said that this is a one night stand. I don't think that's a good idea to stay in contact. ”You try to hold his gaze as you speak. "I think we both had a lot of fun and we made great memories"  
You see the sadness in his eyes and it makes your heart heavy.  
"As you mean," he only says.   
He hugs you one last time. And you two smile weakly at each other.  
Then he is gone.


	3. Chapter 3

You go back to your bedroom and watch your smartphone.  
2 missed calls and 4 messages  
All of Yuri.  
"MIYA OSAMU?!?  
Is the first message and you close it right away.  
Your heart is so heavy only with the thoughts of the last hour.  
You lay on the bed, take a pillow, bury your face in it and after 2 breaths you drop it on the floor. It smells of him.  
You are wondering what went wrong.  
You felt so safe. That he likes you. That he enjoys sleeping with you, kissing you, being with you.  
And then he just stops? Something must be fundamentally wrong with you. That it happens over and over again. You scream your anger into your sheets.  
For the next few hours your lying on your bed and feeling sorry for yourself. After you have change the sheets, you sit down at the piano. Music usually calms you down. But it doesn't help as usual. Your voice keeps failing and your thoughts go through the morning over and over again.

In the afternoon the doorbell rings. In front of it stands a broad grinning Yuri.  
"Did you have to catch up some sleep?" She asks provocatively.  
"Ah she is angry that you didn't replied her" you think to yourself.  
Youre laughing politely and prepareing yourself for having an uncomfortable conversation soon.  
You ask her in and prepare a tea. After the usual small talk, you can see the excitement in her eyes.

"You had sex with Miya Osamu" she claps her hands and laughs.  
"Yes, that's true," you confirm. "And it was good," you add, hoping the information is enough.  
But not with Yuri. "What have you done? I need more information!“  
Youre so happy for her. That she can be so hyped about the fact that Osamu and you fucked.  
You grin provocatively. "A lot of dirty things and he didn't have to ask much for it"  
Yuri has to laugh but becomes more serious.“ Are you going see him again?“  
This question makes your stomach feel strange.  
"Yuri, I´m going to be here for a year. And you know my time management is a mess. I don't have any time for a relationship, ”you say firmly.  
She looks at you seriously. "I didn't speak of a relationship either"  
.You´re thinking about the smartest answer in this Situation.  
You stir in your cup "I think I would like him more than he would like me." And you fear its the truth."We had a lot of fun one night, so it's okay for me"  
"So enough of me now let's talk about you, you and what's his name?"  
With that you kicked off a volcano of information.  
In the evening as you lie in youre in bed , you are very satisfied with your Wingman qualities.

In the next few weeks, your days were mostly the same.  
-Get up,  
-University,  
-Rehearse  
-Job  
-Lying in bed in the evening and thinking through the night with Osamu over and over again

You are completely annoyed by yourself.You find your entire social environment annoying. You just wants to sit at home. But unfortunately you need money for living.  
Tonight as you come home after work, you open your mailbox and find a letter with your name in it.  
You look skeptically at the envelope and your general paranoia arises.  
When you open it, your heart beats fast.

….....

I'm sorry but I can't accept your request.  
I'm not a big speaker. I'm watching more than Im talking .  
I sat on that couch with you and I could talk . I have a desire to ask you so many questions. I told you about my ex-girlfriend, although I don't even know you and I'm not talking to anyone else about her. Then I slept with you and I felt so incredibly close to you. And after that , everything feels so different? What did I wrong?  
I´m thinking about the situation again and again and still have no answer.  
Please send me a massage: XXXXXXXXXXX  
I'm looking forward to it

Osamu

You drop your head on the table top. Fuck, that guy!.You could have written this letter. You just don't want to talk about the situation at all. You want him to hug you just for a moment to make the world a little bit better.  
What a great idea to go to Japan for a year. You huff.  
You take your smartphone out of your pocket and type in his phone number.

As you brushing your theeth in the evening, youre thinking about what is the best way to answer the letter or whether you are simply ignoring it. But you want to talk to him so badly and so you take your smartphone. Youre thinking about good words and decide to tell him what you've told him all along.

"I told you - I'm broken"

A simple, simple sentence that says it all. Your stomach is tingling as you wait for the answer.  
You don't need to wait long either.

Osamu:

„Ok. How are you ?“

"Ok" you sniff. And ask yourself again whether it was right to give him your number now. Then you think of the letter and open the messenger again 

....

I am confused . 

Osamu:

Same here. What are you doing?

That doesn't work out. You don't know where this „one - word discussion „should end. You sight and make a desicion.

…...

Staying in Bed. Wanna come over?

No, you delete the message again. That could be the wrong way.

....  
Im rehearseing ... if you don't mind me wearing my bed hairstyle, feel free to come to me so we can talk in person.

You still think it's a senseless chaos of words , but he'll understand.

Osmau:

Give me 20 minutes

After this message, you walk restlessly through your apartment. Spread lyrics and notes on the floor of your bedroom because you told him you rehearse. Think about what you offer to drink, whether you should cook something. Then you look in the mirror, no makeup, your bed hairstyle, your pajamas. But when you think about changing, the doorbell rings.

You go to the frontdoor while kneading your hands and open the door. There he is and looks gorgeous. He is wearing a black denim jacket, a dark green shirt and dark blue jeans. You still regret not changing your clothes. You also don't know what the right greeting is now.  
He enters and hugs you wordlessly. It is an intimate hug.  
When he lets you go he looks you up and down and grins. "So this is a bed hairstyle". You touch the big knot on your head from which a few of your curls fall out.  
"Yes, when I have overnight guests, I don't wear it this way." You grin sheepishly.  
You go to your kitchen table and sit down. He does the same. You look at each other faces.  
You nervously turn your teacup. But nothing happens. Osamu clears his throat.  
"... I'm just overwhelmed," he admits . "I know I wanted to see you so badly, but now that I'm here I have no words."  
"It's the same here," you admit.  
This silence and the breaks make you exhausted and even more nervous.  
You get up and take him by the hand. "Follow me, we go to a place where we are good"  
The view from Osamu is questionable. "Trust me". He takes your hand and you lead him to the bed and lie down under the blanket.  
You knock on the empty place next to you. He lies down and you turn off the light.  
You lie next to each other and hold hands.  
"So broken...," he finally says. You take a deep breath. But then the words flow out of your mouth.  
"I wasnt enough for you anymore" you say and feel the tears running down your cheeks.  
"... What?" Shocked, he tries to put his arm around you.  
"Don't hug, just hold my hand" you countine to explain "You didn't want to come or maybe you couldn't come, I dont know . But you didn't want to be close to me anymore "with your words you squeeze his hand strongly."  
You notice how Osamus strokes your thumb over and over again. He runs a hand through his hair and searches for words.  
"You want to tell me we're in this weird situation because I didn't care about my orgasm?" His voice sounds tense.  
".... Listen, I was closer to you than anyone for a long time. I kissed you like I usually kiss my girlfriends and you measure my closeness by the fact that my orgasm was not important to me? " he repeat and you fear that hes about to leave.  
You notice more and more tears run down your cheeks, you feel so naked and exposed. "I'm sorry, please don't be angry". You can no longer hold back your crying and now he is hugging you.  
"I'm not angry, at least not at you," he says, turning his face to you. Your noses almost touch. He laughs bitterly.  
"I'm angry with myself because my plan completly failed " he strokes curls from your face.  
"I didn't want to come because I wanted to show you that I don't care. That it is more important for me to kiss you and look at you, ”he says quietly.  
„Why didnt you say anything?“ he adds.  
„Because I was afraid of the answer“ you started crying again. And you hate yoursef for that.  
Osamu presses you close to his chest.  
“ 1.5 years ago I loved someone. I loved him so much, I guess more than myself. At some point we got closer and he slept with me. You sniff and your voice getting desperate.  
„After we really tried a lot he interrupted the sex. He later explained to me that it felt wrong to kiss and sleep with me.“ You grab his hand again and squeeze it.  
"The truth hurts but its just.... with his words he hit a deep wound. Im generally feeling wrong. For various reasons“ You laugh uncertainly. „This is the first time am talking about that. Usually im dealing with my feelings on my own“  
"Idiot" is all he says. "Well, if he didn't love me what should he do?" You admit.  
„Do you still love him?“ He takes a noicefully breath.  
“Don't love anymore, I sometimes miss talking to him. He thought it was possible to be friends. But I cound´t do this at that time. And nowdays he s one of the last persons I wanna be friends with ”  
„I understand“ he just says.

Silence.  
The light from the street creates a pleasant brightness.  
You put your head on his shoulder and stroke his stomach. The first time you notice the carefully trained muscles. You are considering whether you should tell more about your crazy habits.  
But you decides that that's enough. You don't know the man and youre telling him more about yourself than your friends back home.  
You notice how the panic rises again. The panic that´ve told to much. Your head is just starting to spin again when he breaks the silence.

"I missed you," he says with a sigh. "I know how strange that sounds, after all we don't know each other, but I missed you."  
It's a strange feeling when someone else can name the feelings that keep you busy for such a long time.  
"I think Ive missed you too" you admit. Osamu laughs „I was going crazy. I think all my friends got annoyed with my bad mood. This morning my brother told me to wirte a letter otherwise he would knock an your door and talk to you“  
You sight and laugh at the same time. „I would have died“ you admit. Osamu rubs your arm „ See, I care for you, thats why I wrote a letter“  
„ Im so thankful you did“ Osamu is getting seriouse again.  
"I should have explained my behavior to you."  
"I'm pretty broken about human relationships, so I'm bad at talking about myself," you say quietly. "Or to trust someone" He interrups you.  
"Just tell me if you want to tell me something. I won't push you. Are you promising me something? ”His voice sounds soft, more positive than 2 minutes ago.  
"It depends on what" you admit honestly.  
You hear him smile and he adds, "Ask if you don't understand something I do or say. The last thing I want right now is to hurting you. "  
"I'm trying." You stroke his face. "But I honestly don't understand your action ," you grin. Osamu looks at you questioningly and you add, "If I can come during sex, then I come." Osamu laughs and hugs you.  
„Oh trust me, coming while fucking you is amazing.“ He seems to be shocked by his words. Now its your turn to laugh „ You are so cute. But I can tell you the way you came was incredible hot. I usually dont like doggystyle and had some doubts as you ask for it. But in the End, when you hugged me that way. And feeling you tremble against my back. Damn that was so so hot“  
You got the feeling that Osamu is a little bit ashamed. God, the hunger to kiss him rises again.  
„ Can I ask you something personal?“  
You snorts. „More personal? Sure of course“  
"Do you know the reason?" Osamu looks for your look. „ Why you are not able to have one?“  
"An orgasmn?“ you ask .“ I think a lot of women are in the same situation. But in my case its the fact that I can't really relax, my head is working all the time" you sigh. "But that's just my theory, I'm not good at having oral sex either." Osamu sits up and looks at your face with a frown.  
You notice how you blush, it's uncomfortable to talk about it. Still you add.  
"I cant relax in that situation, that someone has his head between my legs and I just lie there and do nothing. And No! It is not relaxing to sit at someones face“  
He hugs you with both arms and laughs. „ You are really a strange girl. But dont get me wrong, I really like that. You are thinking so much, maybe to much.“  
You notice how the position is slowly becoming uncomfortable and raise your head and grimace. "From my point of view, the whole thing with being me is pretty exhausting."  
He laughs.  
The lights of a car lighten the room. You are able to see his face. His facial features lying still and his eyes are looking at the ceiling. You put your arm around his stomach and press him closer to you.

"How are you doing, now?" He asks after a while. " I dont know. It makes me a little nervous to tell something about me. And how are you?“  
"I'm so proud of you and Im feeling much better than earlier today" You notice how he wants to kiss you on the top of your head. But he doesnt.  
"I'm bad at talking about feelings," he says instead. "I just accept a lot without questioning. I think the situation with you, was the first time that feelings affected my life. The situation just didn't make sense, but I understand it now.  
You and I are so different. Nevertheless, lying here with your sleep hairstyle on my face, just feels right. "  
"No further words are necessary" you say and put your head back on his shoulder.

Youre thinking about what has been said and stroking his stomach over and over again. You can even feel his abs through the fabric of the t-shirt.  
"I've never had someone so well trained" you mumble to yourself.  
"And I´ve never had someone with curly hair," he returns.  
You blush and laugh guilty. "Sorry that shouldnt sound shallow“  
"Well, thats just the truth. I really like your hair... and your lips."

You feel like your face blushing more and you need to change the subject as quickly as possible. But you choose a different path.  
"My lips?" you guess that a bit of naivety is good for the whole situation.  
"Definitely they're hot"  
"Do you like to kiss them?" You ask, running your hand under his t-shirt.  
"It is a real pleasure."  
Without another word, you raise your head over his and press your lips against his.  
He gratefully returns the kiss. He opens his lips slightly and you can search for his tongue. You run your lips over his gently before pressing them firmly onto his again. He sits up and pulls you back onto his lap. Presses you tightly against his chest you are able to put your hands around his neck. It feels like you are kissing forever. You stroking his hair and take a deep breath.  
"I was afraid that you didn't want to kiss me again," you say softly, pressing your forehead against his.  
"I already had the desire to kiss you as you answerd the door," he admits. "I just didn't want to rush the things. I was afraid that it would end like last time . Or you could think that I'm just here for sex "  
"Aren't you?" You ask,indignantly. "And I just wanted to ask you if your jeans aren't getting too hot."  
He laughs, "It is actually incredibly warm, I was not aware that we are having conversations in bed."  
You kiss him on his still laughing lips. But then you need to raise your head again and look at him questioningly, "Or do you feel strange to sleep with me now?"  
He let go of your neck and looks at you with the same look.  
"I was wondering exactly the same thing."  
You laugh, hit his shoulder and hug him .

"Where did our eggs go, Osamu?" You laugh and notice his hands on your back.  
"Mine were still there, earlier" he laughs and turns you on your back ,crawlling on top of you and kisses you deeply.  
"I think it's just not the right time for the animal sex we've had so far. Do you think you can have tender, slow, intimate sex with me?" he strokes your hair while he telling you with polite voice.“ as soon as you dont like something, just tell me and we are going to stop.“  
As silly as it sounds that is really a big agreement for you.  
Intimacy – with someone you barley know. What a weird situation! Looking in his dark eyes gives you a feeling to fly. So you agree.

Your approval seems to make him really happy. He smiles and kisses you while running his hand under your shirt. As he realizes that you are not wearing a bra, you notice his smile against your lips. Suddenly his movements stop. "I'm sorry, that's so unsexy now, but I have to take off these jeans." You laugh and decides to take your own pants off.  
"You're insanely sexy," you tell him, breathing heavily, and pull his shirt over his head.

You kneel before each other and kisses are going deeper . He pulls your shirt over your head and presses his body against yours. You notice how the fabric of your panties gets wet. You look into his dark eyes, he takes your face in both hands and guides you down onto the mattress.  
"Turn around" he asks you. You press your back against his torso. He touches the fabric of your panties and pushes them down.  
Osamu starts kissing your neck, goes down to your shoulder, past your breasts until he reaches your hips.  
You have a little doubt that he didn't listen to you earlier and that he is planing to eat you out.  
Instead, he runs his hand over your body, until he can touch your breasts. Playing with your nipples and hearing you moan. He kisses the spot where your tattoo is and lays his head next to your ear.  
"I'm going to use my fingers first," he whispers, "tell me if you don't like something."  
He is incredible thoughtfully. You are currently thinking about your conversation earlier may make it easier for you to communicate with each other.  
You notice his fingers run over your hip and touch the sensitive skin of your vagina.  
Suddenly you realize that you haven't shaved. "Osamu, Im so sorry I havent shave."you breathes a little to hysterical.  
He laughs on your neck "Yeah I can feel it" then he pushes his cock against your ass. "Do you think that really matters?" You moan as he touches your clit with his fingertips.  
Slowly, circling movements that drive you crazy. You press your backhead against his shoulder. Osamu takes the chance to cover your neck with little kisses.  
You groan his name and notice how his fingers moving down to your entrance.  
"You're so fucking wet," he gasps. " For me. For my cock . Im going to fuck you so well and make you feel so good.“  
His movements speed up and you start to move your hips on his fingers. "Fuck, Osamu!" You put a hand around his neck. He's so damn good with his fingers, it drives you crazy.  
"Fuck? Fuck what? "He teases,  
"ME" you scream groaning.  
You hear a dark noice. "Soon, first of all I'll enjoy the view of you enjoying my fingers"  
And you´re enjoying it. You wriggle on his hand, he has a special talent for finding your clit. But you want more, you want him inside!  
"Take a condom" you gasp hard. "Please, Osamu, Please fuck me, now"  
He kisses your neck „Its so hot to hear you begging“he whispers.  
As he moves out his fingers he looks at you a bit helpless. "Night stand" you almost scream.  
"Sorry," he murmurs, "As soon as I'm horny, sometimes it's hard to think," he explains as he puts on a condom. You roll your eyes and smile.  
"Come here" you push yourself back in his arms and put your leg over his waist.  
He puts his cock in front of your entrance and slowly pushes in. His movements are slow. To slow- youre so hungry for more.  
He pushes his arms under yours and touches your breasts. He gasps your name and it drives you insane. Youre feeling his hot breath on the skin of your neck, his movements are getting faster and faster. You cant hold on anymore, you need to moan his name load.  
"You feel so good, your pussy is so perfect for my cock," he moans. "Close your legs for me". With his hand he brings your thighs together and continues pushing in.  
"You're even tighter like this," he gasps, increasing his pace. A dark groan escapes from his throat. He need to slow down the pace. His wet forehead rests on your neck and you can feel his hot breath between your shoulder blades.  
He gives you a kiss between the shoulder blades. He pulls out of you. "Don't worry, I just want to be on top“. I want your lips on mine, ”he says, kneeling between your legs. A few seconds later, he is back in your pussy. Greedily he presses his lips on yours again an grabing your hips.  
There is a steadily increasing rhythm between your tights. Every time he pushes in you hear a wet clap.  
Osamu manages to hit a point inside you that makes you groan. He understands it quickly and hit it again and again. He increases the pace and makes you whimper. "Your juice is running down my fucking balls" he grins. You stretch out your pelvis and groan in response.  
He leans down to give you an uncoordinated kiss and groans in your mouth.  
His hips falter and with a loud, dark gasp of your name he spills into the condom.  
You both breathing heavily. His eyes are still closed. Youre covering his cheeks, his nose and his mouth with kisses . You stroke his damp hair from his forehead. "I don't wanna pull out," he says,still breathing heavily.  
"As much as I enjoy having you in me, but there is no other way"  
He smiles and pulls out carefully, to lay down next to you.

You rub your eyes and look at him. "I should start shaving regularly" you grin ashamed.  
"I showed you that it doesn't matter to me."  
You puff and mumble "I have the need to be as beautiful as possible here".  
All you get is a happy smile on his part.  
You kiss his chin and turn on the light. "I need to pee."  
You snap your t-shirt and put it on. You hear a laugh and notice his hands on your neck "Fuck, girl I think I need to be sorry".  
You turn around questioningly he is still laughing. "Maybe your neck got a little bit red". You rush to the bathroom. "FUCK" is all you say, after which Osamu has to laugh even more.  
"Don't laugh, if Yuri sees that tomorrow, I have to be questioned. Then I have to tell her everything, including the bad things “you are grinning dramatically  
"Bad things?" He smiles provocatively as he searches for his clothes. "Babygirl, the mess on your sheets doesn't suggest anything bad."  
"Babygirl?" You ask with an eyebrow raised. "I knew you would love it" he comes to you and gives you a kiss on the top of your head. "Don't you want to stay?" You ask  
He looks guilty. "I need to go. I have classes early in the morning . I am afraid that if I stay here, I wouldnt be able to leave in time. I'm sorry"  
"Dont be" you say honestly.  
He kisses you on your lips again. "I'll help you change the sheets"  
"No I wont change them, I want to sleep in it." He grimaces a questioning grin.  
"Do you think Im gross? Its just I l like your smell "  
He laughs loud. "You are really a weird girl"  
You walk him to the front door, after he has put on his shoes, he hugs you again.  
"Thanks" he says before kissing you one last time. "Send me a massage as soon as you are home" you mumble against his lips. "Afraid that I could get lost?" He asks with a grin.  
"I'm always afraid," you murmur. He holds you tight.

When you are lying in bed you dont need to wait long for the text.

Osamu

Im home again.  
I hate my discipline. I would rather wake up next to you.  
At the end of the message is a purple heart

You're smiling.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning you walk on clouds. You cover your neck with a layer of make up and a scarf.  
When you ride the bike to the university you can't stop laughing.  
When you are on your way to your seminar, you meet Yuri for a short time.  
While a slightly older gentleman told you about music in the 18th century, you draw things on your block. You think about the night before. It is so crazy what happened there. You took a guy home from a beer mood and this man gives you so much security. You tell him things that bother you so easily. You show him more of yourself than any other person in the past year. You are sure you could fall in love. You sigh. But you're going home in more or less 12 months. You deserve to be in love. You decide to wait first. When the time comes, you will talk to him.  
You notice how your cell phone vibrates in your pocket.

Osamu:  
Whats up babygirl? Slept well?

You have to grin. Even if this "babygirl-thing" is fun and not serious, you hope that he wont get used to it.

Babygirl  
I was so lonley because the boy I hooked up last night left so fast. :(  
But Im a strong woman so I am fine

Osamu:  
Youre definitely strong!  
What a bastard! ;)  
Im bored, listing to old people telling me weird stuff.  
Plans For today?

Babygirl:  
Just having classes,  
having lunch with my friend, whos going to ask about my raped neck  
I definitely need to rehearse.  
And I need to call my Dad in the evening.  
How about you plans for today?

Osamu:  
Raped neck? You were begging. That was so hot. Just thinking  
of it makes me hard again.  
Well sounds stressful. Maybe you can offer me some time? Id like  
to have dinner with you tonight.

Babygirl:  
Maybe I should make you beg someday. Maybe you got my pussy to fast... I think I should touch myself a little bit before you do next time.  
But you can be sure the way you touch me is not bad. ;)  
Just sitting here and thinking of you moaning my name makes the fabric of my pantys wet.

Osamu:  
That is so hot. Im sitting in a room with 100 people and Im rockhard.

Nothing more? Hes getting exited. He wanted to play, so you are going to play and sending an other message.

Babygirl:  
If I were in the same place as you . I would have already ask you to meet me in the Bathroom.  
Just to go on my knees and suck your dick until you are begging.

Osamu:  
Fuck.

Youre grinning triumphantly. You are asking yourself if he is ready for more. But honestly you dont care. 

Babygirl:  
Make sure no one is able to see your screen.

You grab your Beg and leave the room. 2 min later your entering the Bathroom. 

Osamu:  
Hell, what are you doing with me?

Youre grin is so bright and evil. Well, Osamu I show you that Im more than this girl who is crying all the time.  
Youre checking if you are alone and sit yourself on the toilette.  
Lifting your dress and putting youre pantys to your knees you spreat your legs and starts touching yourself.  
Youre good in making orgasmn. So you starting to rub your clit and thinking about Osamus Hands touching you. When you getting close you slide your fingers into your entrace . Youre looking at your juicy fingers and spreads them. You can see small strands of your juice. Smilling evil you take your smartphone and take a photo of it.

Babygirl:  
...send a photo

guess what Im doing

But you arent done yet. You keep touching yourself until the orgasmn reachs you. You press your phone close to your mouth and moaning the waves of your orgamsn out, including his name.

Babygirl:  
…..send a Voicemail  
I saved the final for you. You could hear it, when you are home alone. 

Osamu:  
Cant wait to fuck you again.  
Sorry my brain is out of order.

Youre sitting at the toilettet and celebrating yourself. Your cheeks are burning and you cant stop laughing. 

Babygirl:  
yeah, thought so. I am satisfied.  
About the Dinner tonight... any ideas?

Osamu:  
You are so mean.  
And incredible sexy.  
I'll pick you up at 7 P.M, okay?

Babygirl:  
Okay! Special dresscode?

Osamu:  
Dont change your clothes.

Youre smiling. He seems to be impress. Youre checking your watch. Fuck Yuri is already waiting. Youre cleaning yourself and hurry up to get into the cafeteria.

„ Youre late.“ Yuri says. „Sorry I needed to pee.“ youre useing a little withelie.  
And you got a lot of informations about the relationship with her new boyfriend Taro. Yuri is thinking of having sex with him soon.  
You need to controll yourself. You could laugh out load. She is thinking to have sex with a boy she knows for weeks. And you spread your legs for Osamu after a few hours.  
You clear your throat. „ Well if you are feeling good you should do it.“ you say full of wisdom.  
Resting your chin on your hand you got a massage.

Osamu:  
…..send a Photo  
Couldnt wait until home.  
Cant wait to make you feel that good.

The Photo shows you a piece of toilette paper, which is full of his juice. 

Babygirl:  
Fuck.

„Why are you grinning like this?“ Yuri asks and raises an eyebrow.  
„ Just textet Osamu“ you say in thoughts.  
„YOURE STILL SEEING HIM?“ that yell soundes through the whole Room.  
„Yesterday I saw him“ you say calm.  
„And we talked about the situation and I think he likes me too, so we can be friends.“  
„Friends.... I can see your friendship on your neck“ she said casually.  
Youre blushing. „Yeah... thats a long Story and unfortunately I dont have much time anymore“  
„ Well okay...but I hope you introduce me as soon as possible.“  
„Of course“ you give her a kiss on her cheek and leave.

Its quater to 7 P. M and you just came home. The whole day takes to long. Youre running through your Bedroom and calling your Dad. While talking to him the door bell rings, you answer the door.  
Osamu is looking gorgeous as usually. You shut his mouth with one hand and ask him in.  
He looks confused but as soon as he sees the phone he seems to understand.  
You says „Goodbye“to your dad and sinks exhausted on the chair.  
„Im so so so so so sorry“ you apologize. „My Timemanagment is bad as hell. I just came home 15 min ago.I wanted to be beautiful when you arrive.“ You smell under your armpits. „ And now Im here in chaos, needing a shower and some make up“ You rub your eyes and make an an annoyed noise.  
He is staring at you.  
„Okay after I was listingen to this story of a real nightmare, would you mind to come over that I can kiss you“ he says.  
You sit yourself on his lap so he can kiss you. Youve got so much butterflies dancing in your stomach.  
He is hugging you tight. „Im stinking“ you mumble. 

„Okay listen, we dont need to go somewhere, if you dont want. We could stay...“ you interupt him  
„ Noooo I want to go out with you ...I was looking forward to it“ you wine. „Unfortunately we are like animals in the mating season. We wouldnt talk much and enter the bed to soon. Dont missunderstand me I love..well like the way we are entering the bed...“  
Osamu laughs. „ I already get it and I totally agree.“  
„Please give me just 15 minutes. You can sit on my bed while Im in Bath, so we are able to talk.“ you suggest.  
He s still laughing „okay okay as you wish“ He follows you into your Bedroom and sits on your Bed. You are going to the Bathroom as he stops you.  
„Hey“ your turning around he grins „ you are already beautiful“.  
You cant hold his gaze and look on the floor shyly. „ Dont make me blush“ you say.

You turn on the shower. After a while you start singing as ususal. After showering you take off the water and grip a towl.  
As you enter your Bedroom, Osamu lies on your Bed. „It was beautiful as you are“ ...youre raising an eyebrow. „ What are you talking about?“ … „ The Song you sung“ he says.  
Youre blushing again. „Thanks, bad habit - Im singing while showering.“  
„Im sorry but you need to see me naked, now“ you say a little bit ashamed.  
Osamu huffs. „ Yeah ist is a huge sacrifice“. „For me, it is“ you tell him seriousely.  
„You were lying naked under me“he reminds you.  
„ But youre right... its the first time I see you naked“  
„Well, thats different. It was in the dark and I was lying on my bed.“ you tell him while searching for bra and pantys.  
„Im sorry you ask me to leave on my clothes, but they also smelling like hell.“  
„Dont be sorry. I just said that coz I was horny“  
Youre watching him with a grin. „Yeah I already thought so. But we should talk about that later.“  
„Oh we definitely will“ he smirks while he is watching you pulling your bra over your head.  
„Can I help you?“ he aks with a little bit confusion and Ironic in his voice.  
„Hey... Osamu ...listen, Im prepareing for a date with a really hot guy. And I ve already told you I wanted to be beautiful. So I need my rituals.“ Youre telling him in a seriouse, ironic tone.  
He laughs. „Ive never met a girl like you, before.“  
„So unorganized? Yeah thats possible“ you mumble while standing in front of the mirror to put on some make up.  
„Well I think its more that you are able to communicate about everything. Im usually not good in it. But it works out with you“ he lets you know.  
„Do you see the green dress somewhere?“ you ask.  
„Yeah its over there. I made a compliment, did you get it?“He asks annoyed.  
„Yes , but Im not good in getting compliments.“ you say casually.  
„ Better get used to it“ he says as casual as you.  
You grin. „ Would you close my dress?“  
He grins „Sure, damn those little spots are still there. I´m sure I hadnt suck that hard.“  
„Ah, dont worry about it, Ive just sensitiv skin. After our first sex I had little blue spots between my tights.“ Youre telling him while looking into the mirror one last time. Than you are turning around.  
„ Im ready“ you say and pose for him. „Do you think he is going to like it?“  
He looks at you and smiles. „He won't be sure if he deserves it.“  
He comes one step closer, takes her chin and kisses you deeply. „Youre looking so beautiful“he tells you and kissing you again. Pressing his tounge against you mouth lighty. You get the hint and open your lips to let him in. His hands wandering to your ass.  
You breathes hard „Hey Mister, Ive already dressed and Im so hungry. So you are not allowed to undress me again.“ He laughs. „It just felt so good kissing you“

You take his hand and you both are leaving the apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

The sun disappears on the horizon as you both are walking hand in hand through the streets.  
His grey hair shows much lighter in the eveningglow. You regonize that hes carrying a backpack with him.   
„Where do we go?“ youre breaking the silence.  
„Wait and see but I think youre going to like it“ he tells you. Well, he is much quieter outside your apartment, but you are the same.

So you are waiting, walking and holding his hand. After a few minutes youre arriving a small river.   
The view is awesome.  
„ See, we´re here“he finally says. „Yeah...“ you say while nodding your head. „ Thats not bad“  
He grins triumphantly.  
„ Are you bringing all the girls here?“ you ask as seriouse as possible.  
Osamus face is priceless. „Yes“ he said and he meant it. „ Just help me with the blanket“  
Youre smileing uncertainly. Youre not sure how to think about his honesty.“  
So youre help him and sit down. „Whats wrong?“ he asks. Damn hes totally good in reading you.  
„Im not sure if I wanted to have honesty in this case“ you admit. „Dont get me wrong, its completely right to tell the truth. But maybe Im used to get a lie in this case. To feel special, you know?“  
He smirks. „Yeah I wasnt sure what I should answer, but I think the truth is good because I want you to trust me“ he takes your hand again.  
„But I can tell you Im bringing you here for a different reason. I want to show you one of my favorite places. Most women want to be conquered and this place works out very well. In End I think I dont need to conquere you anymore.“  
While looking at him your asking yourself with how many women he has acuatlly been with.   
„Well I dont say that I dont want to be conquered“ you say quitely. „Im just a completely unromantic person. So maybe it wouldnt work if you try to do it with romantic places.“  
He grins. „ Are you hungry?“ he takes various boxes out of his backpack. „ In the afternoon I had some time and decided to cook.“  
Thats incredible cute but youre just thinking it. „ And I bought some beer. I thought about buying wine but I wasnt sure if you like it.“   
Your grin. „Actually I love wine. But I also like beer as you already know. If I knew you were cooking I would have bought something to drink.“  
„Yeah I thought so, thats why you didnt know“ he sights.  
You need to smile. Although he seems to be so unimpressed by everything, he is so careful.  
Youre eating and smiling. „That tasts fucking good“... he smiles and you could swear that he blushes.

„Well now I know that youre a good chef, what else do I want to know?“ youre asking yourself loudly.  
„When is your birthday?“   
„5th october and yours?“  
„Im almost one year older than you.“ you notice. „I was born at the 16th of november. Do you think thats a problem?“   
Osamu huffs „ Of course not“.  
Its been silent for a while. In all your euphoria, you quickly forget an important fact, so youre telling him.  
„Well at least it is not forever. So it shouldnt be one.“ youre smileing sadly.  
„Yeah, I know“ He says in the same tone. Firstly he squeezes your hand but than he hugs you tightly. „ But I dont wanna think about it yet“ he admits.  
„When I woke up I was walking on clouds. I didnt remember the last time I felt like that . But we need to be clear about the fact that I need to go home in more or less 12 month.“ youre crawling on his lap so you are able to put your arms around his neck. „buuuuut actually this is our first real date. Usually Im just crying and youre holding me, Im talking about my stupid personality and youre listening to it or we re having sex. Now we´re spending time together...and you know Im a weird person.  
Sooooo in the End I wouldnt be suprised if youre getting tired of me in 2 month.“ youre telling him.  
Hes kissing you gently and soft. „For me it feels so right. It feels so right to kiss you“  
This is a strange situation, you both are having your first date und youre talking about the end. But you need to continue.  
„Yeah“ you mumble. „Im afraid that Im going to be in the way someday“ you admit.  
„I dont understand“  
„ Well Osamu, youre not 18 anymore. Maybe you are going to meet a fantastic woman here. And you are going to miss the chance to get to know her because you want to be loyal to me.“  
Osamu swallows loudly and hugs you even tighter. „ Thats true, but I dont want to miss this chance here. Im feeling great to be with you. And I dont want to miss it now because there could be a woman someday.“   
Youre kissing him again. Over his shoulder youre looking on that peaceful river.  
Osamu breathes. „So do you have any ideas?“  
Youre thinking about that quesition hardly.   
„Well, maybe we shouldnt label ourself as boy/girlfriend. And as soon as you are going to meet an interessting girl you want to know closer, youre just telling me and I´ll leave you be.“ youre trying to smile and pressing your nails in his shirt. „ Well maybe I could freak out a little bit but I wont disturb it. I promise. No, I swear it. Well its not that I know you very well, but I know that I want you to be happy for the rest of your life. You deserve it. …...So , deal?“ youre asking and you put so much power in a happy grin.   
After a while hes answering just a „Yeah deal“... hes looking in your face and sweeps your hair out of it. „ On a scale from 1 to 10, how painful was it to tell me this?“  
Youre hugging him again and burying your face to his shoulder.   
„10“   
„Yeah“ he sight. „ It definitly feels like a 10“

„Ahh Osamu I hate that its getting despred now. Its the first time we´ve something like a date. So Beer?“   
He smiles and kisses you. While you both are having a beer your relaxing again. Your lying at the blanket and talking about your childhood, the differences between your countrys and personal tastes.  
You swollow the last drops of your beer. „ Just to infom you, I dont like kissing in public. I dont like those couples who are standing in the middle of a supermarket and kiss each other like one of them is going to die the next day.“  
He sights „Babygirl, youre in Japan. No one would do this.“ „Defenitly my way of life“ you laugh.   
He runs with his fingers over the spots on your neck.   
„By the way Yuri regonize your marks. And you have to meet her soon, I dont like to introduce someone“. He hands out another can of beer and opens his own.  
„Take a big sip...“ he says. „ My brother wants to mee you, too“   
Youre taking another big sip. You sight. „As you possibly know Im not good in meeting new people“.   
„Yeah I dont like it either. But : hey we met each other and it worked out“ he says ironical.  
„We got drunk and had sex“...you say emotionless.   
„Worked out for me“ Osamu repeats.  
„ That doesnt help to meet your brother“ you say.   
„He is just curious....so hes going to ask you a lot of questions, making fun of me..and hopefully hes going to be jealous that I got such a wonderful girl“ he laughs evil.  
You need to laugh too. „Sure... “ you say.  
The September air is getting cold. You are trembling a little bit. Osamu get the hint and take another blanket out of his backpack.   
„ Im pretty impress...exactly how many girls brought you here?“  
Osamu is thinking about that. „ I dont know.“ Youre making a duckface. „God, girl your lips are incredible hot.“  
„Youre just thinking of my lips sucking your cock“ youre telling him uninterested.  
„Got me there“ he laughs. 

You sight and hugs your knees.  
„Youre thinking to much. Yes I brought girls here, yes I told them sweet little things and yes it worked out. I brought you here to see this place. I sat here when we had that break to thing about that. And we both are going to be here again , because I like that place“  
„ Im so sorry, I dont know why that bothers me. Your obviously not a virgin anymore. But aawwww..... Im a weird person. Im so sorry“ you whine and feel embarrassed.  
„ I know how youre feeling. I felt like that as you told me about that guy you loved. I was kind of jealous because he had a real chance. He had the chance to love you, maybe have children and so on. And he didint take the chance. I dont really have one.“ he explains.  
„Yeah thats true. It feels like jealousy“ you sight.   
He takes one of your curls to wrap around his finger. You both are quiet for a while.  
„With how many boys did you already have sex?“ he asks.  
„3“ youre telling him. „Well okay 4 , including you.“   
He laughs „Same here. How old were you the first time?“  
„ I was 18 ..pretty late ..I know...and you?  
„ I was 17 and it wasnt that nice. 4 bumps and it was over“ he says bitterly.  
Youre thinking how to react. You could tell him that your first time wasnt that bad . But who cares?   
Instead your hugging him and keep listing to his words.  
„Well Im always thinking that Im bad. Im so unsure during sex because none of this girls told me whats good and whats not. The only thing I know is that girls liked when I ate them out. And that wont work with you, so Im kind of nervous that you could geht board of me“  
His coolness breaks, these words are honest. „So you like to eat girls out?“ you ask him.  
„To be honest yes, because I think that Im good in it.“ he admits. „ But I dont wanna force something“ he rubs your arm. „ Youre getting cold“ …  
„Youre not forcing something because you telling me what you like. Please keep doing it. Its so important to comunicate, espeacially about sex. I want to know what you like, and what you wanna try. I think we both are able to comunicate well, so Im not afraid of it. And Im promising you that Im going to try everything. Okay, Tonight I wont lie on my bed and begging you to eat me out, but its a opportunity. And please tell me if you dont like something.  
And youre holding me so Im not feeling cold at the moment.“  
Now, youre taking another big sip of your beer. „ Ah I forget to say...having sex with you feels amazing. You care about me so much. And damn you fucking me so good. I really enjoy having sex with you. And I like the way you kiss me... it just feels so honest. It feels so great to be wanted.“ you are taking his hands , just to hold it.  
Osamu says nothing...just hugging you from behind and breathing in you ear. „ You are so different from all the others girls I know. Im telling it to you again and again. But I have no words. Im annoyed that youre telling me about our first date all the time. Because it doesnt feel like that. It feels totally strange and so good. I dont know.. I just want you to know that I´ll care for you as long as I have the possibility to do that.“  
You kneel in front of him. Youre kissing him and whispering „ Osamu, thanks for showing me that beautiful place but please bring me home“

Its already dark when you both are walking home.  
„We could walk to my place, we are always at yours.“he suggests.  
You are stopping and grining at him. „Is your brother home?“   
„Yeah think so“ Osamu says.  
„Well Osamu, youre going to make me moan your name. Maybe I should have a coffee with your brother first, before he has to hear it.“  
„ …..I dont think so... Im hearing his girls moan all the time.“   
„Yeah its a good way to compete with him, but maybe first I should drink a coffee with him .“  
Osamu understands. „ Youre right … and in the end youre not like one of these girls.“  
You are smiling thankfully.

As you arrive your frontdor you just turn around to kiss him.  
„I´d love to suprise you with sexy undewear. But I had some time struggle. And you were sitting on my bed ....“  
He smiles against your mouth. „ And I already know whats waiting for me“.  
Youre walking backwards to the kitchen, he opens your dress again while youre kissing . You push him on a chair und sit on your lap. You really like that position as much as he does. Teeth clenching, tounges cicling and you re feeling him biting your bottom lip.   
His hands are moving over your almost naked back.   
„Bed?“ he mumble against your lips. Youre grinning. „What do you want there?“  
He breathes „ Making you feel so so good“. „Dont you want to make me beg?“ Youre asking provocatively.   
„ I want to make you moan“ he moans in your mouth. You back away from his mouth, look straight into his eyes and „ So I do“ you say and get on your knees.  
You open his jeans and takes it down together with his boxers. His cocks springs free and you realize that is the first time seeing his cock. He is exactly right in your opinion, so you are starting to rub him while youre watching.  
„Like what you see ?“ he asks smirking and watching you. „Yes, but tell me.. do you wanna kiss me one last time, before Im going to show you what those lips are able to do?“  
He comes down and kisses you deep,while enjoying your touch. Youre pushing him back and starts to drive your lips over his cock lightly. Youre using your tounge just du lick over his tip. Youre starting with light kisses over his whole cock, while rubbing him as light as you can. He huffs almost frustrated.   
So you are strating to rub a little bit more. Soon you see the first fluid you just erase it with your tounge. He is waiting for more.   
Carefully you take his tip in your mouth, but youre not sucking it. Just leaving your spit over it. You can hear him breathes hard.  
You look up at him. He is staring at you and you re reading it on his lips „please“.   
You were waiting for it. Now your takeing him in your mouth as deep as your can. Take him in and out. „ Fuck“ he moans.  
You are going on like that. Rubbing his shaft and sucking his tip up and down. Spiting on his cock and rubbing him stronger.   
With youre lips youre going down to his eggs. Starting to lick over his it.Youre getting a moan as response, so you re starting to take them into your mouth and sucking on them. You can feel Osamus hands on you head. You keep playing with his balls for a while.   
After going back to his cock your starting to suck harder. You can feel him go crazy.  
You notice how he starts moving his hips and pushes lightly in your mouth. Youre starting to pray that he wont deep throuting you.  
„Fuck, Fuck you need to stop“ he moans breathlessly. „Im wont last long anymore and I think could deep throught you.“ Youre smiling at him and raising an eyebrow. „Just wait.“ Hes telling you and leaving the room. Youre really confused now.   
But as he comes back with a condom you finally understand.  
„Fuck your lips around my cock are hotter than I expeccted.“ Hes still in the flow and takes on the condom quickly. „Turn around“ he orders and youre doing as he told you. He pushes down your pants and lifts your dress. You hold on to the table and spread your legs. From behind he shoves his dick in your wet pussy.   
You need to moan. You can feel him start moving. Not as slowly and gently as he used to do it. Its greedy and just have the goal to come.  
„Youre so fucking wet“ he groans.  
He is moving fast and you can hear those wet sound while he pushes in and out. And you can feel how his eggs are banging against your ass. And youre loving it.  
Your gripping the tabletop harder and closing your legs, to make yourself tighter. His moans are louder than usual and he is useing a lot of dirty words like „Fuck and Damn and Cunt“. You cant hold yourself anymore and lay your upper body on the table. He tightens his grip on your hips and you can feel that hes close. He is fucking you unbelievable hard so you dont really have a chance to breath. He is almost screaming his orgasmn out. And breathes hardly. He is almost lying on your back now and catching breathe.   
Your lying under him and need to grin. He lost his control.  
„Fuck“ he groals. „What the fuck was that?“.   
„Well, Sorry but Im getting pressed on my kitchen table by a guy who is more or less 10 cm huger than me. Ah and by the way he is still in me“ youre playing annoyed.  
He smiles and pulls out carefully.  
The next thing you hear is him takeing a deep breath and panic in his voice.  
„ Fuck! Shit! I think were having a problem.“ You push yourself up and turn around. Before he is able to tell the Problem you are able to feel it between your legs.  
„The condom is broken.“ he sights and seems to panic. „Yeah I can feel it“ you say calmly.  
Osamu is going to freak out. „ What are we going to do now? Shit I wasnt careful enough ...“   
Youre clearing your throat. „ Osamu listen...“ but he keeps talking.... „ Maybe we should go to a doctor...“   
You are really amused about the fakt that he is able to lose his grasp. Youre sitting on the table and watching the situation.  
„Osamu? Would you listen to me now? It could be important for you.“  
„Yeah tell me“ he runs with his hand through his hair nervously.  
„ Are you free of any terrible diseases?“  
He looks at you with a lack of understanding. „Yes“ he answers.  
„Me too. So we dont have a real problem, except the mess between my tights. Im on pill, so we wont get a baby. You are allowed to calm down“ youre smiling politely.

„You are...?“  
„ ….. on pill“   
„Why didnt you tell me?“   
„ Because I thought it was a one night stand. To be honest I wasnt sure of it until our date today. I wanted to tell you tonight. But you were a way to fast.“ youre explain to him.   
He breathes out and puts the pieces of the broken condom into the garbage.   
You searching vor a tissue and cleaning yourself and pull on your pantys again.  
„Are you going home tonight?“ youre asking whishing he is going to stay but your effort to sound unimpressed.  
„If you dont mind“ he tells you. Youre smiling at him and going to the bathroom. Its such a nice incident to see that Osamu who is so unimpressed by everything, has other facets.

When you are going back to your Bedroom he is already in Bed leaning against the wall and waiting for you.  
„ Hey , come overe here“ he says with calm voice.  
He kisses you deeply and you are wondering if he tasts himself on your lips.  
„Sorry for acting weird. I was full of hormones.“ he apologizes.  
Youre kissing him back. „ Dont be ….just wait until the time Im going to be full of homones“ you grin.  
He breathes. „Damn that was amazing. You were amazing. I wasnt able to think right“  
„ You were begging“ you say satisfied. „Ive never did that before“ he is telling him  
Youre hugging him and lean on his shoulder.   
„Unfourtnetly Im feeling a bit guilty, coz I havent really touched you“  
You lift your head and kiss his chin. „ Well Osamu, that was incredible hot sex.“  
He kisses you. „ But I need to sleep now“ youre telling him. Just to get another kiss.   
Before closing your eyes youre hearing his voice whispering in your ear.  
„Cant wait to fuck you and to feel everything“


	6. Chapter 6

In the morning you wake up with a smell of something good. Youre looking next to you and see that empty place almost cold.  
Youre walking to the kitchen, Osamu is standing in front of your stove with just his pants on. Youre looking at his well build back. You are able to see all his muscles. You need to smile.  
Youre stepping behind him, hugging him and pressing youre lips agains the skin of his back.  
„Good morning“ he says. You keep on kissing his back and muble „Morning“  
„You are cooking“ you notice. He s turning around and takes you by the hips and settles you on the kitchen table. He presses his lips against yours and kisses you deeply.  
He seperates his mouth and caress your cheek. „Im trying to cook but the contents of your fridge is a mess“ he says reproachful.  
Youre grining and tilting your hear. „ Have you already touch my titts to day?“ you say to distract from the things he said.  
He smiles brightley and kisses you again. „ You know its true“ he is humming against your lips.  
„Yeah I know“ your humming the same way as you shove your tounge against his.  
His hands are wandering your body up and stops under your breast.  
He takes your face in both hands and keeps on kissing you. „I want to touch you so badly, but if were doing this we wont stop. And we both need to go to our classes“ he mumbels against his lips.  
He is so rational. You are huffing annoyed. „Yeah maybe you are right. Are you free tonight?“  
The smile on his face shows you that he really liked that youre asking for that.  
„Oh I dont have any plans for tonight“ he is grining against your lips. „ Is my babygirl horny?“.  
„ I was watching a hot guy cooking food in my kitchen“ youre telling him while touching the abs on his chest.  
„THE FOOD“ he yells and turns away from you. Youre making a duckface, sitting on the table and watching him cook. The feeling in your stomach is weird it feels so good but strange at the same time. Youre totally in your thoughts. You are thinking about telling him that you are not „his girl“..but you dont wanna do this now.  
„Hey? Are you there?“ hes calling your name.  
„Yeah sorry“ youre smiling polite. „I was just in thoughts“ you apologize.  
„What have you been thinking about?“ he asks.  
Youre smiling evil. „ Well you and me between the sheets. You on top, touching my titts and fucking me with hard thrurts. And in the end youre making a real good creampie.“ youre telling him and leaning your chin on your hand.  
„BUT dont worry Im going to erase the problem of my own, later“ you shurg.  
„You are a real temptation. Im just so hard because of your words“ he says intent. „But seriousely, I need to go to those classes and I need to eat. And I really wanna have sex.. Damn it I really wanna do this but Im so sorry...“ he explains.  
Youre laughing. „ Dont worry Osamu, its completely okay. I ve told you Im going to erase my Problem on my own later.“  
He sights and finnishes his cooking.  
You both having breakfast together and talking about a lot of casual stuff. Suddenly he keeps clam again and looks hat you.  
„ Well....How can I say?“ Hes unsual nervouse. „ Straight.“ Youre telling him .  
„ Are you doing it often?“ he almost blushes while asking.  
„ Doing what?“  
„Touching yourself“  
You laugh. You really like the way he is thinking about things you said.  
„Yeah I think so. Almost every morning and evening. If I have a day off than more.“  
He seems to be unexcited. But he always seems to be it.  
„Thats hot.“ he just said.  
And youre smiling.  
„Do you wanna come to may place tonight, I could cook again?“ he asks.  
„Do I have to meet your brother?“  
„Well, maybe it wouldnt be that strange, if we are doing it at our place?“  
„ Please dont be ashamed of me“ you ask quietly.  
He is loocking at you with a questioning sight.  
„Why should I be ashamed?“  
„Because Im antisocial with strangers“  
„Ah dont care about him. He loves himself as nobody else and you dont need to say much.“  
„ Well, okay“ you agreed.  
He smiles bright. „Thank you“

And thats why youre standing in front of his building.. beeing dressed perfectly with beer under your arm. Youre waering a darkblue dress with flowers on it. Youve straighten your hair and braid it. As you knock on the door, it takes some time until Osamu answers it..  
He is staring at you and raising an eyebrow.  
„You are looking awesome“ he says in his unimpressed look. Than he hugs you and whispers „But lets be clear, you wont have da date with Atsumu.“  
„I'm so nervous like I'm getting to know your parents:“ youre whispering back. He laughs and comes down to kiss you. You are relaxing under his touch.  
You contine kissing and you wrapping your arms around his neck, his hands wandering down to your butt.  
A cough disturbs you two. Youre taking a deep breath. Put on a your polite smile and your back starts to sweat.  
„ You shouldnt touch womens butt in front of me, Samu“ the man whos talking is leaning against a doorframe.  
Osamu seems to be a little embarrassed. You grin.  
„We havent seen each other for almost 9 hours. Thats a lot of pain inside our hearts“ youre telling him dramatic.  
Atsumu smiles but its not as cute as like Osamu s smile.  
„Well,so you are the woman who made this emotionless guy went crazy? Nice to meet you“ he introduces himself

Its not that bad. You three are sitting on their kitchen table, drinking beer and talking. Atsumu seems to be nice, he seems to be more rude than Osamu. Its easy to talk to him. Youre working with all your survival strategies a lot of humor and giving smart answers.  
He seems to like you and so you do.  
„ Well, why did you come to Japan?“ Atsumu asks you. Now you need to think which is the right way to react, you havent told Osamu about it, but he had never asked you . You sight, maybe a little bit to dramatic. You can see it on the faces of the twins.  
„Well its a little bit difficult to tell it now.“ You are looking to Osamu.  
„We havent talked about that topic until now.“ youre getting a little bit nervouse.  
„ You dont need to tell“ Atsumu interups you. You can feel Osamus hand on your tight.  
„Well, it is not that hard to tell. Atleast I havent told Osamu yet and I dont want you to think weird stuff and in the end we are going to have trouble or something like that“ your looking into his dark eyes.  
„ He always thinks weird stuff, so dont worry“ Atsumu says politly. Osamu gives him a short look and get his eyes back to you.  
„My mother dies almost a year ago. And I tried to fill the hole for my brother and my father for almost a year. It worked out for a few month. But than I felt in my own hole and I need to do something. So I decided to take a break and searched for place to study. And this university answers first and so Im here.“  
They are looking at you. „Please dont keep looking at me with those pitty in your eyes. Im feeling more or less okay with this situation. I dont know maybe my brain doesnt work right or my heart is just a piece of ice. Well, altleast Im able to handle that situation quiet good. I dunno...“ you take a sip of your beer and try to deny looking them into the eyes.  
„Fuck“ Atsumu sights. And seems to be the right answer. „ How old is your brother?“  
„3,5 years younger than me. It hit him worser than me“ you sight and getting nervouse because Osamu keeps looking at you.  
Suddenly he stands up and apologize „Sorry I need to go to the bathroom.“

Youre sitting with Atsumu in the living room.  
You sight and you could cry. „Fuck“ you sight.  
„Yeah“ Atsumu said. „But its good that youre here and feeling okay“ He takes a sip.  
„Not to tell you something secret, but I havent seen Osamu that happy for a quiet long time. His Exgrilfriend isnt such a nice person. You seems to be nice and youve got an excellent humor“ he says with a hugh smile.  
„Stop flirting with girls I brought home“ Osamus voice enters the room.  
„ Just give this girl a chance to be with someone nice as me“ Atsumu says.  
Youre trying to get eyecontact with Osamu but he tries to deny it. But you are able to see his red eyes. And there it is. The used feeling of beeing guilty.  
You three are talking for a while and than Atsumu leaves you alone.

Osamu sights. You are not sure if he is angry, sad or just dissapointed. „Would you like to see my room?“ he asks. You dont really know what to say so you agree.  
His room is like Osamu. Straight and organized. Youre feeling a little bit asshamed because your apartment is such a mess sometimes.  
You re turning around to face him. „Osamu youre acting weird.. and I dont know..that wasnt a great Situation with your brother..but.. you had never ask me why Im here. And sometimes it feels just so good not to think about my situation. Ive talked about her death for such a long time. Im feeling guilty but.. “ you are not able to end the sentence. Osamu pulls you agains his chest. He presses you so hard on his chest that you can hardly breathe.  
He walks you to his bed and lays you both on it.  
Youre laying there hugging each other and remain silent.  
Once you looking up to his face you can see the tears which run down his face.

„Osamu....“you whisper. „Please dont cry.... I didnt want to dissapoint you.. It just wasnt the right time....“  
„Stop it“ Osamu interrups you. „You didnt dissapoint me. Not at all. You had to eat so much shit during the last 1,5 years. This is just not fair. And its such a pain in my heart to know that you were alone. And no one protected you.“ He sits up and is full of tears. That view makes you cry too.  
„Well, listen I was never alone. I have great friends,who were there. And now Im here with you and Im feeling save. I dont know how, but you make me feel safe. I dont wanna miss that. I just dont wanna be sad anymore so its hard to tell because everyone gets sad as soon as I end the story of my last year“  
Youre crawling on his lap again and he is hugging you again. He borrows his face on your schoulder .  
„Hey babyboy“ you say smiling and your looking at him and strucking his hair out of his face. „Would you like to kiss me gently and tender and slow?“  
He tries to smile and even this forced smile makes your belly dance.  
He moves his head to yours and youre kissing him. You re running with your lips over the tracks of his tears. Your kissing each others lips, faces and necks. Youre holding him tight and he is holding you.  
He breathes loud „ I wish I could do this forever“ it sounds so honest.  
„Well maybe not forever, but for now you can. Could you open my dress please?“  
He undresses you slowly. Every spot of your undressed skin got Osamus kiss. He cares about every part of your body.  
He opens your bra and takes him of. He kisses your lips, your chin, your neck goes down to your collarbone. You take out his shirt and starts to kiss him the same way.  
You take out his pants,while hes kissing you on your lips again. „You are so beautiful, please let me hold you this night“ he breathes.  
He takes out your tights and start kissing your ankle and goes up to your knees and your thights even your inside thigsts. As soon as he arrives your pantys he stops.  
„Can I kiss you there over your panty?“ He asks while he stroke over your covert Vagina. „Yeah“ you breathe out loudly.  
So you can feel soft kisses trough your panty that makes your moan. You can feel the fabric get wet. You arch your back and you can feel him pushing you dont again. „Take them off“ you gasp.  
Osamu takes them off slowly and comes up to kiss you. Youre watching his face and stroking his hair. „Would you like to eat me out?“ Youre asking him breathlessly.  
„I definitely want to do that, but you re asking for it out of this situation. I wanna do this as soon as you trust me and really want me to do this“ he explains and kisses you.  
„Maybe you could leave some kisses there?“ you ask between some kisses. He grins and goes down to kiss the external parts of your vagina softly.  
It feels nice. He just kisses – no tounge.  
He comes back to kiss your lips. „ Please let me hold your hand“ he asks. He takes your right hand to hold it. „Please dont let it go“ he asks. Youre feeling him so close. Not just physically. Youre feeling him lining up to your entrace.  
He kisses you deeply while hes pushing in. As soon as he got in his movements freeze and youre remembering thats this is the first time you both have sex without useing a condom. Youre kissing him and looking in his eyes, deeply.  
„Everything okay?“ You ask with a little sorrow in your voice.  
„Yeah, it is just sensitiv“ he answer with a hard breathe and kisses your lips.  
He starts moving, holding your hand and keep kissing you. He moves solwly with hot breathing.  
It feels different, there is not much action but he reaches points that make you moan.  
You cant help but it feels amazing and youre starting to moan his name. He is holding your hand and kisses you over and over again.  
While hes moving, you can feel that youre getting closer to an orgasmn. Youre enjoying that feeling and decides not to tell him. He shouldntt get nervouse or rush things.  
His breathe is getting hotter too and hes moving a little faster.  
There it is and unexpecting feeling. Something youve never had before. You graping his hair and pulling it with one hand. Nails running over his neck and back. Youre riding out your orgasmn, squeezing his hand and close your legs around his waist. „Fuck, Osamu“ you gasp.  
And he didnt last much longer. With a deep groan you can feel him coming and spilling into you.  
You are breathing as hardly as he do. He still holds your hand and looking your face up and down.  
„Did you...?“ he asks  
Youre smiling brightly and nod your head „Yes, oh my god, yes“ your still out of breath.  
He kisses you over and over again.  
„That makes me so happy, you make me so happy“ hes stroking your hair out of your face.  
„Thank you for holding me“ youre telling him. He pulls out and lies next to you as he always do.  
Still holding your hand. You sight.  
„This was incredible. Ive never had an orgasmn because of sex before“  
„ I dont really have words“ he admits „it was a lot today.“  
You put your other arm around his waist and resting your head on his naked shoulder.  
Time goes by and youre still just laying there and feeling each other. Well okay youre feeling a little more. The mix of your juices needs to leave your vagina. But there is still a question in your mind which triggers you.  
„Can we discuss a little?“ youre asking but still overthing if its the right time.  
„Sure“ he says.  
„ Well maybe its not the right time to talk about but I need to know it, why did you leave me alone?“  
He breathes out. „ You mean as you told me about your mother? Well Im not good with emotion. Atsumu is a way better. And I really didnt know what to say. Like I´ve already told you, you had to eat so much shit last year. And you are still so kind , funny and youve got such a big heart. I wanna punsh that guy who left you so badly. He should be there to carry you through this pain but he left you alone. Thats not fair....“ youre interuppting him. „ But I wouldnt be here with you if he stayed. I wouldnt be in your arms now. And maybe this „us“ we both have is going to hurt too, but I dont wanna miss it.“  
„This us.“ he repeats your words. „Yeah maybe youre right“  
Youre kissing him again. „Definitly! As always“ youre grinning.  
He laughs dark and kisses you. „I think I need to figure it out“  
„ Oh dear it is a lot of kissing today“ youre noticeing. „Dont you like it?“ he asks and kisses you again. „Surprisingly, I really do like it.“ you need to grin.  
Ususally this „Lovemaking thing“ isnt your favorite. So you need to grin and would like to tell it to him but you dont wanna use the word „ love“ in front of it.  
„Im so glad you was finally able to have an orgasm.“ he says sounding a little bit proud.  
„Yeah Im really thankful that you´ve never forced it.“ youre feeling embarrassed to talk about that. „Atleast it happend in a way Ive never expected“ you admit. „Slow and gently“ you laugh out load. „You wouldnt act an orgasm?“ he worries.  
„Oh, I already did“ you admit, „but that sounds different. Maybe hotter. But to answer the hidden question. No I didnt act. I was honest all the time with my „orgasm problem“ and it didnt seem to bother you that much. So I was cool with that.“  
„ You have to show me someday“ he smiles curiously.  
„I have to do nothing“ you answer.

He is hugging you and his hand is running over your naked skin" In the end youve to kiss me again."


	7. Chapter 7

Times goes by fast and your days are almost the same.

university  
working  
rehaerse  
spending time with osamu

Osamu showed you different places of the city, so youre really enjoying your time together.  
As soon as he looks at you with the eyes of love, youre moving away. Thats a little bit stressy- and you are afraid of this topic.

You are standing in front of your mirrow to get dressed. Today its the birthday of Atsumu and Osamu. And Osamu was mercyless and ordert you to be there. Although youve told him that your japanese still sucks. He looked at you reproachful. And you knew you have to go there. Well atleast you know you have to go, but youre nervouse as hell.  
Firstly stands the question of a gift. You both are like horny rabbits, so just sex isnt a good gift. So you had to think of something else. You recorded a CD. He asked you to sing for him a serveal times. But for some reason its easier for to you sing for a crowd than for a single person, so you hope that he´ll like it.  
But your sure he wants birthday sex so you think about it. Fortunately your exboyfriend had a lingerie fetish and so youre getting dressed with a corsage with black lace and a garter belt. Its going to be uncomfortable. Still its like that, that Osamu always takes care of you and you like him and so youre doing it for him.  
Youre searching for your black skirt and a darkgreen cardigan. As long as youre wearing the cardigan people are not going to notice that its sexy undwear what lies underneath.  
You are feeling sexy and thats good, you definitely need selfconfidence. Your styling your curls and usesing some more make up as usual. At least you put on your boots, which got a little bit more heel. Well its the only birthday you both are allowed to share. Well okay..you are going to have birthday next month. But youre going to wear sweatpants on it and going to eat ice cream the whole day. So youre giving all, today . 

As soon as you arriving you are in the middle of so many people. You start asking yourself, how Osamu knows them all.  
You are searching for him but he cannot be seen. But you can spot Atsumu and youre going to hug him. He smiles at you hugs you again and tells you „ That lucky bastard. Just to let you already know, as soon as Im drunken enough Im going to touch your hair.“ You laugh. „Well its not the first time that people are doing it as soon as they are drunken. By the way you could do it now“ But Atsumu laughs. „Nah thats rude“. „However“ you laugh „Where is Osamu?“  
„He is over there“ Atsumu nods with his head in a direction. You can spot Osamu talking to some Guys. He looks amazing, that makes your stomach dancing. He is waering a black shirt and a lighter Jeans.  
As he spots you he got a huge smile on his face. He is hugging you. You both have the agreement not to kiss in public because youre not a real couple. Your handing out your gift and you both are having a little small talk.  
New guests arrive and you decide to search for something to drink. There are to much people in this place. You find some white wine and youre sure that wine is going to be your best friend tonight. Youre sipping on your glas and watching people. Youre still fascinated about the number of people.  
Even if you were home you dont know so much people. Some people you already saw at the university and some of them seems to recognize you. One girl stops and asks you for your music and tells you that she saw you on the streets making music. Youre talking for a while as Osamu disturbs your talk.  
He asks you to help him and youre following him. As soon as he closed the door behind him, he hugs you tightly. „Oh my God, youre always beautiful but today you take the cake. I couldnt really breathe as I spottet you.“ he is telling you and takes your chin in his hand and presses his lips on yours. The kiss is deeply and almost rude.  
„Well youre looking amazingly hot,too“ you re telling him with a grin . „Cant wait for tonight“ you go in for another kiss. „But now enjoy the party - its all for you. Well and Atsumu. Please dont care about me that much, Im going to enjoy wine.“ youre smilling.  
„I will“ he kisses you again and rubs his hands over your ass. „ Please make sure to watch at your smartphone as soon as I need a kiss, Ill write you“ one last deep Frenchkiss and you both need to leave.  
Your smiling to yourself and you are really excited about the night.  
So youre spending the next hours with drinking wine and checking your smartphone.  
The wine is floating and your smartphone got mails, from Yuri, from your friends home, your father... well almost all except Osamu. Youre smiling because he must enjoy the time with his friends. Your eyes are searching for him and there he is. He is sitting on the couch and chatting with a beautiful girl. Black hair, sympathic smile and they seem to understand each other. He shows her his brightes smile and his eyes are as lively as they can be.  
So youre standing there and don know what to do. You take of your smartphone and opens Osamus messengerscreen. You take a deep breathe and already close it again.  
Youre remembering your own words and the promise you wont disturb him as soon as he meets a nice girl.  
Your eyes getting wet and your heart feels so heavy. Youre looking at your hands and thniking about going home. But he would follow you and could miss that chance. So you take the whole bottle of wine and take a seat.  
Your main Problem is the feeling you wanna cry and that you are actually pissed off this situation.  
So your staring at your smartphone and read some unistuff and keep drinking wine.

„She is far behind you“ Its Atsumus voice which asks for your attention.  
„Atsumu“ you mumble. He smiles at you. „ I need to smoke, wanna join me ?“  
You nodding almost euphoricly . Its a perfect opportunity to leave this situation.  
The October air is mild. You both were sitting on the bench in front of the house.  
You take a few deep breath. The fresh air is pleasing your lungs.  
Atsumu is watching you. „Youre smoking?“ your asking suprised.  
„As soon as Im drunken“ he answers  
„Cheers“ you raise your glas.  
He takes a deep breathe and youre watching the smoke in the air.  
„It has to tear you up inside“ Atsumu notes.  
„Im already torn“ you smile sadly. „ but Osamu deserve to be as happy as possible“  
„Ive heard of your ridiculous agreement“ he says.  
Youre taking a huge sip of your wine. „Who is she?“ youre asking.  
„ A gril I know, she is hot, so I invited her.“  
„In the end you dont really know“ you need to laugh.  
„Exactly“ he joins your laugh.  
„But she seems to be nice and thats great“ youre telling him.  
Silence. Hes smoking ,youre drinking.  
„ Why do you think its ridiculous?“ youre drunkenself asking him after a while.  
Atsumu s eyes meets yours and he seems to be thinking.  
„Ive never seen him like this. He smiles as soon as he got a massage.He cares of you and he talks about you. He has never talked about his exgirlfriend. She was a silent part of his life. You are alive, youre a real part of his life. And in the end he is trying to tell me that you are not his girlfriend.  
So tell me.... You were sitting there, staring at your phone and him flirting with another girl and you didnt leave. If I were you I would be already home. So why are you still here and not on your way home?“ he wants to know.  
You sight sounds deeply.  
„He would follow“ you are telling him.  
„See...“ he says. You dont like his arrogance, neverthless you contine.  
„ Listen Atsumu, Its just for a year, just one fucking year than I need to go home. Because Ive responsibility over there. I dont wanna label this relationship because he has the chance of something huge with this girl. It doesnt matter how many guys Im dating here because in the end its always the same. I have to leave.“ Youre hugging your arms around yourself.  
„And I care for your brother much.“ You need to stop to swollow down the feeling of tears.  
„And if this skinny bitch is the woman of his life I wont be in the way. As long as he is able to be happy its okay. Osamu ask me to look at my smartphone, because he would sent me a massage, if he needs me.“ Youre showing Atsumu your smartphone. „ You are allowed to look there is nothing. So he enjoys chatting with her. And its okay. „  
As long as he is happy it is going to be okay...“ you are not able to contine. You sight deeply.  
Atsumu is putting an arm around your shoulder. „ He feels the same. And Im almost sure he wont leave you this year. With our without agreement. He is going to be there. I think he is chatting with this girl because he thinks you are expecting it. Well in the end its not my buisness, but Im just watching and telling you what Im able to see“  
„Thank you“ you are leaning you head against his shoulder, just to rest a little. He smells different than Osamu. Twins are fascinating.  
Youre feeling better now getting up the bench and turning around with a smile. „Are you already drunken?“  
„Am I allowed to touch your hair?“ Atsumu seems to be excited . „Yes you ve definitely deserves it“ youre smilling. „ Okay it is a huge moment“  
He strokes youre hair and seems to be really interessed in it. „Believe me or not it definitely feels diffrent to japanese hair. Im telling you a sceret, I could smell it too. And Im a little bit jealouse of Samu.“  
„OMG Atsumu.... I was jealouse....“ youre saying it in shock.  
He laughs out loud. „ Of course , what did you think?“  
You take another sip of your wine.  
„I dont like that“ youre telling him with dissapointment in your voice.  
„Hahaha actually I´, loving it. So I told you a secret , would you tell me yours?“  
„Which one would you like to know?“  
„What would you do, if there are not that agreement and of course your pride?“ he smirks.

Youre taking his cigarette out of his mouth and takes a deep breathe. The smoke hurts in your lungs.  
„I would eat her alive“ youre telling him.  
He is watching you with smirking eyes „ Yeah I thought so.“  
„I´d like to sit on his lap so everybody is able to see ….“ the wine makes you honest.  
„....to see ? What?“ he asks.  
„ Well I dunno... maybe us... ah forget it“ youre hiding your face with your hands and blushes.  
„Atsumu Im drunken.. Maybe I should go home“ you sight and shurg your shoulders.  
He raises his eyebrow. „ I wont stop you, but I dont think thats the right way.“  
„Yeah“ you agree... you just want to add something, as a familiar sound reaches your ear.  
„Oh No“ your panic. „No, No, No“ you are hiding your face again.  
„Whats wrong?“ Atsumu worries.  
Youre laughing a little bit insane. „ Can you hear that song?“.  
„Yes?.... and? I dont know it....“  
„Yeah you cant know it... because its mine“ you tell him still laughing insanly.  
„Where?“ he just said with a questionmark in his eyes.  
„Its Osamu´s birthday present. And for some reason everybody is able to hear ir now.“  
Atsumu looks at you and gets a bright smile. „ It sounds nice, so why are you to freaking out?“  
„I dont know“ you are still laughing! The song ends and you can hear your cover version of Elton Johns „your Song“.  
„I could cry, Atsumu. Everything went wrong. Damn! Im looking awesome today. And the man I wanted to impress is talking with a stick figure without soul. The gift I gave him, which was personal, entertains the whole crowd.“  
Atsumu laughs „You should laugh too. Youre really a funny person.“ He is hugging you...you keep on talking about all the stuff goes wrong. As you hear someone calling your name . Your turning around and Osamu is standing in front of you.“  
Atsumu murmurs „ See, I told ya everthing is going to be fine“  
He gazes his brother and leaves back inside the house.  
You re getting a strange feeling in your stomach. Youve no words you want to tell him which are kind.  
He clears his throught. „ Its you...isnt it? The music?“ you need to smile. He recognizes your voice.  
„Yeah... seems so...“ you say coolly. He steps closer and kisses you. Ah ! But you cant do it now, you want to tell him that youre mad and want to punsh him. But his lips on yours are feeling so good.  
He strokes you hair. „This is an amazing gift. Thank you so much. Im so proud there is such a talented woman who likes me.“ he is telling you.  
You try to smile. And youre hateing yourself for beeing pissed off.  
„Youre tasting off smoke..“ he admits. „Atsumu“ youre telling him and rolling your eyes.  
Hes trying to take your hand but youre running your way through your hair.  
You cannot avoid it. The bitch in you is spelling out of your mouth. „You dont need to be here, there is a nice girl inside who is waiting. Ive my wine and as soon as my wine is gone, Im going home.“ Osamu is starring at you.  
„Whats your Problem?“ he asks unsurly.  
„I dont have one ! Im not your girlfriend. If you´d rather spent the night with her, just do it. Your should make sure to use a condom. I dont wanna have any diseases. You are allowed to do whatever you like. And if it doesn't work with you two, you can call me. But than I wanna be sure there are no diseases.“ youre snapping at him.  
He smiles and it makes you sick.  
„I really dont know whats so funny. Im just cool with this situation.“ohh you can feel the rage is coming up.  
„Yeah Im watching you beeing cool. Just to let you know. This girl youre talking about studys the same as me. And we were talking about our goals in life and the things were interessed in.“  
„Oh Im sure she is really interessed in your cock beeing in her vagina.....“as soon as you spoke out this words youre realize how stupid youre acting. You fall down on the bench and Osamu joins you - still with this weird smile.  
You sight as deep as you can. „Im sorry Samu ,Im drunken....“ you apologizes. He puts his arm over your shoulders and looks at the sky. Youre resting your head on his shoulder. Youre just sitting there. „Im not angry anymore“ youre telling him.  
He seems to be so relaxed. „Angry?“ he asks provocatively.  
Youre huffing annoyed . „ Yeah Okay ….I was jealous.... and it pisses me of. And Im so fucking annoyed that Im just doing such a Drama, now. Although I dont wanna do this but but in the end I cant change it.“Youre ending with an annoyed noice.  
He takes your hand and kisses it. „I really enjoy it. But let me ask you one question: Have you ever thought of trusting me?“  
You re searching for the right answer. „Well I think I have no right to demand trust“  
He puts his head back and sights .  
„You were right, that girl definitely wanted to spent the night with me...“ he is not able to end his sentence. Youre sitting up and explain fanatically „ Have you ever looked of my titts and hers? That skinny bitch got nothing.. okay maybe she would be tighter but....“ Osamus voice is still calm. „ Shut up. I would like to finnish my sentence...“  
You take another sip of your wine. And hugging his waist and press your head against his cest.  
„ ...as she more or less ask for it I told her that Ive a girlfriend....“ he explains and waits for your reaction.  
There is silence for a while.  
„.... yeah I think you have one...“ you agree quietly.  
He takes a deep breathe. „I was so afraid that youre going to be mad“ he breathes out and laughs.  
You are a bit overwhelmed so youre moving to your „feel-good position“ on this lap.  
Youre stroking his face with your hand and with other youre grab his. Youre kissing him and he returns it.  
„You were so cute beeing jelouse“ Osamu murmurs against your lips.  
„I dont think so....I hate beeing like that“.  
„It just shows me that you care for me. By the way I know that youve got amazing titts and I love them and you are tight enough for me. The most important thing is, that you are mine now. Damn babygirl you belong to me and I need to tell it everyone.“ he says euphoricly.  
Youre resting his forehead against his. „Could we do it step by step? Tell it to Atsumu and the girls who would like to touch you.“ Youre still not good in ruhsing things.  
He laughs and kisses you.  
„Let me show you something“ you whisper and open your cardigan. „This is going to all yours tonight“  
„Oh my god, you are so hot like this. I cant wait to undress you tonight.“ he breathes.

Its almost 5 a.m As you both enters his bedroom. You both are totally drunken.  
You are not able to walk straght. You are opening your cardigan and let him watch you.  
„Damn youre so hot“ he stammers. And kisses you sloppy on your neck.  
„ Yeah I did it just for you“ you stammers.  
He laughs dirty. „Damn I wanna do those thinks“  
„Which things?“ youre asking .  
He smiles at you drunkenly.... „I wanna eat you out, make you feel great....“  
Youre laughing. „Coz you are my boyfriend?“  
„Im definitely yours“ he said  
You spread your legs and smiles at him.  
„Just get on your knees and do it“ you said and spread your legs.  
„ But youre looking so beautiful“  
„Yeah and we are so drunken,so just eat me out ,Im going to wear those things tomorrow again.“  
You can feel his hot breathe against your pussy. He starts to kiss your inner thigts and soon you can feel him shoving his tounge over your clit It feels nice and it makes you wet, As he starts to suck on it you even need to moan. But it isnt enough „You definitely need to do this when Im sober again.“ He lifts his head and smirks at you.  
„Do you want me to fuck you?“  
„Yeah, in the dirty way.“ youre almost begging. He comes up to kiss you. He tastes like you and you like it.  
He stops and looks around and makes it appear as if he is about to tip over . „I dont know where my condoms are“  
You are looking at him and you see him twice. „ Just fuck me, we dont need it, do you remember?“  
He laughs. „True, damn youre looking so hot like this. Spread your legs for me“  
And so you do. He enters you, he moans loudly. „Fuck, I wanted do to this since you arrived“  
He starts moving, faster as you expected and that makes you moan. But you still need more.  
„Harder“ you beg. And he fulfills your request. He fucks your hard und squeezes your breasts like he never did before. „Flip over“ he gasps. And your going on your knees. He grabs your hips and knees behind you. „Youre so tight like this Im fucking love it“ . He is fucking you in a rough way. It almost hurts and youre loving hit. Youre almost screaming. As he finished you just rest your head on the pillow and falls asleep.

As soon as you open your eyes you just wanting to vomit. Your sitting at the corner of the bed. Osamu lies next to you, naked and still sleeping. Youre still wearing your underwear and it hurts. Your whole body hurts. You borrow one of his used shirts and going to the bathroom to knee in front of the toiltte. There is still a mess between your legs. So you both had sex. But honestly you are not able to remember anything. The last things you are remembering are that you agreed into a realationship with Osamu and that you bet with Atsumu that youre better in drinking shots.  
You re resting your head on the toilet seat and just murmur to yourself.  
„oh god, what happend?“


	8. Chapter 8

Youre staying almost 30 minutes in front of the toilette. You need to vomit. Youre looking at the watch its 9 a.m. . How long did you sleep? 3 hours?? Your moaning and enters the living room again. It looks like a mess. Bottles, Food....looks like a great party you grin to yourself. Firstly you need to take out this corsage.You are lying it on the couch and watching your body. You have sores on different parts of your body. Fuck off!  
You decide to make breakfast but realize that you need to clean first. So you do. Sometimes you got a feeling that you need to go to the toilette again, but nothing happens.  
Youre starting to make pancakes. Its almost 11 o clock as and miserable looking Osamu makeing his way to the bathroom. He is able to vomit you notice a bit jealousy.

JEALOUSY! Oh fuck ..you made drama last night. Even sober you dont like that.  
Osamu comes out of the bathroom and sits on the kitchen chair.  
„I'm sorry you had to experience that“ he says while wheeze painful.  
You set yourself on the kitchen floor and lay your head against the cupboard and watch him.  
„Im so fucking jealous that you were able to do that“  
He sets his eyes on you and smirks. „Jealous again?“  
You are acting a laugh. „You really celebrating it...“  
„Yeah Im feeling great about that fact. Because it means you like me...and wants to be with me... and you are my grilfriend now. And thats one of the greatest gifts Ive ever get. So yes Im celebrating it“ he moans and touches his head with his hand. „I'm so hungover“  
„Yeah me too“ you said.  
He is grabbing a bottle of water and is watching you closely.

„Everything okay with beeing my girlfriend?“  
„Yes Im just tired and my hair hurts“  
„Your hair?“ he asks doubtfully  
„Okay, my whole body.“ you laugh. You lift up your shirt and show him the red spots on your body.  
„I forgot to undress myself and thats the result“ you tell him.  
„Shit...Im going to take care of it later. Unfortunately I dont remeber anything of last night“  
Still showing the spots you tell him.  
„ Me either. But we had sex there was still a mess between my legs“

„NOT AGAIN“! You are turning around to see Atsumu on his way to the bathroom.   
Youre recognizes Osamus hands which pull down your shirt again.  
You look at him questioningly. Osamu shurgs.  
As Atsumu comes backs he sattles down on the couch.   
He looks annoyed. „Slept well? As you both were done with „making love“ load as hell . I never wanna hear the word „harder“ said by you again. He looks in your direction.  
„And the moans of you are something what destroyed my inner child.“ he gazes at Osamu.  
„Just shut up Sumu. Im hearing it every weekend.“   
„Bullshit, Samu Im always quiet as a dessert.“  
As soon as they are in their flow they are unstopable.  
„Im Sorry Atsumu“ you interrup this little argument. „We were just to drunken.“   
He finds your corsage next to him and lift it up in the air wordless. You stand up and brings it in Osamus room just murmur a „sorry“.   
You are feeling ashamed. As you came back the argument is starting again.  
„Have you ever heard of a Love hotel?“Atsumu snaps to his Brother.  
„Oh boy stop acting like this!“ Osamu loses his coolness.  
„Well Ive never been in one“ you said. „It is not necessary , because we are going to use my apartment.“  
„The fuck we are going to do“ comments Osamu.  
„Id like to be in one, just to see it, you know, but at the moment I dont have money for it.“ ignoriering Osamus comment just trying to change the topic.  
„I made pancakes, are you hungry?“ you contine acting careless.

So you havening breakast together more or less peaceful. You all have a hangover, so nobody really has the energie to talk.  
„The Western style pancakes are awesome“ Atsumu praises.  
„Thank you!To be honest this is one of the things I miss the most. The food at home.“youre telling them.   
Osamu tries to say something as you got a call.  
Its Yuri. You are answering the phone and a lot of gossip is waiting for you

„Just now?“..

“Okay...“

„But thats happening all the time“

„First sex is never good, because you both dont know each other“

„Today? Its a bad timing...What do you think of meeting tomorrow. Come to my place..Maybe Osamu is going to be there too.“

You can see on Osamus face that he dont want to be there. So you role your eyes and whispers a „please“

„Yuri, listen its sex. You had sex once, and Im sure you were super prepared. But maybe he was as nervous as you. Its going to be better, you just need practice and patience. Yeah but we should talk about that later..... Yeah.... Im looking forward for it.“

You hang on and sight.

The twins are staring at you with a questioning face.

„Well, some girls are complicated and have too high expectations. I hate these girlstalk. By the way we both have a date with Yuri. Youve never meet her. And I was already on your birthdayparty and met Atsumu“ to be honest you dont wanna discuss about this topic. You are almost sure that he is going to be there anyway. 

„You are right. Ill be there.“ Youre smilling at him thankfully.

Later after cleaning the rest youre lying on Osamus bed again. He set on his chair and seems to think about something. Your head is to tired to discuss. You want to catch some sleep. So you close youre eyes and you are gone. 

As you wake up you can feel his lips on the back of you neck. Hes hugging you and lies behind you.  
Youre humming pleased and turns around to face him. He is so pretty, you cant stop watching him. Youre hugging him as he does. „How are you doing? He asks with calm voice.  
„Still hang over. But a bit better. You seems to be quiet thoughtful today.“  
He hugs you tight. „Yeah maybe.“  
You know alcohol affects the psyche. It seems that he dont wanna talk about it, so you decide to trust him and change the topic.

„Have you ever watched my tattoos?“ you see his eyes lighten. Youve recognize, that he is interested in it . But he never asks.  
„Yeah but I didnt want to stare that much“ he admits shyly.  
Your are smiling „ So let me show you something“ at first you show him you forearm. „See this is a fox, because my surename means fox. The signatures are the one of my mother, father and brother. Its my favorite one, I think you can imagine why. But it makes some trouble, because I need to hide it sometimes. Maybe I havent thought enough about that place.“  
Youre showing him you foot, where you got some music notes. „Music has always been a big part of my life, it was my first tattoo. And it hurt the most.“   
Osamus eyes are attentively.  
„And last but not least.:“ youre lifting your shirt and show him the one which covers the skin under your breast. „This is a line out of a song. Its something like my motto in life“ you explan  
He runs his fingers over it.  
„Forever shall the wolf in me desire the sheep in you“ Osamu murmurs the line.  
„I quickly learned that I should always look for the sheep in a person.“ Youre smiling more to yourself than to him. „Ive never told someone about the meaning“  
No reaction. So your entertaining program just failed.

Youre taking his hand. He takes a deep breath. „Whats going on in you mind?“ you tip his head with your finger.  
„I was so happy yesterday. When you more or less agreed to be my girlfriend. I was watching you as you were cleaning and joking around with Sumu. And I realized that it was my first and last birthday with you. Its making me sad.“  
„Yeah I understand“ you really do. You take a breath. „Its a real success that you get me to label it. And Im feeling good. Just to see you with that girl yesterday, was tearing up my heart, . But in the end its like that:  
Im going to leave. As long as Im not drunken, Im able to controll my feelings. So if you find another girl you need to meet her....“   
„Shut up, I cant hear that...“ says Osamu rude. „Youre talking to much bullshit.“  
„Okay“ you snap back and stand up to undress his shirt and search for your clothes.   
„What are you doing?“ he asks.  
„You seems to be annoyed of me and my bullshit. So Im going to leave you alone. Maybe you need it. I really tried to brighten the mood and showed you my whole body and tell you secrets“ You put on youre cardigan again.   
„But obviously its not enough. So have a nice evening, if youre feeling better tomorrow I would be happy, if you could meet my friend.“ You put your underwear into your bag.

„I havent spent much time with her the last time....“   
„That was your decision, Ive never ask for it!“ he snapt.  
„Are you fucking kidding me? Ive never said thats was because of you“ your voice getting louder.  
„ By the way you are the one who always said that he had no time! I was there to meet your brother and I was on your birthdayparty although I felt uncomfortable because you ask me for it!!! I just ask you to meet my only friend here and it seemed to be impossible“

Youre about to leave but stop again as he says „If you say so“.   
You notice how the anger rises in you. He turns around and watches at the wall.   
You open the door and leave - just to turn around.   
„Well Osamu, you are not the only one ,who is going to loose someone. We are a fucking team in this situation. I know there is something going on in your mind but as soon as you stop talking with me, you leave me alone.“   
He huffs annoyed. Thats enough.  
„Do you know what? Thanks to the gods that this argument is at this time of the month, so you dont need to search for apologizes why you are not able to see me, like last month. Just to inform you I wont be fuckable for the next week. SO FUCK OFF“ you shout.

In the living room you meet Atsumu, you re smileing politely „Maybe beeing his girlfriend wasnt my best idea. Have a nice day“

And then you are on your way home. Your heels clatter on the asphalt. Youre watching the sun goes down and the feeling of missing him is already there.  
You totally get his point. You could start loving him and you have to leave him in less than a year. That makes you sick. But what should you do? You need to tell him the truth. And that includes the possibility to be with another girl.   
Does he really think it doesnt hurt yourself to tell him those things?  
Maybe useing your period asaccusation wasnt fair. But it was really like that you told him that youre getting your period and you just saw him to drink coffee and he was busy in the evening. You sight.

You take a shower, dresses your comfortable clothes and lays on your bed. Your head still hurts. Youre watching your smartphone. Nothing, just yuri, who still cries about the fakt that she hasnt got an orgasmn.  
„If only she knew...“youre rolling your eyes.  
You decide to cook.  
You open your fridge and realise that there is nothing. But your plan was to spent the evening at Osamus place. Atleast youve cornflakes.  
While youre watching a tv show on your tabletscreen, it knocks on your door.  
You are almost sure its Osamu. But youre tired and dont wanna argue again. But you still answer the door.  
„You seriousely bring me flowers?“ you ask with cold in your voice.  
„Ive never done this before“ he just said. „ I know“ You take a step to the left so he is able to walk in.  
You sat on your place again, turns of the screen but keep eating.  
Silence.

He says your name in the warm tone. „Youre becoming my sheep.“  
You stop eating and looking at him. „ Yeah thought so.“   
Silence again. But you dont wanna do the talking.  
„Today I realized that you are right. I need to leave you someday. And my brain toatally get it, but Im not sure if my heart does the same.“  
„We know each other for almost 2 month, maybe you are going to be tired of me soon“ you telling him chewing.  
„Well I dont think so“  
Youre smiling at him. He is so cute you could really fall in love deeply.  
„Maybe we should wait and see. Or would you like to break up after 20 h? And its a seroiouse question.“  
„Of course not I was begging for it since we ve met. And I really like spending time with you...and well I really like you and the things we do. Ive missed you since you left my room“ Osamu seems to be nervous. And you are feeling bad to let him beg.

„Yeah me too and I usually dont miss persons. Im kind of broken in this way. Its unusual for me that I always freak out when it comes to you. Sometimes I cant handle it“ you admit.  
„Last night you asked me why I don't trust you. Im not used to it. I always need to control everything. But this got out of control and it doesnt feel wrong.“ You said while standing up and entering his lap again. He hugs you and you can feel his hands get under your hoddie.  
„Im a kind of broken too. My exgirlfriend gave me the feeling to do something wrong all the time.“  
Silence again.   
„You were deeply in love with her..“you notice.  
„Yes“ he sights. Youve a strange feeling about this girl, but you wont discuss it. He is going to tell you some day.  
It feels so nice to have him this close. „Thanks for coming ...well and the flowers“

„Thank you for beeing with me“ he says and finally kisses you. He clears his throat „About that period thing. My exgirlfriend always wanted to be alone in this time, so I didnt want to disturb you.“  
Oh youre so sick of this exgirlfriend. But you are swallowing down your anger and clearing your throat too.   
„Firstly Im very sorry to bring up this topic , but Im a different person. I will never expect you to have sex with me or anything during this time . I was just confused because you were here all the time and as I told you about that time of month you were so different. It felt like I had a serious illness. But than I thought „okay maybe he just wanna stay if there was sex before.“... That felt a little bit strange for me...well maybe it hurt a little bit.“  
Osamu seems to listen carefully.  
„Im sorry.“ he whispers. „I just want you to feel good and I thought I was not necessary for it.“  
Youre looking him straight in the eyes. „At the moment you are the most important thing to make me feel good.“ He smiles and kisses you deeply.  
You but you arms around his neck and act the thinking woman.   
„Well Samu what do you think? Would you like to go to my bed and make out a little bit with me?“  
Osamu smiles and stand ups and carries you to your bed.   
He lies on top of you and kisses your face. „Thank you for all the things you told me about you tattoos.“ he breathes. „Im so impress you are so thoughtful and it makes you even more beautiful“  
Youre kissing him. „Well Osamu, I remebering not much about last night, but I think you eat me out.“  
Osamu grins. „Yeah I did but I didnt have the feeling that you liked it“.  
„Could you do it again?“ Osamu just smiles and take of your hoddie, to kiss every part of you breasts. He sucks on you nipples and makes you moan. He goes down to your belly and with his hands he shoves your pants down. Youre completely naked now. He lies on his stomach and bring your one leg over his shoulder. Damn he looks so hot like this.   
You can feel his hot breath between your legs. He starts with kissing your inner tights and goes to your scharm lips.  
You can feel him spread them with his fingers just to lick from the buttom up to your clit.  
Fuck, it makes you moan. He starts moving his tounge around your clit and suddenly he starts sucking hard on it.   
That feeling makes your whole body tremble and moan his name. He keeps doing it a serval times. Fuck you need to grab his hair and pull on it. You can see his eyes meets yours and he smiles while looking at you.   
His hands slide over the sides of your body til he raches your tits which get a hard squeeze.  
You can feel his tounge going down to your entrace and swallowing all the juice there. Just to go up to suck your clit again. At the same time he pinches your nipples.   
„Oh God“ you gasps. Hes bringing down one hand ,you can feel him put two fingers on your entrance. He sucks hat you clit and shoves 2 fingers inside your pussy. „Fuck Osamu“ you chug.  
You start moving your hips on his fingers. As you open you eyes you can see him watching his fingers in you entrace. Just to put his mouth over your clit again and makes you moan.  
You can feel how swollen your vagina is and how wet it feels while he shoves his fingers inside your pussy.  
You are arching your back to bring him closer to you, pulling his hair and hold his head on that place.  
Youre enjoying him. But you want that he can feel your wet pussy on his cock. And you want him deep. He is still clothed.You can see the collar of his shirt is wet. You cant judge if its his sweat or your juice.   
„Samu this so so good, please fuck me now“ youre begging. You kiss his lips and you can feel his wet chin. Your pushing down his pants just as much as his cock springs free. You can spot a lot of precum on the tip.  
You grab his ass and urge him to penetrate you.   
And finally, finally he enters your entrace. You cant even thing clearly. „Fuck you are so wet“ he gasps. Youre putting your legs over his shoulders. And he gets the hint and moves faster. You need to moan loadly. There are all these wet noises in the air beside the breathing of you both. You can see the sweat runing down his forehead.  
„Let me be on top“ you ask with a husky voice and he quickly agrees. As you both changing positions you take out his shirt. You see him watching you, how your titts bounce as you start moving.  
You graping his shoulders and riding his cock. You can feel his hand goes down and circle your clit.  
You need to close your eyes, the feelings overwhelming you. You are moaning his name in the roughes tones.   
You lean forward and lets him bump into you from below. Youre searching his lips and trying to kiss him.   
You will never tire of seeing him like this, just before orgasm. One of the hottest parts of your realationship.   
„Fuck“ he gasps as his hips starts shaking and you can feel him spilling inside you.   
„Happy Birthday“ you breath in his ear.  
He catches breath. „You are the best gift ever“he says and you believe ihm.  
Youre kissing him and get off his lap.  
„That felt fucking good“ youre telling him and kissing his cheek.  
He still catches his breath and strokes your hip. 

„Do you have any plans for your birthday“ he asks after a while.   
„Well I need to pee first than we are able to talk about it.“ you stand up. Osamu is grinnning.   
„Damn thats so hot! You with my juice dropping down your thights“  
„Would you eat me out like this?“ you asks with a smirk.  
„I´d try it but I dunno if I like it or not“  
„Never tried yourself?“ You enjoy luring him out of his comfort zone.  
It seems like he dunno what to say.  
„Dont worry I wont judge anything“  
„Have you ever tasted yourself?“ he asks a counter question.  
„Im always sucking my fingers after masturbating“  
He laughs and rubs his eyes with his hands. „ You drive me crazy.“  
Youre smirking at him and leaving to the bathroom.  
„Youre not used to talk straight, arent you?“ you asking him as you crawl into your bed again  
„Not with a woman“ he admits.  
„Get used to it, you are going to do it the next 11 months.“  
He smiles almost shy.

„Well about your birthday. Do you have any plans?“ he asks.  
Youre searching for something to sleep in. „My plans are staying in bed all day and wearing sweatpants.“ you murmur. „ I dont really have friends here, so it wont make sence to party much. Maybe Im going to invite Yuri...and maybe Atsumu...should I invite Atsumu? Im not sure, but hes nice …. You are going to be here...“   
Osamu laughs. „Are you talking to me or yourself?“  
You pull a shirt over your head. „I dunno maybe more with myself“ you laugh  
„Would you leave it to me?“ Osamu asks  
„What? Osamu I dont wanna celebrate a hugh party!“ you protesting.  
„I said nothing about a party. This year your birthday is on saturday. I have an idea we both could spent the day together. You just have to agree.“

You nod your head and kiss him.


	9. Chapter 9

After a few hours of restless sleep. You wake up sitting in bed breathing heavily. Osamu is sitting next to you and rubbing your back. „Nightmare?“ he asks with soft voice.  
„ I dont know“ you catching air and feeling the sweat all over your body.  
„You were screaming things I dont understand and stitting up“ Osamu explains.  
„ Im not able to remember anything“ you calm down. „This is not the first time for me, that something like that happend.“  
„Should I hug you exceptionally?“ he suggests.  
You re noding your head and he s hugging you tightly.

Youre waking up like this. Actually, you two don't like to sleep that way, but this morning it feels nice.  
You are turning around to face him. You can see that he needs to dye his hair again.  
„I think Im falling in love with you“ you whispering in your mother tongue. As he opens his eyes and smiles tired.  
„I definitely need to learn your mother tongue“ he whispers. Although you are sure that he didnt understand what you said.You are embarrassed.  
„Nah its unnecessary“ you tell him. „Because my japanese is so perfect so we could talk in this language as soon as we got sick of talking english.“ you say ironicly.  
Osamu kisses the tip of your nose. „Your japanese isnt that bad.“  
„Liar“ you tell him and kisses his lips. „We both know it and we can only hope that I don't have to go to a doctor or anything.“  
He rubs your hip. „I would accompany you if you want“  
„I was hoping you would say something like that“ Youre kissing him and your right hand slides over his body down in his pants.  
As soon as you touch his cock he breathes in sharply.  
Youre smiling evil and raises an eyebrow. „Morning boner?“  
He breathes „suprise suprise...but listen we dont really have time. We need to eat.“  
Youre smiling and starting to stroke him slowly.  
„How long do you need to jerk yourself off? You ask still rubbing him.  
„Dunno, not that long“  
„See, we dont need much time“ youre kissing him. „ Just show me what you need“  
„I should do it on my own?“ Osamu ask confused.  
„No just use my hand and guide me and tell me how to touch“ your whispering against his lips.

He pushes down his boxers and watches your hand wrap around his cock. „Fuck“ he hisses between his teeth.  
You can feel his hand covers yours and guides you over his cock. First you both rub the tip with short strokes. You can feel his precome on you hand. As he comes closer he guides your hand deeper.  
Youre watching him, his face, his hungry eyes, the uncontrolled twitching of his facemuscles.  
„Touch here and a little harder“ he breathes. This situation is incredible hot. You can feel how he starts moving his hips.  
Youre kissing his cheeks and rest your head on his shoulder. Breathing in his ear, you are able to watch his face and his cock which is getting more wet, while jerking him off. He erase his hand from yours and grip your hip tight. It doesnt take long and he gasps a short „ Im coming“.  
Youre kissing the cornor of his breathing mouth and watch him coming all over your hand and his stomach.  
While he catches his breath you are covering his neck with kisses. You are lying on you back again  
watching his sperm on your hand.  
„Kind of funny that I have millions of potential children in my hand right now“ youre telling him thoughtful.  
He watches your hand,too. „Sometimes you have funny thoughts in your head“ he notice and stroke your hair.  
„Do you wanna have childern some day?“ he asks with soft voice.  
You are thinking about the answer carefully. You are almost sure, so your telling him.  
„Yeah, Ive so much hidden love in my heart, so I think it would be a good idea. But as an musican its not that easy, coz giving birth to a child could change your voice a little bit. But yeah, some day... “  
You drive your finger through his sperm. „What about you?“ you ask.  
„Well, with a woman by my side that I trust, I really want to have one, someday“  
Youre smiling at him and kisses him. „ It would be a shame, if you are not going to have one“  
As you say so you are remember that you wont be the mother of this child. Although you know it, it hurts.  
You need to leave the situation. „I should wash my hands.“ you are telling him with a smile.  
Youre standing in front of the mirrow and leaning against the sink and take a deep brathe. You are starting to wash your hand as it knocks on the door.  
„Am I allowed to join?“ Osamu aks with husky voice.  
You open the door and he hugs you. „I don't want to be alone as long as Im sad“ he whispers.  
Youre hugging him tightly and press your head against his naked chest.  
„Im sorry that I left. I didnt have words and we cant be sad all the time although we are so lucky to have each other“ you murmur against his chest.  
„I am the one who need to be sorry. As I ask this question I thought about having children with you“  
he laughs bitterly. Although you thought the same you try to be the stronger one.  
„I know.“ you sight. „but honestly we are a couple for 48 h..“  
He interrups you „For me we are a couple since the first time we met“  
This is unbelievable cute, that Osamu thinks that way. You really want to kiss him, but you contine.  
„…...What I want to tell you ... children are far far away, although we would have unbelievable smart children.“ you are trying to smile as you always do.  
„Hopefully they would have your hair...“ he tells you while playing with your hair.  
„I need to break the habit of runnig away as soon as the things get worse“ you say as you undress your shirt.  
„Just trust me that Im able to hold you“ Osamu adds.  
„I trust you more than everyone else here.“ you are telling him more by the way.  
He is hugging you again. „That means so much to me“  
You are hugging him too and muble“ We will miss the first of our classes, or?“  
„I think so...“ he says and you know it pisses him a little of but as he rembers the morining he smiles  
,“ah sorry.. I forget „Thank you for you know“ he whispers as he kisses you.  
„I know“ you sight „We're late either way...so showering together?“

Its the first time that you are both doing it together. You are laughing and kissing all the time. He washes his hair and yours and his hands running over your body over and over again.  
You lubricate your legs and ladyparts with shaving cream and search for the razor. As soon as you take it. Osamu covers your hand with his and whispers in your ear: „Can I do this?  
„Shaving me?“ you ask with a questioning look at him.  
„Yeah“  
You are a little bit afraid that it could be painful for you but this naked man in fornt of you is so incredible hot and youre feeling desirable.  
So you nod and watching him go on his knees in front of you.

You can feel him pulling the blade over your skin slowly.  
Carefully he watches you if everything is okay. As soon as he finishes your left leg he starts to kiss it from your ankle up to you inner thights.  
It is an incredibly intimate situation, youve never done this before . You can see his eyes watching every part of your leg.  
As soon as he finishes kissing your right leg he guides the Razor to your vagina.  
Youve never showed somebody this intimate part of your body so detailed. Well okay maybe your  
gynecologist but it doesnt count.  
As he starts shaving your vagina you draw your breath in sharply. His eyes goes up to you quickly. You can feel his fingers move over this sensitiv skin.  
He finnishes his work and showers the rest of the cream away. He starts to kiss your skin down there. Youre leaning your back against the wall and put your right leg over his shoulder.  
He searches your eyes and drives his fingertips over your legs. „Osamu“ your breathing his name and close your eyes while lean your head against the wall too „ Osamu, I need more.“  
And he eats you out until youre shaking.  
As you realise that you are able to come. Its almost there. It is difficult to keep the balance. Osamu needs to hold you while hes sucks your clit and make you moan as loud as you can.  
„Fuck, That was....I dont get the right word... something Ive never had before“ you breathing heavy and youre searching for your balance.  
He comes up and kisses you deeply, your tounges are dancing and you can taste yourself on this lips. And you still need to catch your breathe.  
„That was unbelievable hot“ Osamu murmurs.  
Youre feeling his hard cock against your tight.  
„Should I turn around for you, to make you happy again?“ your whispering.  
„We need to go to classes“ he whispers between the kisses. There he is - your reasonable boyfriend.  
Youre whimpering and sight „ Yeah you are right“. So you step out the shower and searches for a towel. Suddenly you hear Osamu groan „Damn fuck off.“  
He takes you by the hips and searches for your entrance . „It wont take long“ he breathes into your ear.  
You hold on to the sink and breathes heavy as he sinks in your pussy.  
He fucks you hard and a persistent rhythm. Your pussy is still sensitiv and it makes you moan to have hin inside. He is useing your hole, coz it made him so horny to eat you out.  
Fuck you like that situation. You can feel your juice dripping down your tights.  
As he promised - it doesent take long. He catches your upper body and presses you against his chest, while groaning loud and coming inside your pussy.  
As you look up you can see your both in the mirrow and you recognize that he watches you too.

He still catch your eyes in the mirrow and kisses your neck. Youre taking one of his hands just to hold it. He leans his head against your neck, it seems to smell your scent. Youre moving your hip that he leaves your body and turns around to press your naked body against his. He mumble sweet nothings against your neck. Gliding his fingertips over the sides of your body. You need to laugh bright. 

„Maybe you should leave some clothes at my place“ you telling him, while cooking breakfast together.  
„Really?“ he sounds suprised.  
„Sure you are staying here almost every night and we wont be able to stay at your place the next time“  
„Why are we not able to stay at my place?“ Osamu raises his eyebrow.  
You know as soon as you explain him the reason, he is going to discuss.  
„Well, because of Atsumu. BEFORE we need to discuss it. I would be glad if I could leave some clothes at your place,too.“ Your smiling at him. He kisses you. „Of course you can do this“ he says with calm voice.  
And while turning around he looks at you „ We won't let my brother dictate our life.“  
„Its not like that. I just want him to like me. And I think it isnt a good way that he hears me begging you to fuck me harder“  
Osamu smirks. „Personally I dont think that its wrong.“  
You hit his shoulder and looks at him reproachful.  
After breakfast you are going to leave to for classes.  
„Thanks for that morning“ he says.  
„Remember! 7 p.m. Dinner with Yuri“  
„Ill be there“ he answers smiling.

Its 18.45 p.m. As it knocks on youre door. You were making some pizza and were busy to cut mushrooms. You are opening the door. Its Yuri with a bright smile.  
„I am super excited to meet him“ she is almost singing.  
You try to smile. Sometimes its hard for you to deal with all her livly emotions.  
„He is not here yet“ you almost apologizes.  
„No Problem“ she answers and put two bottles of redwine on the table. Youre watching the scene a little doubtfully.  
„It seems like you expect a lot this evening“ you comment.  
She smiles at you. „ I know you are better with something to drink and I dont wanna do the talking all the time. And Osamu seems to be as quiet as you are.“  
You are smiling with a put on smile and you already know who is doing the talk anyway.  
Yuri gets the order to cut some ham in little pieces.  
It knocks on the door and Osamu arrives. „Sorry Im late“ he says a little out of breath and tries to kiss you but youre moving your head away. „No kiss?“ he asks confused while walking behind you. Around the corner he spotts Yuri and understands.  
But Yuri wouldn't be Yuri if she didn't comment on the situation. „Yeah, no kiss?“ she asks with a smirk and raise her eyebrow.  
Youre smiling at her ironicly. Youre turning your head to Osamu and let him kiss you quickly.  
„Satisfied?“ you ask her sarcastically. „Almost“ she replies.  
Osamu although puts two bottle of wine on the table. Youre looking at him with a questioning face. „Well you are better with alcohol and people“ he shurgs is shoulder.  
„Do you both think that Im an alcoholic?“ you asks and laughs upset. You know who you are and the both were right. Its easier for you to talk with a glass of wine.  
As Yuri explain the Situation to Osamu he needs to grin.  
The dinner is nice, you are watching them talking and it seems that they like each other. So you are able to relax again.  
Youre eating pizza and drinking wine, and listing to Yuri who tells all the details of her realtionship with her Boyfriend.  
As far as you understand the sex sucks because he is an unromantic person. And although she loves him he needs to change it.  
„Love..“you mumble more to yourself than to the talking.  
„What?“ Yuri asks.  
„Forget it... I was just in my thoughts.“ youre hoping that much that she would just contine. But it is Yuri you are talking about.  
„Of course I love him, he is my boyfriend.“ and she contines with the most impossible thesis she could choose „He is your boyfriend too you must know what I mean.“  
Your back starts to sweat.  
„Okay.....well.....Yuri listen... I need to search for words...“ you stammer.  
You feel Osamu takes your hand under the table and squeezes it. You are relaxing again und are able to contine.

„Im not good in falling in love and to tell someone that I love him needs time. Of course I have feelings but maybe Osamu and me ..thats a different situation“ You are hateing her for brinring up these topic.  
Your palms are sweatty.  
„Well Yuri its like that, we both just have this year. Maybe its not the best idea to fall in love deeply.“ Its Osamus turn now to explain that situation. Suddenly he takes your chin and kisses you. He smiles at you and turns his head to Yuri. „Well but as long as we both enjoy doing this we will contine“  
Yuri smiles and seems satisfied and contine talking about the problems with her boy.  
Its almost midnight when she goes home.

Osamu and you are sitting in the kitchen again and breath out.  
„She is able to talk that much, and such personal things..unbelieveble“ Osamu notice.  
„Yeah, sometimes its exhausting.“ you breath out.  
„Have you ever told her about our sex?“ he ask with a strange sound in his voice.  
„Well just once. After our first night. But all in all its just our business.“  
He is thinking you can read it in his face. „Well what did you say?“  
You are shurging your shoulders. „That weve fucked and it was good“  
He laughs silently.  
It seems like you both enjoying the silence.  
„What do you think? Would you like to share a glas of wine in bed with me?“ He just gives you an unbelievable smile.  
„How could I deny a handsome man?“

He has clothes in his bag to leave it at you place. You both changing your clothes and and crawl under the blanket.  
Osamu got two glasses of wine und handles you one. „Cheers“ he says and smiles at you.  
Youre nipping on your glass and thinking about the evening.  
„How are you doing?“ Osamu got the hint and is already there. „Im just thinking about the evening. I think I want to tell you something“  
„You dont need to tell me something if you dont want to. I dont expect something“ he says seriousely.  
„No, its just about that love topic Yuri brought up. I dont think that we both or Yuri and Taro are able to talk about real love. And you were right it isnt the best idea to fall in love here. I just wants to let you know that I could.“ you stammer with blushed head.  
„Could what?“  
„Osamu, I could love you. Im almost sure that I could really love you.“ you breathes out its not easy for you to talk about that.  
Osamu takes your hand. „Yeah me too.“ he sights. „I thought it a few times that I must be awake not to fall to hard. When I watched us in the mirrow this morning, I just thought that I want this forever“  
You take a huge sip of your wine and takes his hand. You are starting to kiss every knuckle.  
„ We should enjoy this... I mean we are like that a short period. It s going to change one day. I think as soon as people get used to each other that feeling of beeing together forever change.“ You empty your glass. „And in the end breaking up wont be that hard. We should make the time we have to one of the best in our lifes“  
He says nothing. Just kisses you. Long with less tounge and more eyecontact. You are saying good night and turning off the light.  
But when you're lying in the dark, you're not sure if you be already in love with him.


	10. Chapter 10

It becomes autmn, the leaves are colored in impresses colours. You are getting used to the fact to have a boyfriend, someone who takes care of you and is really interesseted in your life. You are spending time together as much as possible.  
Its getting darker outside and the weekend of your birthday arrives. Osamu told you that you need to pack suitcase and that you have to be ready at 5 in the morning. You are not good in getting suprises.   
Your birthdaymorning beginns with a knock on your door. As you open you not only see Osamu.  
Atsumu attends him with tired eyes. „ Oh my god Atsumu what are you doing here? Thats great“ you are almost yelling in suprise.  
„Dont wake the neighbours because of him showing up“ Osamu murmurs.  
You cover your mouth with your hand and grin guilty.  
„Jelouse, Samu?“ Atsumu hisses to his brother.  
„But I wont miss the chance to hug the best girlfriend my brother ever had on her birthday.“ And so he does. He is hugging you and tells you the beste wishes.  
Osamu grins. „Oh Im not jealouse as long as I can do this“ He pulls you towards him and kisses you - in the dirty way „ Happy birthday“.  
You must grin, he would never kiss you like this if somebody is around.  
The boys argueing about everything so you got used to it.  
„Just a second, come in“ you tell them. Atstumu gins, „Of course, I ve beer“   
„Its 5 in the morning“ you saying with and raise an eyebrow. Atsumu shurgs his shoulders and opens you a can. „Cheers, enjoy your day. And as soon as he messed up, just call me.“  
„Oh he wont“ you say with soft voice and stroke Osamus hair while sitting on his lap.  
As you finished your beer you searching for your suitcase.  
As you arrive the kitchen again Atsumu starts to laugh and Osamu stares at you incredulous.  
You raise your hands defensively.  
„I know, I know you said one night, but you havent told me what we are going to do so I need clothes and shoes for every possibility.“ Osamu shakes his head but grins.   
Youre saying Atsumu goodbye and follwing your boyfriend and asking him 100 questions about the things which are going to happen.  
He just smiles at you and takes your hand. „Your not good in suprises“  
You sight dramaticly. „Yeah because I want to know eveeeeeerything.“  
Its so nice to see that he enjoys the time he spents with you. He is smilling a lot. His eyes shows you the honesty of his smile. He stops, grabs your hands, pulls them up to his chest and looks into your eyes.  
„Okay babygirl“he whispers mysterious „...We are going to take a train ride....“  
You keep looking in his eyes and holding your breathe. Youre standing still in this situation.  
„......and?“ you re asking him almost shy.  
„Ah sorry, I forget“ he says and leans down to kiss you. Youre moving your head aways and keep staring in his eyes. As you realize that he is not planing to tell you more. You clap his sholder and go ahead.  
„Why does your love hurts so much?“ you are telling him theatrical. Just to freeze again a little because you both still dont talk about feelings. You thought about it quiet often, you are more or less sure its self protection.   
But is it necessary to talk about everything? In the end its one of your strengths. Meanwhile you are almost sure thats some kind of love for you.  
According to his behavior its the same for him.  
Unfortunately its going to end some day. The last weeks you both try to avoid this topic. The thing is the more you devote yourself to each other, the more it hurts in the end.   
But you feel so safe, loved and held that you try to ignore it.  
„If I remember correctly, you like it when it hurts a little“ he tells you while walking behind you.  
„If you annoy me and the memory will be all you have left today“ youre singing and shaking your ass provocativly.  
„Hey“ …..He says your name in a soft warm tone. ..you are turning around and he smiles at you. „I'll do everything I can to make sure you have a great day“  
That makes your heart beats fast. Youre acting cool and make a durckface. „Well okay you are allowed to kiss me once.“   
„Of course, I said something incredibly nice“ hes laughing before he kisses you. 

As you arrive the train station he hands you out a ticket. „Just watch yourself“ he smiles.   
„Buuut I cant read your funny signs.“ „Signs“ he huffs „ It's an old language show some respect, and honey I made sure that they write „Signs“ on it you understand.“ he says and lays his arm around your shoulders. Meanwhile you opens the ticket. „Tokyo?“ youre looking at him. „ Not good?“ Osamu seems nervously.  
„If we would kiss on public places , I definitely would do it now“ instead you hug him. 

The Trainride takes almost 3 h. Youve been in Tokio just once. As you arrived, so you dont know many places there except the airport.   
Youre leaning on his shoulder and resting a little bit. As you wake up ,you can watch his facial profile in the morning sun. He is watching out of the window but the November weather isnt better than the weather in your country.  
There are so much things in your head you wanted to tell him, but you dont have words.   
His eyes meet yours. „Slept well?“ he asks with soft voice.   
„Better than last night“ you say yawing. „What was wrong?“he asks …. You were not there...you think ,but youre telling him just „ Dunno.“   
He takes your hand and murmurs „This night is going to better“  
„You take care of me so much“ you mumble. „You are telling me that over and over again. Of course, I do you are the one for me....at the moment.“ he adds.

„It is not a matter of course that someone cares about you“ you murmur and biting your bottom lip.  
„For me it is.“ You smile at him and rest your head on his lap watching him. He leans forward to look at your face. Youre strocking his hair out of his face and he is strocking your cheeks. You are taking his hand and guides it to your breast. He raises his eyebrow. „Thought you could like it“ you shurge your shoulders. He smiles „Sometimes I would love to know whats going on in your head“  
„There is a lot of hard stuff and some of it is dirty.“ you explain.  
„We should talk about that later“ he laughs.   
You were just waiting for this sentence. „What we are going to do later?“  
„Just wait and see“ he smirks and leans down to kiss you. Before his lips meet yours you lay your finger on his lips. „No kissing in public“ you tell him and gaze him in his eyes.   
He takes your hand away „I dont care“ and presses his lips on yours.  
As he moves away you keep youre eyes close whispering „We are definitely one of those couples I dont like.“  
Youre reaching the suburbs of Tokyo. „Well Samu I need to tell you something“  
He looks a bit suprise.   
„Im not good in moving crowds. If the impressions become too much, I easily panic.“ It is not easy for you to talk about your weaknesses, but it could be important for you and him.

Although you both were joking around all the time, He just become seriouse and keeps stroking your hair. „Oh okay, I didnt know but I thought something like that. We are going to have moving crowds and a lots of people in Tokyo. Please tell me as soon as something feels wrong or you dont like something I planned. Or just take my hand and squeeze it if you are not able to talk.“ Osamu explains his thoughts.  
„Where did you know?“ you asks with suprised voice. He smiles „ Babygirl I was watching you“ he smirks.   
You arch your back and kiss him.

As you expected Tokyo is a lot of trouble for you. You are holding Osamus hand and he guides you through the city.  
At first you are doing sight seeing.   
There are so much impressions that your head is working all the time. Suddenly you remember something. „What do you think,maybe we should take a photo together?“ you ask unsurely.  
Its like that, you both dont like photos so you are start to discuss as soon as someone tells you to do some. So you are not sure what he thinks about that.  
„Yeah, we dont really have one..“ he agrees.  
„And its just you and me and noone else who tells us whats good and whats not“ you keep on justifying your idea.  
„Ive already agreed“ he says played annoyed and takes out his smartphone.  
You are hugging his waist and leans you head against his chest. He takes a photo.  
„Yep thats kind of okay. You are beautiful as always and that works out for me.“ he shows you the screen. You are watching the screen. The lights of the city as backround. Osamu is hugging you and he even smiles. As soon as you look at you, you recognize that something is different. You dont really know what but as soon as you realize your eyes become wet.  
„Hey should we take another one? I really tried my best smile.“  
A tear runs over your cheek. „ No no you look awesome. Its just … Im looking so carefree and happy“  
Osamu press you against his chest. „ You are so beautiful and at the moment you are mine. My girl. And I promise Ill take care of you as long as possible. Im so thankful for the time we have, Ive never been so happy and satisfied with a girl.“ he murmurs.   
You could agree but you dont want to talk about feelings and love and so on it would make you sad.   
So youre hugging him tightly. 

You both are walking down a streets full of lights and a lots of people. You are walking to the train station again to pick up your suitcases.  
You put your arm around his and drag your suitcase after you. Sometimes its like a dream, you are in Japan, on your birthday. By your side walks an incredible hot man, who wants to be with you. It starts to rain a little bit and you hopes that the way isnt any longer.   
You stop in front of a building that is different from the others. Its almost kitschy. You are looking at Osamu and he just grins. Then you understand.You stand there with your mouth open.  
„O.M.G. It is...? youre getting super excited. Osamu grins and nods „ A lovehotel.“  
.„Im super excited“ you are jumping around like a child on christmas morning. „You said you wanted to stay there, so here we are. The whole night.“  
„This is super exicted“ you repeat. „ Yeah you said so...“  
Of course Osamu isnt super exicted as always. He takes your Hand and you both walks in.  
Its a strange feeling to talking to someone who cant see you. But so you got a key and you both walk to the elevator.   
„Nervous?“ Osamu asks obviously amused. „Yeah I am, Im completely from aboard. We dont know something like that back home. I am totally fascinated.“   
Osamu presses the button and you keep talking but suddenly you need to stop and think about something.  
„Do we have sex NOW?“ your questuion sounds almost naive. Osamus face is priceless. He starts laughing. „Why do you ask this?“  
You enjoy the view of see him laughing. He laughs more than when you first met.  
Your shurgs your shoulders „ Ive never been here before, so I dont know the rules“  
He hugs you and kiss the top of your head and leans his cheek on it.  
„You are so unbelievable cute. Of course there are no rules. Some people just come here to sleep or rest a little, like my parents did“ he almost murmurs the last part.   
You lift your eyebrows „ah of course“ you say casual. But need to laugh inside.  
„Well I think its going to be like this, you are running around to look in every cornor of this room while Im sitting on the bed and listening to the things youre telling me.“ predicts Osamu.

He could be right with his guess, you are quiet impress that he knows you so well. He had to watch you closely. But in the end it isnt a suprise, because youre watching him too.  
„Ah by the way, couldnt you be such super exicted if we meet someone on the floor“ It seems Osamu really worries about your manners. You just huff and smile. 

Like he said, you are running through the room and he watches you. Its more or less a normal room. You know there were themerooms, too. But you are quiet lucky that he didnt choose one of those. You need to talk about something like that. And you think he knows that.  
„You are staring at me“ Osamu notice. You blush and walks to his lap to sit on it. You love this position, you are feeling him so close like this.  
Instead of kissing him youre leaning your head against his shoulder and he hugs you tightly. „Everything okay?“ he asks.   
„Yes, just a bit tired, beeing super excited is very exhausting“   
He laughs in low voice. „I was afraid that Tokyo would be a little much for people like you“  
„People like me?“ you need to look him into the eyes.  
He strokes your hair out of you face and smile „ So sensitive, like you are . Ive never met someone like you, who watches the people around that closely. And your judgment is usually correct, thats quiet impressiv for me“  
„You are impressiv for me“ you smile. „It seems like you never get annoyed of me and you usually dont tell me what Im doing wrong, you just telling me to see it the other way. That impress me“

He kisses you and his hands running under your sweatshirt. „Dont blame yourself that much.“ he whispers in your ear. Youre kissing him, resting your forhead against his „You do it yourself, but you never tell it.“   
You can feel his hands wandering up to your breats. „ We have 2 hours...“ he murmurs against your, lips. „Whats going to happen in 2 hours?“   
„Wait and see“ he tells you again while playing with your nipples until they´re hard.  
Youre moaning and undress your sweatshirt and your bra.  
„Eagerly?“ he asks with husky voice.  
„Do we have sex NOW?“ you repeat your question from before.  
Osamu presses you on the mattress and kisses you deeper, tongue claiming your moth all over again. You can already feel yourself getting soaked. His hands drags up your thights and under you skrit to undress you. He already guides his hands between your legs to rub you clit.  
„30 min“ your mumble against his lips as you push down his pants.  
„ an hour“ he mumbles back.  
„I need to get dressed nicely“ your pulling down his clothes. „So dont argue, just fuck me“  
He growns your name in a rough tone. And lines himself up to his entrance. He goes all in and streches your pussy almost painful.  
You are moaning long and pleased and arch your back. You are loving it this pain in the beginning and he knows that.   
He kisses your breasts and pull your nippels between his teeth. „Fuck“ you moan loudly.   
He gets on his knees and liftes your hips up and watches your body moves as soon as he thurts in you.  
You can see it in his eyes how much he likes doing it this way. His thurts becomes faster, with one hand you need to support yourself on the wall behind you. Your moans become louder and the your breathes become heavy....as your smartphone starts ringing. Usually you dont care, but its the ringtone youve set on your fathers number.  
You cant stay concentrate on Osamus cock inside you. „Hey“ he whispers breathless. And leans forward. „Are you afraid to tell me that you wanna stop?“ he kisses you. „Well its my father...Im so sorry“  
„ Bullshit dont be sorry for something whats more important than my cock in your pussy“ he says seriousely. He pulls out and searches for your clothes.   
You are not sure what to do now, or what he expects. He makes a sound and sits next to you. You are watching his still half harden cock.   
He takes your face in his hands and makes you watch in his eyes. „ Dont stress yourself that much.“ he kisses you „At the moment you are my girl, so we can finish later, tomorrow or next week. Its your birthday and your father called you, so call him back and talk to him. Im going to take a shower and we are going out for a dinner. But please tell me if you are feeling uncomfortable.“  
„I dont need to tell, you always see it yourself. Thank you“ 

You get dressed and sit on a chair near the window and videocalls your father back.   
You were talking to him and he seems to be satisfied that you are looking good. After your Dad you talk to your brother after a little smalltalk you start to argue as you always do.   
Osamu comes back and sits on the coner of the bed and searches for clothes in his bag.  
You wave kisses in the camera and says goodbye.   
You are watching Osamu, you will never get tired of it. Because of the happenings during the last   
30 minutes you are able to label your feelings. Its love. You love him. Its a shame that you cant tell it to him. He is so perfect, he respects and supports you in every way he can. But as soon as you going to tell it. He is going to love you too. And its going to hurt so much as soon as you both need to split. And it wont be easy either way.  
You sight deeply. Osamus eyes meets yours.  
„Whats up babygirl?“   
You feel caught. You lays your chin on your hand. „Well you jerk off in shower, didnt you?“  
He laughs. „Guilty“  
„Thats hot. What should I wear tonight?“   
„Well you brought just a few things here... maybe you are going to find something“ he is making fun of you.  
You are rolling your eyes. You knees in front of your Suitcase and searches for the things you need to get dressed. Your shuffeling around and humming a melody.  
„Condoms?“ Osamus voice tears you out of your thoughts. You are turning around he is standing behind you and raises an eyebrow.  
„ Do I have to know something?“ he asks. Oh that damn bastard, he wants to provoke you. But you are blushing anyway.  
„No you dont.“your voice rush to much, So he still wants to know. He looks at you with raised eyebrow and an expecting grin.  
„I just wanted to be prepared. I didnt know where we were going to be.“   
„And you thought there would be other men you can have sex with?“ he asks disbelieving.  
You are blushing more and more. „Of course not, why should I have sex with an other man?“  
Osamu seems to be confused, so you need to be honest before this situtation is going to get worse.  
„Well I wanted to be prapared if we......you know“ You scratch the back of your head.  
He laughs and it sounds amused. „Sorry, but I really dont know what you are talking about, but I think I need to know it, otherwise we could get trouble.“ Okay, he isnt amused.   
„Man Osamu, I wanted to be prepared if you ask me about anal sex“ you are almost yelling hysterical with dark red head.   
He looks at you almost stunned, its hard to make him speechless but you did it.  
„ I should get dressed now“ you say and leaving with your things to the bathroom. 

Under the shower you need to laugh. His face was priceless. You are dressing yourself in a black velvet shoulder free dress. You leave your hair open and put on some make up, more than usual. You painting your lips dark red and your eyes almost black. This dress fixes your curves perfectly.   
You are going back to Osamu to see that he also dressed himself in an fancy jacket. He is so handsome like this. You are smirking at him „ Im so happy, that Im allowed to go out to dinner with such a beautiful man“  
You are searching for your black blazer and the black glitter pumps. You are a little bit afraid that the anal sex theme scared him. That wasnt your plan, you know he is not that good in talking about Sexual preferences. You tried it once. But he said he likes more doing it than talking about it.   
Because of the fact that this relationship won't be forever, you accepted that.   
You put on the blazer and throw your hair over your shoulders and watching yourself in the mirrow.  
Osamu hugs you from behind and starts to kiss your neck and rest his chin on your shoulder.  
„Im so sorry, as you come out the bathroom, I didnt have words“ he murmurs. You are catching his eyes in the mirrow.  
„I don't know how you always do it. At the beginning you look like you always do, then you go to the bathroom and as soon as you come out I can't say anything that is due to you. I want to tell you that you are beautiful but Im feeling that its not enough“ he tells you.  
You raise an eyebrow and tap his head „crackhead“ you just said blushing.

You will never get used to the fact that he things you are beautiful. And you cant really deal with compliments.  
„We need to take another photo tonight“ he says. And you need to grin he never wants to take photos.  
He holds his arm out to you and you hook yourself up. You both were going to the subway, after a short ride he guides you to a restaunt. The name of the restaurant sounds fimiliar to you. You just need a few secounds as you realese whats going on. He brought you to a restaurant with food of your home country.  
You are the one who has no words now.   
You are just staring at him and the banner of the restaurant.  
There was no time in your life someone cares about you said much. You are feeling his hand pushing you back. „Well dont we wanna go in?“ Osamu asks.  
You are just able to nod your head.  
There are not much people in there, Osamu talks to the owner but its obviously that he isnt japanese. So you starts to talk in you mother tounge. He is as pleased as you are and so you are talking a little about your home.  
He escorts you to a table for two, hands out a Menu card and leaves you both alone.  
Your eyes examine the room, you cant stop grining.   
„Osamu... I really really really dont know, how I can tell you how I feel now.... And how I can Thank you... I really dont know“  
„Are you happy?“ he just ask.  
„I just cant remember a time I was happy like that, maybe I was a child.“ you eyes are getting wet.  
Osamu grins in takes your Hand. „That's all that counts .And I'm happy that you're so happy about a restaurant, To be honest Atsumu knew about these...“  
Your are interuppting his speech. „Its because of you. You are the fact in my life that makes me happy. More than happy.“ youre feeling the tears comes up.  
„And Im asking myself all the time how I deserve it, that someone like you, cares about me that much. Im just one of these odd women, who is good in a beeing a friend or just beeing fucked, who is always funny and its nice to hang around with. Im falling in love with guys who gives a fuck of me...No I let them fuck me and hurt me. And I went on the other side of the world and visited a party and wanted to hook up with a guy who seemed to be nice. And exactly these guy brings me to Tokyo in a love hotel and these restaurant just to show me how much he cares for me? Its maybe its not smart and completly stupid but Osamu I lo.....“  
Your speech got interrup by the women of the owner who wants to meet you. She hugs you as you both really would know each other. You are polite as always and indroduce her your boyfriend and she leaves you with the promise to talk again later.  
You have lost the thread, but you are sure its better this way. Osamu is watching you with his unexpressiv look. You feeling stupid about the things you said. You avoid his eyes.  
„I feel the same.“ he grabs your hand. „And its the only birthday we both share. So I wanted to make you as happy as possible. Maybe for selfish reason.“ you squeeze his hand.   
„I want you to remind me when you are back home. Even in 40 years. While you celebrating your birthday with you grandchildren I want you to remember this day we spent together as a special day in your life“ You can feel tears running down your cheeks. Osamus eyes are as wet as yours.   
He clears is throat and smiles at you „ Im gonna show you later“ he smirks. „But for now we should order a bottle of wine and you need to tell me what I should eat because this food doesnt make sense for me ...by the way your mother tounge sounds weird “ He looks over his menu card and smirks.  
„Leave it just to me“ you are telling him and orders some food whichs typical for your home and wine. As the wine comes Osamu aks the waiter to take a photo. He hugs you tight and you give him your best smile.  
„Why is this photo so important for you?“ you ask while sitting down.  
„I want to show my grandchildren that I fucked a woman like you“ Osamu smirks. You raise an eyebrow. „Yeah your wife will love it.“ you say ironiclly.  
He seems to think of it and shurgs his shoulders.  
„Im going to use it for jerking off, so just good for her“  
You need to laugh. You raise your glass „Cheers“.  
The food come and you can´t really tell if Osamu likes it or not. You enjoying it. While eating you are talking about your familys and he seems to be really interessted in you home country.  
The Women of the owner comes back and shows you some photos of the city she raised. Youve never been there but asks polite questions. She asks what you are doing in Japan and as you tell her that you study music she becomes almost frantic.  
„We have a piano, could you sing my favorite song? They played it when my husband and I married“ she almost beg. She is so nice and so you agreed.  
You settle down at the piano and try to remember the notes. Usually you dont like to sing without warming up your voice. But you havent much a choice. So you start playing and try your best. In the end you are more or less satisfied. It wasnt your best, but it was spontaneous.  
The Owner got tears in their eyes and hugs you. Well that is the greatest wage. You are going back to your table and mumble a „Sorry for leaving you alone, but it seemed important to them“   
Osamu stands up and kisses you. „Im so proud of you“ you cant remember the time, that someone told you that and its a great feeling.  
You got another bottle of wine and shots. As you wanted to pay the woman hugs you and tells you that you gave him something so special that there is no need to pay anything. She just let you promise to visit again as soon as you are in Tokyo again.   
You smile and hugs her again she reminds you of your grandma and you would like to see her again.

The Novemberair is cold as you walking hand in hand back to the hotel. You both are silent, there was a lot of talk this evening. „Ah, I forget something“ He tells you and reaches into the pocket of his jacket. And hands out a little box. „There isnt a ring in it?“ you asks doubtfully.  
„You hardly wear jewelry, that's why I came up with something better“  
„I thought Tokyo is my gift“ you open the box and need to smile.  
„A music box?“ youre smilling at him. „Yeah so you can remind me, this is playing the song you recorded on the cd“ he strokes your cheeks lightly. You pull him down to a kiss.   
„I will never forget you“ you mumble against his lips.

In the elevetor of the hotel Osamu seems to be nervous. He is dancing around and it makes you nervous too.  
Youre smiling at him „Whats wrong loverboy?“   
He scratches the back of his head and breathes out. „Well, because of the topic we had earlier...“  
„Which?“ you dont really have a clue whats the problem of your boyfriend is. But its unbelievable cute when he's so insecure. You put a arm around his waist.  
„With the condoms...“ you can hear the embarressment in his voice.  
You have to make an effort not to laugh.  
„Ah you mean anal sex....“You nod your head understandingly.  
„Yes I need to tell you that Ive never done this before. I'm afraid not to fullfil your expectations“  
He talks as if he were walking on raw eggs. You enjoy it, he's always so sovereign in every situation. You breathe out.  
„You are cute. But I dont have any expectations. I just wanted to be prepared if you ask me for it. Its not that nice to have sperm in my ass. And I wants to give everything I can , so I just wanted to be prepared. At least we should be sober if we want to try it, you need to be more careful and honestly Im to horny now to try something extraordinary. Well I wanna try something but I´ll tell you later. Just think about whether you want to try it or not. And than tell me“

He kisses you and down your chin. As soon as you close the door behind you he takes of your jacket and starts to kiss you shoulders. You get on your tip toes to press your lips on his while taking out his jacket. He strokes your back to look for the zipper of your dress,he pulls it down and your dress falls on the floor and you are just waering your tights and pantys.  
His hands wanders over your naked skin and you open his belt. As his pants falls,too you are able to see this already impressiv tent in his boxers. He starts to kiss your breasts, drive with his thumbs over your nipples and watching them harden.  
„Lets get back to bed“ you breath as you feel his bites. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. He walks you to the bed and lays you down. „So what do you wanna try tonight?“ he kisses your nose und hums.  
You giggle and twist your body back and forth in shame. „Well.....“ you are watching him take of his shirt. „Would you let me sit on your face?“   
He smiles against your lips „You want me to eat you out while sitting on my face? Thats a huge step for you“  
You take of your tights and your panty. „Just promise me you will say when you run out of air, Ive never done this before so I need you to help me“ you are telling him with an innecont tone in you voice while you're tracing the lines of his cock with your index finger.  
„Ive already done this before and could breathe perfectly“ He comment while guiding his hand over your nipples again.  
You are humming and kissing him „I don't like to hear that other women have touched you before. Next time I make sure that he is a virgin, because that jealousy thing pisses me off“ Your voice is sweet as honey. He just looks at you and and pulls his lips together. „Keep on talking Mrs. Anal...“ he says and you both laugh.   
„Now hurry up and get on my face“ you are kissing him one last time and kneels over his face.  
„Im still not sure if Im going to like it“ as answer you feel how he licks his tounge from the bottom to the top.  
You startle a little but have to moan. He sucks your clit and you presses your cunt against his mouth. His hands rest on you tights and moves you up and down.  
You are watching his boxers. He seems to be rockhard, you lean forward and pull his boxers down.  
„Fuck“ you moan as he sucks your clit again. The tip of his cock is full of precome.  
You are starting to rub the base of his cock, while your tounge runs over his tip to make sure that you swollow every drop of his precome.  
You can feel his heavy breath agains your pussy.  
As you start sucking his cock he needs to take a break. „God you are so good in it“ he mumbles .  
He starts kissing you again and you are moaning around his cock. You can feel your pussy soak is tounge with your juice.  
You need to start moving your hips on his face, while rubbing his cock. Osamu shoves his tounge inside you entrance.  
You need more and lifts your hips up and you pulls your dripping vagina over his chest until you reach his cock.  
Osamu put his hand on your back as you line him up to your entrance. As you shove him the whole way inside. You both need to moan.  
You start moving your hips up and down, you know he is able to watch his cock sliding in and out your cunt.  
You throw your head back. „You are looking incredible hot like these“ he breathes.   
You rest your hands on his thighs and move faster.   
Everything feels so wet and you hear the sound of wet skin everytime you push yourself down to his base. You are hearing his hot breathes und you would love to see his face.   
Suddenly Osamu comes up to kiss your back until he reaches your ear. „Its so hot to see my cock is getting wetter everytime you push down.“he whispers. „But I need you closer“ He pulls you down so that you lie on his stomach. His cock still in your pussy.  
He starts to move his hips and bite your neck.  
You moans become louder. His hand reach down to touch your clit. „You are so fucking wet, I can feel it on my cock and my fingers, you are so hot“  
His moves with his fingers and his hips becomes faster and harder.   
You are going to come this way. His cock hits spots in you that makes you yell his name.   
„Im coming“ you gasp. „Me too, and I want to feel it. You coming all over my cock.“  
One last deep thruts and you legs are trembling and you moaning his name as loud as you can. The orgasm is hard and makes your whole body shiffer. He graps your hips and rides out his own release. He cries out your name and you can feel his whole body shiffer as you did before as he fills your cunt with his cum.

You are breathless. You let yourself fall next to him and he grabs your hand. You both catching breath and are not able to talk.  
You are lying there, just hold each others hands.  
„I'm slowly getting better at having orgasms“ you tell him breathing hard.  
He humms and rest his head against your shoulder to press a kiss on it.  
„I noticed it“ his voice is low. „Are you tired?“ you ask.   
„Yeah this orgasm was incredible“ he smiles tired.  
„Sex with you is incredible“ youre smiling as you cover you both with the blanket.


	11. Chapter 11

Its christmas eve and you were cooking in dinner in your kitchen. You spent the day with watching christmas movies.  
Osamu asks you if you want to go out with him but you rather stay home. He will come to you later to have dinner together with Atsumu.  
Youre cooking your traditional christams dinner. You put some christmas lights in your windows, although it isnt common in Japan.  
But you like the light, it makes the dark time agreeable to you.  
As it knocks on your door you can already here them arguing. As you answer the door you are smiling at them „ Merry Christmas ,you are coming with the perfect christmas mood“.   
You are hugging Atsumu first who tells you that he researched informations about christmas in your homecountry so he would be super prepared. You are smiling and it makes you a little bit nervous.  
Than you are hugging Osamu who looks at you with these eyes of love and makes you blush.   
He kisses you deeply and smiles. „Thanks for letting us be your guests“ he strokes your cheek and kisses you again.  
„Im leaving in 4h as soon as Im out of the door you both are allowed to make out the whole night“ Atsumu acts theatrical.  
„Shut your mouth“ Osamu says unimpressed.  
„You are leaving us?“ You ask a little surprised. Atsumu grins and set himself on the chair next to you. „Im going to meet a hot chick later.“   
„A hot chick“ you dont like the way he talks about girls. As if he would win a prize as soon as he managed to put his penis in her. You sight.  
„What?“ The way Atsumu ask makes your shiffer.   
„Its not my buissness. But you are a nice person, I like you and I dont like much people. But maybe you should give those girls a chance for more than only your penis in her vagina. But in the end its not my buisness.“  
Your buisness named Osamu and is about to look into your pots. „Looks interessing“ he just said. „Yeah you can help me!“   
At the moment you are spending so much time together that the cooking in the evening became some kind auf ritual.  
You both are joking around and its working out very well and every now and then you kiss.

Atsumu clears his throat. You both are turning around. He takes a sip of his beer and watches you.  
„Well its not my buisness, but you both are obviously, completely in love. Maybe you should think about a way you could stay together. You invest your energy in dealing with it that its going to end, maybe you should invest it in a plan how it could work.“ He crosses his arms behind his head.  
Osamu says nothing just grabs your hand. You are smiling at Atsumu. „Thank you for thinking about us, but first food“

While having dinner you are talking about christmas and thats important for you because your mother loved christmas.   
„Its quiet tough, I called my father today and I saw that he is sad. I felt guilty because Im not able to be there.“ you sight and takes a huge sip of your wine.  
Osamu gets the hint, he knows that you are thinking about everything and mostly against you.  
„You shouldnt feel guilty about the fact that you thought of yourself once. You manged the life of your family for almost a year“ Atsumu agrees in Osamus words. Its rare to see , so you believe them.

„Has he already ask you?“ Atsumu became hyped and grabs his can. „Shut your fucking mouth Sumu“ Osamu gets nervous. And that makes you nervous,too.  
„Yes I thought something like that“ Atsumu notice. „You need to come to our family to celebrate the new year“  
You are watching Atsumu and turns your head to watch with wrinkled forehead Osamu. „ I know you both are going to be there, Im staying home, eating much and watching Tv.“  
Osamu clears his throat. „Listen“... He says your name in a polite tone.  
„ It turns out that my parents would like to meet you, and I would be happy if iyou would go with me.“  
„Osamu, Im not good in meeting parents. And Im going to leave you in less than 8 month. And you promised that I wont need to do that“  
You notice how your voice sounds angrier than you are. Osamu looks at his hands guilty he knows you are right.  
„Well I know, but SOMEONE told my mother about you and so she started to beg and I told her I would ask you....anyway I can not force you“ He looks at Atsumu and has a sad expression on his face. You cant stand it, it breaks your heart. You take a deep breath.  
„Okay. I´ll go with you“ You dont like it but it seems to be important for him.  
He stares at you disbelieving. „Really? You are the best“ He stands up and hugs you. No I'm just too nice, you think to yourself and smiles politely.

After dinnering and some talking Atsumu leaves to his date. Osamu and you settels down at you bed with wine and something to eat.   
You both are leaning against the wall and enjoying the music in the backround.   
„You dont need to do it“ he says after a while.  
There he is, Osamu is so anxious that you feel comfortable.   
You still don't like the idea of spending 3 - 4 days with strangers. It is also difficult for you to dub something like that. „You are right I dont feel comfortable with this situtation. Its seems to be important for you, so its important for me too. And you are going to be by my side, so it wont be that bad. I'm not an expert there, but I think that's how a relationship works.“ you shurg your shoulders.  
„Thank you“ he whispers and goes in for a kiss. You are just kissing each other for a long time. You sight „ We are definitely one of those couples I dont like, but Im really suprised about the fact that kissing is so much fun.“  
Osamu looks at you like he's thinking.  
After your lecture in the restaurant, you didn't really talk about feelings anymore. Nothing really needs to be said.  
You notice how he looks at you and that the moment you wake up next to him makes him happy.   
You trust him and he trusts you. You make a decision.  
„Ive a present for you.“ youre telling him with a mysterious voice. He raises his eyebrow. „Ive told you that I dont need one“

You walking to the kitchen and comes back with a key in you hand. „ Well it isnt a real present you cant keep it forever. But I want you to have it“ You hand out the key and he is looking at it.   
„Dont look that doubtfully. Its just the frontdoor key.“ you are stroking his hair and meet his lips.  
There are also practical reasons. During the Christmas season you often performed. Osamu often had to wait for you at your front door.  
„I have nothing for you“ he admits and seems unsure.  
„Thats not true, you make me smile everyday Im allowed to be with you. And I have a request. I want another Tattoo written in Kanji. Maybe you could write something. When Im back home, I wanna have it under the skind of my back. Then I have something from you that doesn't go away and I remember something“  
He is thinking about your suggestion „What do you want to remember?“  
You voice got quieter and you hug a pillow. „That Im a loveable person and its possible to like me and maybe I should trust a little bit more in myself“ you are smiling unsure but hyped about your idea.  
His eyes are watching you and you are unsure whether your request is appropriate. You are takeing a huge sip of your wine.  
„Yeah maybe you should“ he said and drinks his wine.

Okay, apparently he has no more to tell. In a long turn realtionship , it would bother you that he just can't speak out some things he doesnt like. But its going to end someday so you accept it.  
Unfortunately the feeling of getting pissed raised inside you.  
„You can also just leave it, and Im going to ask Atsumu. Im sure he is going to do it without acting weird“ you empty your glass and smile politely.  
„Yeah maybe you should“ he huffs. Okay you could freak out now. But you dont wanna. It was a bad idea to ask him and so you finish the topic.   
You are turning on the TV and searching for a good movie. You choose `the reader` and sattles down on the bed again far enough away that he can't hug you. It is difficult for you to endure this situation. You'd rather run away and cry somewhere.  
You pour yourself another glass of wine and grabs the potato chips. Eating calms you down a bit.  
And so you are sitting there in the dark watching a 15 years old guy falling in love with an older women. You rode that book back in school. You were very concerned about the question of guilt at this time.

You would like to continue to discuss with Osamu, but you know that there is no point since he would not answer. He just stares at the screen and playing with his fingers.  
You slide a little closer to him. „Does they really think their love could work?“ Osamu asks after a while.  
„Do you think its real love? Or do they end up using each other for their needs?“ you counter.  
Silence again.   
He slides a little closer to you.  
You hand him the wine bottle. Osamu fills his glas and you keep watching the screen.  
„They loved each other for a short time“ he says and takes a sip of his wine.  
„Its possible, Im not good in loving someone a short time. If I love someone, it won't go away after a short time.It's so hard for me to fall in love, and falling out of love is much harder. It is therefore difficult for me to understand,“ You shurg your shoulders.  
Its your turn to slide closer to him.  
„Its the same to me.... “ Osamu says in his thoughts.  
What a weird situation. You don't know what to say anymore. So you drink your wine and think about the film. And how that should go on with your tattoo. You really would like that. But it seems that Osamu doesn't want that. You might ask Yuri, although that would be a shame. The film is almost over you both were still sitting next to each other. You just take a sip of your wine as you hear him whispering  
„I love you“   
You are leaning your head against his shoulder. „I love you too“. Now it's spoken. And the feeling of happieness and sadness spreads in your chest.  
He takes your hand. „Its not that I dont like the idea of the tattoo. It´s tearing up my heart that you need to do this to remember me. At the moment I would like to dream about you beeing my wife someday or having a baby with you. You are so perfect for me. You made me love you in such a short time.“ You are faceing him.  
„This love feels so different, although I know it will end in pain, I want to be with you every minute. Because Im with someone I can trust, so I want you under my skin. Because I cant be your wife or the mother of your child. But I think a part of me will love you forever, the first man who really cares of me and showed me how much fun it is to kiss each other over and over again.“  
You are watching him closely and you put his hand under your shirt.  
„Osamu, please touch me now“ You couldnt finish your line as Osamus lips meet yours.  
It doesn't take a long time for you both to be naked. He kisses your body all over, his hands slide over your skin as if it were incredibly precious .  
He leaves wet spots on the skin of you neck. You spreat your legs so that he can lie in between. You can feel his harden cock against your thights.  
It's not that he touches you a lot, he hugs you more. You feel him line up against your entrance. As he slides in he looks you in your eyes. You are able to see the love he feels. He moves slowly and youre closing your legs around his waist. Your moans are interrupted by your kisses.  
He grabs your hand to hold it. His moves goes faster and his kisses become sloppy. As he comes he moans into your ear. He kisses you again. „I love you“ he breathes. It has not been the wildest sex of your life now. Still, you will probably always remember this night.

You feel uncomfortable when you stand at the train station with the twins. Atsumu is in good mood as always and Osamu seems to be nervous.  
Sometimes your moods seem to scare him a little. In his case, you are even gentle.   
While waiting for the train you lean your head against Osamus chest. „Your mother is going to hate me“ you mumble.  
Atsumu looks at you and laughs "Why is that important to you? He has to like you! All in all you dont have to fear anything. My mother is the best, sometime just a little special.“  
Osamu hits his shoulder and your face becomes sad „Dumbass, dont raise her up to punsh her down again.“  
„Atsumu, do you really don't care whether people like you or not?“ you asks.  
He shurgs his shoulders and watches you sharpe.  
„What does it do for me if as many people as possible like me? I have to like myself.“  
You sight.   
You know he is right but you dont really like yourself, so maybe thats the start of you problem. You think of something and open your jacket.  
„Have a look it this, do you think its okay?“ You look expectantly at the faces of the two.  
Atsumu raises his eyebrow. „ You looks completely normal“. „Its perfect“ Osamu interrups his brother. You are not convinced.   
„Im going to buy coffee“ you are nervous as hell.   
You don't think coffee is the solution, but you can at least do something. As you move away from the two, you hear Osamu yelling at his brother that he should be quiet as long as he cant say something to make you feel better.  
You have to calm down, a mother will notice when her child is stressed and if Osamu arrives annoyed she will know that you are the reason. You are buying 3 cofee and going back to smile at your boyfriend.   
You both slept just 3 hours the last night.  
The reason for it is simple, you told him that you wont have sex at his parents house. So you both fucked almost the whole night. In the end, Osamu complained that his balls hurted when he came. But that didn't stop him from pushing his cock into you in the shower this morning. Three days is a long time....

The trainride to Hyogo takes 2h. The train is full of people and that stresses you even more.   
You are resting your head against Osamus chest „Relax, babygirl“ he mumble. „Nothing worse is going to happen. I'll be by your side no matter what other people think of you“ he whispers in your hair.  
„I feel so guilty for stressing you out“ you whisper back. „I can't control it, it just happens“. You hate this feeling of beeing guilty in your chest.  
You are feeling Osamus lips on the top of your head. „I learned how you are. Just take my hand when it's no longer okay for you. I keep an eye on you.“ You exhale and smell his scent.  
From the corner of your eye you can see Atsumu watching you.  
Osamu has become your pillar. And you enjoy getting involved with him.  
Unfortunately the train ride ends faster than expected. „My back is sweating“ you say louder than you want.   
Osamu squeezes your hand. You put on your polite smile and also hope that it works for women who know that their son is pushing his penis into you.

It is their father who picked you up from the train station. He is nice but men usually like you. He is clearly glad to see his sons again.   
You are sitting on a backseat of a car and dying inside. Osamu holds your hand and is nervous too. That makes you evan more nervous. It is a doom-loop.  
„Please tell me immediately if I do something wrong" you whisper as you step out of the car.  
He holds you back until Atsumu and his father goes into the house.  
„Hey, Im here with you, you are not alone and you can be sure that I will still love you in three days. And my father already likes you“  
„Men are not the problem“ you tell him bitterly.  
He rubs your back and kisses you. You can feel his tounge against your lips and carefully you open your mouth, just to hear Osamus mother who stands in front of you both clearing her throat.

„Maybe you should greet your mother first“ she says with cool voice.  
Your head is burning. „This is the End“ youre thinking to yourself and turn on your polite smile.  
Your back no longer sweats, it runs.  
You are watching Osamu who hugs his mother and kisses her cheek. She smiles and seems to be happy to see him.  
He introduces you and you do your best not to vomit.

He guides you into the house and you all are having tea. You are not able to talk. Just smile. Osamu sits on the other side of the table that makes you even more nervous.  
Thankfully Atsumu is talking all the time. And after an hour with a painful smile on your face you bring the things into the room.  
His mother explains that she put a futon in the boys' room for you. She still asks if that's okay. After the first 30 seconds of your meeting, you would also sleep in the kitchen without comment if she asks for it.

At least his father is trying to speak English to you. His mother speaks Japanese consistently, although Osamu told you that she speaks English very well.  
As soon as the door closed behind you, you fall down on the futon and breath heavy. Atsumu and espeacially Osamu look at you confused and with sorrow.  
„It didn't go that bad“ commented Atsumu.   
You sit up with widen eyes. „Maybe you haven't noticed yet, but your mother got to know me when your brother put his tongue in my mouth " you almost beeing frantic.  
Atsumu laughs load. „I wanted to see her face so badly“  
Osamu sits next to you and hugs you. „Maybe it wasnt the best start. But please relax. You are a nice peron and she is going to like you.“   
You sight.   
You can only hope that he is right.   
You were resting a little bit. Later in the afternoon, Osamu asks if you want to go for a walk with him. You agree happely. 

You feel really liberated and you already laugh a lot more relaxed when you put on your jackets. He laughs broadly when you put your hat on. „You look so cute with it“ he laughs.   
You huff. „Nah I'm everything but cute“  
He watches you as he puts on his shoes. „Yes you are right, you are beautiful and I don't argue with you about it either".  
You roll your eyes and blushes. You're not good at getting compliments. As you turn around you spy his mother sitting on the kitchen table and watching you.  
Oh you can´t wait to go home again.  
But it makes Osamu happy that you are here, so you are happy too.   
You finally do it for him and he does a lot for you.   
You keep this telling yourself like a mantra.

You go down the street and you start to feel normal again. „I'm sorry“you say quietly. „I try to be relaxed, but somehow I don't succeed.“  
Osamu putes your arm around your shoulder and smiles at you.  
„To be honest I'm very proud of you. I know you hate that. Get to know people and also be with them in the same house over night. My father thinks you interesting.“he holds you close as if it were a great success.   
„Your father isnt the problem“ youre telling him for maybe the 4th time.  
He lowers his eyes and seems to be considering what to say now  
„Okay Im telling you the truth but please dont freak out.  
My mother liked my ex-girlfriend very much. The two got along well. And she was very sad that we broke up.“ he sight.   
You put his arm around his waist.   
„I'm sorry I didn't tell you that before, but I was afraid that you wouldn't come with me. I wanted you to see all of this, where I come from, how I grew up. That was important to me. I know that you are doing this only for me and therefore I am very grateful ."   
You think about his words. It is important to him that you know where he comes from. That's a nice feeling. Nevertheless, this ex-girlfriend is a topic again. Who is she? Supergirl?

You sigh annoyed and roll your eyes. Osamu looks at you questioningly.  
„Okay, I have to do something that I really didn't want to do because I hate it. But I have to know.  
Who is you ex-girlfriend?“ you ask.  
„I could tell you her name, but that wouldn't help you much“ he says with a strange tone in his voice.   
Oh poor, small, naive Osamu, with her name you would have worked through all social media within a day and you would already know their relatives, exboyfriends and friends. But you wont tell it, so you smile politely and starts at the bottom.  
„Am I allowed to see a photo?“ You pray that he has no photo on his cell phone, but you will be disappointed.   
He takes his cell phone out of his pocket and searches through his gallery. You watch his face closely, you will notice every emotion, every smile.  
Fortunately, you don't see anything that gets you upset.   
He shows you a photo. You do a duckface and nod in appreciation.  
She is similar to the actress from the film „the geisha“. Your stomach contracts slightly. She doesn't even look unappealing. Now you've seen a picture of her and it actually doesn't get you anywhere. Without the feeling of beeing not enough. How do you want to compete with such a beauty?

You learn that she does the same work as Osamus' mother and that they were a couple for almost two years.   
„Two years“ you mumble. You feeling jelouse.   
Osamu hugs you tight and kisses the top of your head. „I haven't been as happy with her in these whole two years as I was with you in the past 3 months“ you hug him and he hugs you. Your head is on his chest.  
You let the topic rest.   
He shows you his old school and places he likes and you are enjoying to listen what he´s telling you.  
When you can see the house again, you turn to Osamu and kiss him.“Thanks for bringing me here“ you say and kissing him again. Then you put distance between your bodies  
"No kissing in or in front of the house" you say with your forefinger.  
He laughs and kisses you on the top of your head as you go up the driveway. "You know I don't care"  
After the walk you are feeling much better.   
When you undress you see that Osamu's mother is cooking in the kitchen. You courageously go to her and ask  
"Can I help?"

It works quite well. It is very difficult for you to understand her accent. But you are friendly and when you make a joke she even laughs.  
Nevertheless, you have the feeling that she doesn't like you.   
At least you are doing it for Osamu you keep on trying to convince her of you.  
After everything is more or less finished, you go to Atsumu and Osamu s room, who are playing some video game and insulting each other.   
You sit down on a chair and watch the two of them. They remind you of your brother and you. Osamu briefly seeks your look.  
You smile at him and he goes back to insulting his brother.

In the evening you briefly discuss with Atsumu and Osamu, who is sleeping on the futon but you make it very clear that you are going to do it.

„Your hair looks interessting“ Atsumu comments the big knot on your head. You are laughing. „This is my secret bed look, only men with whom i spend the night are allowed to see me like this“ you are telling him while standing benathe his bed.  
He raises an eyebrow and wanted to say something as Osamu interrups him „Don't you dare flirt with my girlfriend“.  
Surprisingly, you would have liked to talk to him a little. You don't want to call it flirting.  
You are turning around and notice that Osamu isnt wearing a shirt. 

Your guiding him to a chair and sits him down and you on his lap and lean down to his ear. „Dont be jealouse, you are so incredible hot that I wont flirt with your brother.“ your are kissing him and you can feel his smile against your lips.   
Atsumu clears is troat. „Well I dont wanna distrub you, but Im his identical twin so Im hot as him.“  
You turning around and grins at him „ There are definitely differences“.   
He huffs.  
„Yeah Im even hotter. By the way I can also leave you alone for 5 minutes, then you can have sex and I sit in the living room for 5 minutes. Im sure Osamu will not need more time“

You smile provocatively and cover Osamus mouth with your hand.  
„Yes you are right , but that only happens when I suck his cock. But I would clearly prefer him to fuck me really hard rightnow. But we would need more than half an hour for it. I'm always terribly loud too.  
And your mother is like a bloodhound, she would notice that immediately. And you know I'm still compared to the incredibly great ex-girlfriend. We'd better not risk it. So thank you for the offer, but we need to have manners.“  
Atsumu lays his head on the pillow. "You are a terrible couple, I have to sleep now"  
Osamu smiles at you and kisses you „There is no competition“ he whispers. „Oh it is“ you answer and kiss him one last time.

You do not sleep well, you are constantly awake and hear noises or the unknown breathing of Atsumu. You are simply an absolute disaster when it comes to habits.   
And you are in a phase of your cycle where you could have sex all day.   
You would love to touch yourself but you don't dare.  
You look at the dark ceiling. And hear the sleep breathing of Atsumu and Osamu.

You are good at controlling your breathing. „Fuck off“ you are thinking to yourself.  
So you slide your hand into your pants. And starts touching you.   
Your thoughts goes back to the last morning. Where Osamu pressed you against the wall in the shower to fuck you while the water ran over your body. You were graping his hair and closed your legs behind his waist.  
You breathe through your nose and press your lips together.   
Since you know how to handle yourself, you don't need long. You can already notice how the muscles in your body contract.  
Suddenly you notice Osamu getting out of bed. You pull the blanket over your mouth and exhale quietly.  
It seems like he's looking over at you. Slowly you pull your fingers away from your clitoris.   
He comes to you quietly and takes your wrist and pulls you into his bed.  
He pulls his blanket over your heads and searches for your ear  
"I know what you're doing," he whispers as quietly as he can, looking for your right hand. You notice how he runs his tongue over your fingers.

"Turn around, I'll finish it" You follow his instruction.  
You feel his hand as it runs in your pants.   
As sonn as he feels how wet you are you notice how he grins on your neck.   
His fingertips starts to rub your clit. You draw your breath in sharply.   
So he puts his other hand on your mouth.   
His movements are getting faster. You put your leg over his waist.  
You notice how your muscles contract. The heat under the blanket is unbearable.  
In addition, you can hardly breathe under his hand.  
You notice how his palms get sweaty. Your legs start to tense and you notice how the waves of orgasm flick your body.  
You hold your breath.   
You notice Osamus lips as they leave silent kisses on your neck.  
You breathe slowly and concentrated when you come down from your height.  
His hand is still covering your mouth.   
He kisses your neck.  
You feel his hard cock on your butt as he pulls his hand away from your pussy and sucks his fingers dry.   
He searches your ear again and whispers „You are so naughty and you are mine“. Y  
ou turn around and face him „thank you“ you whispering and kiss him.   
You want to crawl back on your futon when he holds you by the hip "Stay! I missed you" he mumbles against your neck.  
It doesn't take long and you fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

When you open your eyes in the morning, the first thing you see is Atsumu looking upside down at you. He grins nastily and whispers, "You two are like cute little puppies. Didn't you stand it 30 cm apart?"  
You grin tiredly. You feel how Osamu has drawn you close. "Yeah you are right, we are a disgusting couple" you sight.   
„Shut your mouths“ Osamu mumbles behind you.  
Atsumu falls onto the floor from above. "You don't have to be embarrassed Samu. I'm going to take a shower.“   
Without another word he leaves the room.  
Osamu yawns and kisses your neck carefully. „Slept well babygirl?“ he asks with husky voice.  
Well you sleep in a bed that was built for one person with two people. You fear that your muscles are going to kill you as soon as you get up.  
You turn around and face him. „Well more or less.“ He grabs your hands and clasps them with his.  
He laughs. "You just let me do things." You look at him questioningly. Then you understand and grin innocently.  
„Well, you wanted that. I was fine on my own." His hands wander under your shirt and caress your hip. You know exactly where his journey should go.  
His tracks on your body get bigger as soon as he touches your breasts. You breathe out lightly. „You know we are not able to have some fun“  
He looks at you almost tearfully. „Atsumu is definitely 20 minutes away.“ he cries.  
„Your mother is behind this wall and the walls here are thin“ you explain to him and notice how he runs his thumb over your nipples.

He presses his hard cock against your thigh. "I promise Im going to do the things you like" he begs.  
„So so, the things I like. What do you think I like?“ You say as you slide your hand into his pants and start rubbing his hard cock.  
He exhales gratefully and opens his eyes and looks at you. „You like it when I put your nipples in my mouth and pull my teeth on it" he grins  
He's right. You generally like it when it hurts a little.  
You pull up your shirt and let him see your tits. He runs his lips over your nipples and sucks. You moan lightly.   
"And you like it when you are allowed to fuck me from behind. When I kneel in front of you"  
He bites your nipples slightly and you have to interrupt your movements on his cock.  
„Thats true, but I like to fuck you in every way, so please let me fuck you“ he keep on kissing your breasts.  
You are still not sure if this is such a good idea. But your pussy is dripping for lust. You turn around and pull your pants down a bit. You feeling him searching your entrance with his cock.  
"Slowly and no noise" you say quietly.   
Slowly he pushes his cock into your wet pussy.  
"You're always so wet for my dick" he breathes out and starts moving slowly. You have to concentrate not to moan. The feeling of his cock in your pussy makes you shiver.

It takes less than two minutes when there is a knock on the door. You practically fly on your futon, pull your pants up and see how Osamu covers himself again.

His mother is standing in the door and says good morning.  
"She does it on purpose" you think to yourself and feel like you're getting angry.  
His mother supposedly just wanted to know if you, as a western person, also eat Japanese breakfast.  
You feel completely screwed. But laughs nice and thank her for thinking about you. You tell her that you are adapting very much.

When she closes the door again, you could start crying.  
Instead, you hug your pillow and try not to show anything. You have got into the habit of telling Osamu everything, but you do not want to tell him that his mother is annoying you and that you are starting to dislike her. You always wonder what you're doing wrong.  
You are nice, friendly, actually have good manners and you do not stink. You sight deeply and falls back into the pillow. „Would it be okay for you to jerk off in the shower?“you ask in a firm voice.  
The day has just started and you are already tired again.  
You run your hands through your face and look at the ceiling and try desperately not to hate this woman. Or do not start crying  
....Just 2 days left...  
You just want to sit up laughing again when Osamu interrupts you. "Should I talk to her?"  
You huff. „About what?“

That his mother dislikes you and gives you the feeling that she is a racist. Maybe that would be a good idea. On the other hand, you see this woman for two more days and then never again.

„You are annoyed“ Osamu notice.  
That was the starting signal, your emotions are ready to boil over. You feel so uncomfortable  
„Honestly Osamu, so am I. But it does not help if we now stress at a point where everyone here knows, that I will soon be gone and they no longer have to deal with me.  
I will be gone in 8 months and then she can do everything whats possible to get your ex-girlfriend back. I just feel so small. I try to get along with your mother.  
I am nice and always offer my help. I try to speak in my horrible Japanese to her because that's a matter of respect for me, but I can't do more.  
I just have the feeling that I am in competition with a person Ive never met before. She is not even here "   
Atsumu opens the door to the room. You take your shower things and get up.  
"Okay, she's here in your mother's head and on your cell phone. But there is no reason to talk to your mother and create any problems that will resolve on their own. I'll be gone in 8 months and you always need a plan B. I'm very happy right now and I don't want to lose you now. But of course I know that it has to go on. So you do it right if you give yourself a chance...“  
„Shut up“ His voice sounds angry.  
You look at him and laugh bitterly. "OK"  
You walk past Atsumu to take a shower.

As you stand in the shower, you regret what you said. You shouldn't have accused him of his ex-girlfriend. Although you actually accuse his mother of that.  
You are sure that he loves you. You come to the conclusion to apologize. And offer to go home.  
You go back to the room where you only find Atsumu. You smile at him and sit back on your futon and look at your smartphone. "Where's Osamu?" you ask casually.  
„Out for a run and my parents are shopping for breakfast“  
Great! You could have just had sex with Osamu in the shower, but instead you argued with him because you are jealous.

"I think I missed the mark a bit" you sight.  
He laughs. „Yeah you did. But he could have just told you some things before.“  
„Maybe I'm not so right about that. He said he wanted me to see everything here. And I idiot take my anger out on him. So you do it right if you give yourself a chance“  
Atsumu sights.   
„Okay, I'll tell you something now. I don't like his ex-girlfriend. She was pretty and not that stupid. But she only took advantage of him. And when she didn't need him anymore, she only called him when she wanted something. As soon as she was here with my parents she was the nicest person in the world and my mother was already planning their wedding. She didn't see how Osamu suffered.“

You sit there and you don't know what to say. You feel bad without knowing that.. And knowing that Osamu suffered before you doesn't make it any better.  
"When you came to this party, he already saw you when you came into the room. He had looked at you so that at some point I asked him if he knew you. And he just said" The girl is special ". 

„And I thought to myself „Yes she obviously a foreigner.“ Atsumu smiles bright.  
You need to laugh too but feeling more guilty.  
„You know for sure that Osamu is the most unexpressive person.“ he continues.  
You know that for sure and it's probably one of the things you love the most about him. That he's so different from you on an emotional level.

„It's been different since the evening you were sitting on this couch. He laughs. He cares about you and you are always an issue. He is happy. I would even say that he loves you, but of course I do not know it for sure.“ He shurgs his shoulders.

„I told my mother about you because I wanted her to see it. That she sees how happy he can be.   
You two are really a good team. Osamu is incredibly relaxed by your side.“  
You are getting cold but you don't want to interrupt him. You think about his words and you realize how stupid you behaved.  
Atsumu continues.  
"My mother will understand and accept it. It's just a shame to see that you are up to something that will happen in 8 months. I still think you have to find a solution.“ He jumps off his bed.  
"So now I've interfered enough in your business." He hugs you.   
The door opens and Osamu stands in front of you.

Atsumu lets you go.  
You smile at Osamu "I'm glad you're not your mother".  
Osamu smiles at you and pulls you against your chest. "It's snowing"  
He knows you love snow.  
"I'm sorry, I was stupid and jealous," you whisper.   
„You are jealous, but sometimes I do not explain enough to you“ he whispers back and kisses the top of your head.  
Atsumu clears his throat. "I should have a look at the snow in the garden. For about 20 minutes I think. If someone comes back I'll throw something against the window."  
And you see him walking away.

You are unsure what to do now in front of Osamu. You should actually be talking. So you start with a deep breathe "I love you and that's why I'm such a disaster....“

He kisses you stormily. Open your bathrobe and push yourself against the desk.  
Clenching teeth, circling tounge and wheezing fill the air.   
You pulling his shirt over his head just to meet his lips again.   
He is so incredibly sexy. His hands wander up your body and squeeses your breast, he kisses the skin just above your navel and goes up to your chin.   
„You don't even know how beautiful you are“ he breathes.  
And kisses you again. He grabs your buttocks and pulls you to the edge of the desk   
You put your hands around his neck and he pulls his pants down. His cocks springs free, hard and stiff and full of precum.  
You will never get tire of seeing how much you excite him. You never have a problem that he is not hard or what ever you have already experienced with other boys before.  
He has to push his cock down to look for your entrance. He runs his tip over your clit. You groan. Finally he gets in.  
You see in his face and the intermittent breathing how much he enjoys penetrating you.  
You open your legs even more. „Fuck you are so fucking tight“ he hisses and starts thurtsting into your soaking cunt.  
You lean back and support yourself. Each thrust in you makes you breast bounce.  
He squeezes your them and kisses them first, then your lips.  
You slide backwards and bump your head. You scream a little.  
He pulls you towards him "carefully" he laughs in a whisper.  
He grips your hips and increases the pace.  
You scream and lean back again. Pens and other stuff falls to the floor. "Harder" you beg. And he fucks you harder.  
Sweat burns down his forehead. He grabs your neck with one hand and presses his lips against yours.  
You notice how he lifts you up, and you need to clasp his waist with your legs.  
He presses you against the wall and you notice his teeth on your neck. As soon as he stops he pushes his cock further into your dripping pussy.  
He turns around. When you notice that he wants to go to the futon, you loosen your legs. You stand on the ground and his cock slides out of you.  
You lie down and he kneels between your legs. He takes your left leg and puts it over your shoulder. Almost demanding, he shoves his cock back into your pussy.  
He keeps pushing his tongue into your mouth.  
As he presses your leg against your shoulder, he clutches you with both arms. You see pleasure in his face. He has closed his eyes and opened his mouth and you only hear his panting.  
His rhythm gets faster and he pushes your leg back almost painfully. With a loud moan, he fills your pussy with his sperm.  
The sweat sticks to your bodies. He is breathing heavily on you and clutching your leg.  
"That was good," he gasps and lets himself fall next to you.

When you wanted to make your apology in your head. Do you hear something flying against the window.  
You take a deep breath and sit up. "They are back, we have to clean up here" you almost yell with panik in your voice.  
You get up and look for something in the room with which you can clean yourself.  
You notice how the mixture of your juices run down your thighs.  
He watches you wipe your thighs and pussy.  
"It's incredibly hot"  
You grin it is so funny that sometimes he doesn't dare to ask things directly. „Next time I'll let you see.“  
He grins at you. "Hey .... I love you too"  
It's still unusual for you to hear something like that. You throw him his pants. "Get dressed when your mother sees the chaos here ..." You don't finish the sentence. Start putting on your clothes and clearing up the mess.

The breakfast is surprisingly harmonious. Maybe it's because you don't really listen to the conversations. In your head you play the sex again and again through which Osamu and you had this morning. You need to grin. It was so passionate. You watch him as he follows the conversations at the table, expressionless and calm. That exactly this man groaning loudly on you makes you grin.  
He looks at you and you raise your eyebrows and he has to laugh too.

You thanks politely for the Japanese breakfast and decide to ask Osamu if he will walk with you in the snow.  
You've loved snow since you can think. Large flakes fall and you run laughing in front of Osamu. You turn to him "If I marry then I want to marry in winter".  
"So? I always thought that weddings in spring or summer are more in demand" he says almost thoughtfully.  
"Yes, but I rarely want what everyone wants. In addition, I don't have to look at the weather in winter because it will be bad. Unless I'm lucky and it's snowing." You laugh broadly and turn around yourself.  
He tilts his head. "Yes, that makes sense," he says with a grin.  
You spread your arms questioningly "Yes, but who knows if I will ever get married at all. I don't think I fit so well into the marriage institution. There must be an incredibly great man around the corner"   
You want to turn around and go on. He grips your wrist and pulls you to kiss you.  
You put a hand on his neck and greedily press your lips on his.  
"I'm sorry about the argument this morning. I didn't want to make your ex-girlfriend a topic." you say quietly and feel guilty.  
"The subject brought up my mother. She is not fair to you."  
He takes a deep breath and caresses your back.  
"But you weren't fair to me either. You asked me for a photo."  
"I know I'm sorry I was so jealous"you are feeling so stupid.

He takes your hand and you two go on.  
"You seem incredibly tense here too. I would love to help you, but I don't know how."   
You stop and grin. "It worked quite well this morning."  
Osamu grins too and nods in agreement.  
"I'm trying to please her. You know I never want to stress with people. They should find me nice and then leave me alone. But that doesn't work here. I have decided to accept that for now." You shrug your shoulders.  
"Just don't forget I'm on your side," he says, putting his arm around your shoulder.

It is the last day of the year.  
You knew that New Year is a special festival in Japan.  
In preparation for your visit you dealt with the traditions of this festival.  
Almost all of them are practiced in the Miya house.

After dinner, you stand in the kitchen with Osamu's mother and do the dishes.  
You have eaten too much. Osamu made sure that there is white wine in the house. You're just not used to someone being so worried about you.  
You are thinking about sending your family a few more greetings in the old year when Osamu's mother broke the pleasant silence.  
"I have rarely seen my son so happy"she says in English, deliberately making it sound casual.  
You breathe through counting to 3 and answer "That's nice to hear“. You already know that English is not a good sign at this point.  
She clears away a few plates. "He's really looking at you with eyes of love"  
You are looking for words that could be replied to without provoking anything. But she goes on.  
„How should this continue?“ she asks as casual as before.  
Inside you grin an absolutely hideous grin. Outside you are showing the normal polite one.  
You know where the journey is going.  
"We'll have great 8 months together" you try to sound casual as she does.  
You have been drying the same glass for about 5 minutes and continue trying to stay nice.  
„And you think it's so easy?“ she asks and it sounds almost sarcastic. „I am a mother. And you make me watch my son getting desperete. Osamu is very sensitive.“

If you hate one thing thatn it is when people tell you how other people work. You are able to find out even after a short time. You don't want to argue with her. Still you understand her concern.  
„I'm sorry, I'm really sorry I can't stay here. I also have a family at home and they need me.“ you sigh unconsciously.  
"I understand, but then why don't you go to a love hotel with him every now and then and don't miss him the chance to be really happy in the long run. He had such a nice girlfriend.  
In addition, I think if you really would like him like he thinks you do you would stay here. "

You laugh bitterly. Every now and then in a Love Hotel....What does she think?.... Okay... now you have to be clear.  
„Osamu is over 20 years old. I think he's mature enough to decide for himself.  
Osamu knows that as soon as he finds a better woman, he has to leave me. I'm sorry I'm not like this ex-girlfriend.  
I'm really trying, I'm trying to make you like me. Apparently that is not possible.“   
You think for a moment about what you are about to tell and you have to make every effort to remain calm.  
"I don't want to tell you about my personal problems. I'm just as happy as possibile. The last time I felt like that ...I dont know I think I was a child. Of course I thought about staying here. But we only know each other for 4 months. At home I have one father, one brother and a 93 year old grandpa. Since the death of my mother I have had a lot of responsibility there. So that I don't break down, they gave me 1 year off to ber here and I can't leave them alone. I'm not going to ask Osamu to come with me because his life is here.   
At the moment he is my pillar. Maybe you find me selfish. I am somehow. I also know that it ends in pain. Osamu knows that too.  
I'm sorry that you see it all that way. But you forget something. Not only Osamu will be hurt, it will hurt me too. As soon as Osamu asks me to leave him alone, I promise to let him go. But as long as he wants me in his life, I will stay. "

You smile again politely. Your words were well chosen. She says nothing more and seems to be thinking.  
You apologize and leave the kitchen.  
You run on the stairs in Osamu. You mumble a "Sorry" and go on. While he goes into the kitchen. Did he hear anything? You don't think so..

You sit on a chair in the boys' room and type a message to your father. There is a knock on the door and his mother comes in.  
She hugs you without a word.  
You don't like any of these pitiful hugs but you consider them a success. She drops onto the chair next to you. She apologizes. Then she asks you the usual questions about your mother's death. During the conversation you recognize many characteristics that you saw in Osamu before.   
„Take care of Osamu when I'm gone.“ You sigh, it is so stressful to talk about this topic again and again, when you are so happy.  
She hugs you again and then leaves the room.

You look out of the window and look into the starry sky. It doesn't take long for Osamu to enter the room. Without a noise, you know he's there.  
He hugs your hip and puts his head on your shoulder.  
He weighs you slowly back and forth and watches the starry sky with you.   
"Looks like you defeated the dragon," he whispers.  
You point to the starry sky. "That was the dead mother, people usually have pity," you explain.  
"I heard what you said. I'm incredibly proud of you." He kisses your temple.   
„Its almost midnight“ you say.  
"You are my pillar too" he says and goes in for an incredible kiss.  
You are smiling at him. "We need to go down“


	13. Chapter 13

You look nervously in the mirror and run your way through your hair.  
You are planning something big.  
Osamu and you have been a couple for 6 months. Your relationship has become more routine.  
The first days of love are gone and its getting more seriouse and you have more disagreements about basic things in your life. But in the end you are happy and spend almost every night together.  
You are also getting better at reading each other and he gives you an incredible amount of security.

It's February 14th.  
Out of courtesy, Osamu asked you if you wanted to go out with him.  
At your glance, he knew that you didn't want to sit in a restaurant with 100 other couples.  
So you make an appointment to eat together and watch movies.  
Which is pretty much the common code for sex.  
However, you came up with something special.

In your bedroom you have placed every candle you own.  
You showered, shaved carefully and put on your make-up. You wear your bathrobe and nothing underneath.  
He'll get you naked today, right at the start. It's still difficult for you to be naked but he guided you through your complex so well. By now you have understood that he finds you incredibly sexy.

That’s not all you came up with. You reach into the bathrobe pocket and pull out the handcuffs.  
You are not sure if it is a good idea. Whether he likes it or thinks it's exaggerated. Whether he would prefer you in underwear or whether he would prefer to be naked.  
You jump nervously from one foot to the other. You try again if the key fits in the handcuffs.  
You stand behind the curtain in your kitchen and wait. You have to make sure that he is alone and there is no Atsumu with him who wants to dust off a meal again before he meets any girl.

There he is. Alone. You run into your bedroom and throw your bathrobe in some corner. Jump on the bed. Attach the handcuff to your left wrist, then to the bedpost, and finally to your right wrist. Your heart beats wildly. You have to calm your breath. While you hear the key in the door are you thinking about how to position your legs.   
You bend one and leave the other straight.  
You feel stupid but at the same time you are extremely excited.  
Osamu calls your name.  
He will be there soon and you have to do your best not to smile stupidly.  
Your lips - he likes your lips. Therefore they must not smile stupidly.  
Self-confidence!  
That is what you have to be now!  
You bend your back a little and stretch out your chest.

He follows the candles and sees you at the end. You can't read his expression straight away.  
He says nothing for a long time. And you feel like you did something wrong. You are already thinking about how best to apologize now.

„This is definitely a sight that I will never forget.“ He says in a husky voice. He comes to bed and takes off his jacket. He wears a fancy shirt underneath.  
He dressed up for you. You have to smile.  
„ You made yourself beautiful for me ...“ you are telling him.   
He unbuttons his shirt and blushes.  
"Yes but you .. sorry I have no words .... nobody has done anything like that for me before ... do you wear handcuffs?"“  
He looks at you in disbelief.  
You shrug your shoulders more or less.  
He says your name a rough tone.  
„It is so difficult for me not to push my cock right into your pussy.“ he explains to you rather soberly.  
You grin „ You could do it, it's all yours and as you can see I can't defend myself much.“  
He looks at you and it looks like something is coming to his mind. „ Sorry I forget it“ he leans down to kiss you.   
„AND no, we will not have rough sex as usual. If I have a chance to have you like this in front of me, I want to enjoy everything.  
What do you always call it?“  
"Teenagersex – short and with a lot of spit“ you sight.

He grins evil, runs your legs up with his fingertips and slides on the bed. He seems to be thinking about what to do now.  
He opens your legs and sits in between.  
"I try not to be short and I can't promise that with the little spit." he says while stroking your legs. „Sorry Im just so overhelmed“ he says with a smile than he is getting seriouse again. „Please tell me as soon as Im going to do something you dont like.“  
His fear of hurting you is always there.  
He certainly knows that this situation is actually really bad for you. You have a huge problem in trusting people.  
Tying yourself to a bed is also something you have never done for someone.  
The fear that something happens that you cannot control doesn't actually let you relax. You take a deep breath „Well Osamu, Im able to trust you. You can do what you want with me.  
If you want something a little more unusual, just let me know that I can prepare for it.“  
He laughs. „You are lying naked with handcuffs in front of me. That's unusual.“

He kisses your lips softly and trails up your arms with his hands. Up to your wrists. It's like he is checking how tight the handcuffs are.  
He starts kissing your neck. Leave wet spots on it. You can feel his tounge running over your skin. His hands are already on your titts. He runs his hands over your ribs and up again. He sucks hard on your neck and the slight pain makes you gasp and you push him towards your pelvis. He trails with his tounge over your chin a trail down to your breasts.  
His hair tickles your chin. You watch him suck on your right nipple. The feeling makes you groan. This fact makes him put his lips around your nipple again.  
Instead of sucking again, he bites into it this time. That makes you scream. Your legs twitch and you can feel the wetness of your pussy. You can feel how hard he is through the fabric of his underpants.   
„Touch me“ you gasps and arches your back. He smiles while kissing you. „Oh I will - but not yet“.

Oh that teasing bastard. You love to see how much he enjoys it. He goes to your other nipple   
You can feel his lips against this sensitiv part of your body, his tounge is running over this little sensitiv spot. And he is doing it again. He sucks hard und makes you cry his name.  
He is doing it again and again. Your nipple almost hurts. You need more that bastard needs to touch you.  
„Osamu please touch me“ you beg with needy voice.  
He smiles at you. „Im already touching you“ he says and guide is tounge over your shoulder. You sigh impatiently. The feeling of his drying spit on your skin makes you shiver.  
He kisses your neck. If you could you would make him fuck you. But you are not able to touch anything of him. So you need to be patient.   
Finally he makes his lips go down, kisses the skin between your breasts, you navel and your thights. You see him goes down on his stormatch and settles between your legs.  
He is watching your pussy with greed in his eyes.  
Runs your fingers over your labia. You have to moan under this light touch. "You are already so wet for me." he breathes out.

You are getting impatient. You stretch your hips towards him. He laughs darkly.  
He covers every part of your pussy with soft kisses. You call his name in an impatient tone. Finally he shows some mercy.  
You breathe thankfully as he parts your lips and runs his tounge through your slit.  
He sucks every drop of your juice. He breathes hard and curls his tounge along your walls. You need to move your hips.  
His hands drive up to your breasts. He pinches your nipples as the same time he sucks your clit hard. The feeling of pain and joy at the same time makes you almost yell his name. Your body temples hard. „Please fuck me now“ you beg. He moans against your cunt while smiling evil.  
You pull on your handcuffs when he starts to push two fingers into your pussy.  
The feeling of how your walls are stretched drives you insane. You need more. But begging doesn't help. You have to try something else.  
„Osamu, I know you wanna fuck me. I know you love the feeling to shove your cock into my dripping pussy. Its dripping just for you“ Your voice trembles even though you try to sound as little excited as possible.   
He laughs and looks for your look. "You want to be fucked?" he asks and climbs up to you. When he kisses you, you notice that his chin is wet from your juice.  
You slow down the movements of your lips. "Just you. I want to be fucked by you. Just you“ he kisses you again.   
"Then I should fulfill your wish" he says while turning down his pants. His cock springs free and hitting his stormach. You bite your lower lip. You have such an incredibly hot boyfriend. He knows that you are thinking this way.   
He searches for your entrance and finally he pushes in.   
In his face you can see the satisfaction that you have noticed a few times before.

However, you don't have time to indulge in memories. His first thurts almost shakes your bed.  
You pull the handcuffs and wriggle under him  
You want to touch im so badly. Touch is neck and his hair. He fucks you so hard and demanding. His balls claps against your skin. He murmurs things and moans in your ear.   
The noises fill the whole room. „ You need to turn around“ he gaps while turn you on your stormatch.

You weren't prepared for it. A pain that comes from your wrists runs through your body.   
He is over you again. Runs his hands over your back.With his thighs he presses your legs together as hard as he can. You notice how he drives his cock over your ass and you are not quite sure what he is going to do now.  
At the moment when you want to raise your head questioningly. He gasps. "I'm going to your cunt" and he starts pressing his cock through your thighs into your pussy.   
The way he fucks you now, feels nice. You cant stop moaning.   
„You are so fucking tight like this“ he mumbles over you. His moves becomes faster and his moans louder.   
He reduces his pace and you feel the weight of his upper body on you. His mouth is right next to your ear and you can hear every phase of your orgasm. The load grown as he spills into your pussy, the words he says at his height. And the sigh when he has to pull himself out of you.  
He drops down next to you.  
You try to turn on your back. Your wrists hurt and your arms become lame.  
You moan as you turn around. He catches his breath. And kisses you. „Where is the key?“ he asks breathless.  
You feel a little cold because you are not sure at the moment.  
"I think I left it in the kitchen." you say uncertainly  
"I'm going to check quickly," he says, and walks away.  
When he's gone for a while you get a little scared.  
You are just imagining how the fire brigade enters your bedroom to cut you off the bed when Osamu finally comes back.  
"I didn't find him right away," he admits. Then sit on the bed and free your wrists.  
You slowly pull your arms down. When it comes to the mega sexy things, nobody tells how they actually hurt.

You rub your wrists and Osamu pulls you up. "Let me hug you. Thanks you are incredible that you did this for me means a lot to me" He takes your face in both hands and kisses you.  
„Osamu I need to drink something. I don't think I've ever groaned so much.“  
He laughs and searches for his clothes. „That was incredibly hot, I can't get over it“   
You need to grin.Seeing him that way doesn't matter the pain on the wrist.

When you come into the kitchen there are flowers on the table. You look at him uncertainly "Didn't I say I don't want flowers?"  
He shrugs. "I disagree"  
Violette callas -  
you are not sure but when you told him that these were your favorite flowers, it must have been one of your first meetings. Such sweet nothings are a shot to your heart.  
But you have to smile. The flowers are incredibly beautiful.

"I said I don't support this day," you say as coolly as possible.  
„If I had an infinite number of them with you now“ ... he laughs bitterly.  
You kiss him And whispers a "thank you".  
You avoid the topic that everything takes place only once.

You make a tea and decide to order pizza.  
Since the delivery takes more than an hour, you sit together at the kitchen table.  
Osamu flips through a newspaper and you watch him.  
Everything has become so normal. A fact that you enjoy a lot. Osamu is part of your life. Even the best part at the moment.  
"I have to tell you something." he says very dramatically  
Even if he puts it very dramatically, you assume that it can be endured.  
"We have an invitation!" he says and grins  
„Yeah?“ you asks listlessly.You expect to be invited to a student party. But he surprises you "My cousin gets married in May and my mother insists that you come with me“  
"I do not have anything to wear." you apologize. Even if the last few days were okay with his mother, you don't want to go to parties with her.  
He grins broadly. And leans over the table to kiss you. You don't return the kiss but stare at it with open eyes.  
"I knew you would love this idea," he whispers.  
You look at the flowers. You really only mentioned once that these are your favorite flowers. He left in February and bought it for you.  
You sigh. "I still do not have anything to wear"   
He laughs widely. „Then we go shopping“  
You raise your eyebrows doubtfully "Have you ever looked at the bodies of Japanese women and my body?"  
His look is very questioning. You sigh. „I have a lot more here.“ You touch your shoulders and your breasts. "Even my butt is huge compared to most women here"

"We'll find something." he says optimistically.  
He gets up and kisses the top of your head "For me you are the most beautiful"  
You stand up and put you arms around his neck. „Thank you for being with me the last 6 month“

He takes your wrists and looks at them "Fuck, you have worn them too long. It must have hurt"  
You sight "Honestly it hurts more when the fabric rubs over my nipples." You point to the sores on your wrists. "I loved doing this for you. And Yuri will love hearing the story."


	14. Chapter 14

It is spring. And the dreary of winter disappears. You find yourself in a shopping center with Osamu.  
You two have had an intense time in the past few weeks. If you have problems, you will find a solution together. You discuss things that burden you together. You feel in good hands like never before in your life.  
However, buying a dress presents you with an unexpected challenge.  
There are a lot of people, the air is hot and consumed and you have dressed too warm. All in all you dying inside.

"Can't we just cancel that?" you ask annoyed  
"Can't you stop complaining??" he asks you just so annoyed. You huff and draw the curtain of the chaning cabin.  
"You had two dresses on and you looked beautiful." You notice in his voice that he have to pull hisself together to stay calm.  
"Honey, I had breasts like a porn star in these two clothes." It makes you so angry. Everything about this situation makes you angry. You feel ugly and don't like your body and you have all these complexes again that you actually had under control thanks to Osamu.  
A green silk dress is your last hope. but already when you pull it over your waist you notice that it won't work.  
You cannot prevent it. Tears come to your eyes. You are feeling so incredibly wrong.  
Osamu calls your name.  
"Not now" you say with a firm voice.  
He speaks your name in a sharp tone. "I´ve slowy enough. I can't do anything for the clothing industry here," he says, pulling the curtain away. You startle and wipe your face.  
„Hey why are you crying?“ he asks and closes the curtain behind him. He tries to hug you but you turn away.  
You just can't stand that.  
"Don't hug me you're mad at me and rightly so I'm such terrible person at the moment" you sigh.  
"I just don't know what you want me to do." he admits.  
"I feel so ugly, nothing fits. I just hate my breasts and my butt and everything" You put your head back, annoyed

He grins his mouth.  
"Come here“ he hugs you and put is chin on your shoulder „I hope you know that I think you are beautiful. I love the things that you don't like most the most. Well accept all the other things I like "  
You let him hug you again. He runs his hands over your bare back. You let go of the dress and press yourself firmly against his chest.  
So you're just crying in your underwear in a changing cabin in a shopping center full of people. And let your boyfriend hug you who has to endure your mood.  
He is still your pillar.  
As he starts kissing you, you know he wants more. So he goes quickly down to your neck, your cheeks and your lips. He goes down to your breasts and kisses your nipples over the fabric of your bra.  
"What are you doing?" you ask with a slight moan.  
"Show you how beautiful you are," he says, pulling you in front of his chest. He turns you to the mirror.  
You notice how he easily puts your panties to your side.  
You see in the mirror how he unbuttons his pants and starts stroking his cock while kissing your neck.  
You get nervouse as you notice how he searches for your entrance with his cock.  
He slowly pushes in.  
"Fuck everything is full of people here" you whisper and have to suppress a moan.  
He breathes in your ear. "Otherwise you don't care about that."  
He starts to push his cock in and out again and again. He touches your breasts and breathing in your ear.  
"Look at this woman in the mirror. How beautiful she is. And how beautiful she looks when I push my cock into her."  
You lean against his shoulder and spread your legs a little more.  
Osamu's hand goes between your legs and begins to circle your clit. „Fuck“ you moan.  
You can hear loud voices going past the cabin outside. The idea that someone could hear something and come in makes you crazy.  
You notice how Osamus strikes faster and his movements around your clit goes harder.  
He holds you tight against his chest. You watch this beautiful man in the mirror who leans against you, with his eyes closed and enjoys the feelings that you are able to give him.

At some point you cant hold yourself longer and lean forward to support yourself by the mirror. He grips your hips and you are able too see in the mirror how difficult it is for him to hold back his orgasm.  
Your breath becomes water at the mirror. Its so hard to controll your moans his cock touches the point inside your pussy, which makes you crazy.  
He slows down and starts kissing your spine.

"As much as I would to finish this, I would leave a mess between your legs. And we will find a dress for my beautiful girl that will make her beauty shine"  
If you weren't emotionally so unstable and if it weren't his penis in your vagina, you would have laughed out loud.  
So these are wonderful things he says. You are turning around and stroking his face. „I love you“ you are whispering and he leans down for a kiss.  
After you got dressed again and things went down at Osamu. You leave the cabin laughing.  
In another shop you find a dress that suits you very well. So you go to this wedding with a better feeling than before.

The weather, the stress and the new passion of Osamu and you having sex in all possible places are reasons for the fact you got sick just shortly before the wedding date.  
Unfortunately, you don't have time to be sick. You have to go to university, work and music.

One day when your voice threatens to fail you sit with Yuri in the cafeteria.  
Yuri looks at you reproachfully. "You need a doctor," she keeps saying.  
"I'm not sick," you keep saying.  
She says your name almost angrily. "You once told me that your voice is your capital. And so it breaks"  
You put your head on the table top. "But I don't want to see a doctor, I don't understand him anyway".  
Yuri looks at you cheerfully. "I could accompany you if you like".  
"If I´d go Osamu has to go with me," you say rather casually.  
But you notice right away that this was not a good answer. Yuri's eyes narrow and she presses her lips together.  
Yes, I thought so."She hisses to you.  
"Yuri, I'm sorry, don't get it wrong. But he's something like my pillar"  
Silence.  
"Somehow there is only Osamu for you. When was the last time we did it something alone?"  
You need to think hard when it was the last time.  
She is already throwing things into her bag.  
"Right, I also don't remember anymore. Because Osamu is always with you or you have something to do with Osamu. Don't get it wrong, I'm happy for your luck, but I have this one year with you too."  
Before you can say anything. For example, the Taro has a big place in her life,too.  
She looks at you again and says "Go to a doctor!" and then she disappeared.  
You have no strength to run after her.  
You decide to go home. You haven't seen Osamu for 2 days. And Yuri is not wrong. In those two days you could have done something with Yuri, for example. Now you not only feel physically bad, the emotionally the guilt is back again.  
You go home and let yourself fall into your bed. You pull the blanket over your head and just realize it's a shitty day.  
You fall asleep in your thoughts.  
When you wake up again, you smell that someone is cooking in your kitchen. There's a tea next to your bed.  
You get up and see Osamu as expected.  
He shines when he sees you. "Hey why didn't you tell me that you are sick?" he says and hugs you.  
He kisses the top of your head.  
You try to say something but only croaky sounds come from your throat.  
He runs his hand over your forehead. "I think you have a fever and I also think we should really go to a doctor" There is concern in his voice.  
You just don't have the power to discuss, your throat hurts. And it feels like every gland in your body is swollen.  
So you agree.

As expected, you only understand half of what the doctor tells you.You get medicine and Osamu explains everything to you.  
At home you eat the soup that Osamu has cooked for you. Due the medication you are feeling better soon.“

Osamu looks at you with a grin and takes your hand.  
"My mother asks if you would sing at the wedding"  
You frown "The wedding is in 9 days".  
He looks embarrassed at you. "Yes, the original singer canceled. And my mother thought you would be happy. Of course you will be paid for it."  
You look at him, you dont think its a good idea. But as long as your voice is working again, of course you do.  
Now that your mother likes you - at least a little bit.  
"I don't want money for it" you say. He grabs your hand and kisses it.  
"You have to pay, bills so they can give you money"  
You roll your eyes.

So you contine eating your soup without a comment and smiles at him.  
How did you know that I was sick? I didn't write it to you because you just have so much to do and have to learn. "  
"You are more important" he says and you roll your eyes again.

Quickly you are feeling well again and spent the week prescribed by the doctor in bed, mostly with Osamu. You allow him to listen to the wedding rehearsal. Sometimes still naked on the piano and he naked on the bed.  
It is an intimacy that you have never felt before.

On the day of the wedding, you even visit the hairdresser before Osamu, Atsumu and you make your way there.  
You rented a car because you have to carry all your stuff with you.  
Due to the heavy traffic you are really late. Osamu's mother explains that the trains in Japan are always in time.  
You laugh politely and it is Osamu who explains to her that if she wants music you need instruments.  
As soon as the door of the hotel room behind you is closed. Do you draw Osamu to you and kiss him long and deeply.  
"What was that for?" he almost certainly asks. "You fought for me," you laugh.  
"I would do much more for you," he says and kisses you again. His hands are looking for the way under your sweater.  
You take his hands in yours "We don't have time" you mumble against his lips.  
"I hate it, if you're right," he mumbles back and sighs.  
You pull your sweater over your head and turn to him and laugh.  
"But I promise, if we come back later we will make it really dirty."  
He laughs.

When you've finished getting dressed, you can see Osamu's eyes. "You're disgustingly in love," you rave at him.  
He shrugs. And crossed his arms behind his back. "Well I just thought it was rude to be more beautiful than the bride"  
You play a laugh and blush.  
"Take my arm you can lead me to the altar today" you say gently.  
He sighs.

The whole wedding was nice. It had a lot of western style. Your singing went quite well. Even so good that Osamus' mother brags about you in front of other guests.  
Quite a success. Everyone seems to see it that way, except your boyfriend.

Osamu is more interested in getting drunk all day. And prefers to talk to other girls than to you.  
Atsumu keeps you company and explains you the differences between good sake and bad.  
„Everything okay?“ asks Atsumu after a while  
„Yes definitely. I just think I shouldn't drink that much. I think I have to help Osamu up the stairs a little bit today.“  
You laugh a little unsure. Osamu is actually the more disciplined of you two.

As if on cue, Osamu is coming towards you. With him he has a tender girl.  
Its difficult to understand him.  
"This beautiful, talented woman is my girlfriend.“ He gives you a drunken kiss.  
„Could you confirm that you will leave me in 3.5 months and then I will have time to get to know her better? " he stutters  
It hits your stomach. You press your lips together.  
Anyway, you are always the one who tells Osamu that he shouldn't completely exclude other girls. In the ende you didn't imagine that you would play the wingman for him.  
You laugh politely and introduce yourself to the girl and confirm what Osamu said.  
The girl just laughs stupidly.  
And that's exactly how you feel now. Stupid.

The girl suggests that we all drink something together. You thankfully decline just like Atsumu.  
Osamu and his acquaintance go to the bar.  
Without a word you take Atsumu's sake and drink it in one go.  
You close your eyes and take a deep breath. Then you put your smile back on and try to cover up the tears that come into your eyes.  
"So that's a good sake?" you asks Atsumu.  
He looks at you uncertainly.  
You say "Its fine" to him again. "It's only 3 months left, I´m telling him it's okay. So I have to act this way too"  
Atsumu still looks at you wordlessly.  
"Atsumu, if Osamu wants to sleep with her today and I can't go to my room if you don't want to take anyone with you. Can I sleep with you then?“ You notice how your voice gets a little hysterical.  
Still no words. But you can see pity in his eyes.  
„I think I'm looking at the garden outside. You can think about it, if it doesn't work then I will find something.“  
You feel sick.  
In the garden there are an incredible number of lights. It looks nice. You sit on a bench under a tree and watch the people.  
You wanna go home. No to be honest you wanna go in your hotelroom and hug Osamu as tightly as you can.  
The idea that he bangs this girl tonight. You have no words for what that triggers in you.  
You notice how the tears run down your cheeks.  
A mug appears next to you and Atsumu sits on the bench.  
He has loosened his tie.  
"He won't have sex with her." Atsumu says.  
"Yes I know" without another word you pour the contents of the glass into yourself. 

You two talk a little bit about trivial things when you hear a splash.  
"Osamu" you whisper as you jump up and run towards the pond.  
Your boyfriend sits a little disoriented in the water, without thinking you go to him .  
The water is cold. Like the air in May. You kneel next to him and stroke his face.  
"We'd better go to bed." You whisper softly.  
He answers something that sounds like "I was looking for you"  
You smile at him and pull him up to you and pull him out of the water.

Atsumu is already waiting on the edge and supports his brother on the other side. Together you manage to bring Osamu into the room.  
You put him to the bathroom floor, thank Atsumu and take off your wet dress.  
When you go to the bathroom you notice that Osamu is not only wet but has vomited in the meantime.  
You sight.  
It is difficult to pull the dirty clothes off his body.  
After all, you can do it and even manage to put him underpants back on.  
He's breathing heavily with his head over the toilet bowl.  
You get him a blanket and cover him with it and let yourself fall next to the toilet. While stroking his hair you are humming a melody.  
"I love you so much," he murmurs against the toilet seat at some point.  
You see tears running down his face. Which makes you cry too. You pull his head on your lap. "I know, I love you too," you whisper.  
"Please don't leave me. I'll marry you if you want to"  
he says tiredly. Just seconds later you hear his sleeping breathe.  
".... if that were the solution, I would do it immediately" you whisper in a choked voice. Then you press his head against your lap and cry.

You wake up as someone strokes your cheek.  
It is Osamu lying on your lap and caressing your face.  
"You are here." he says softly  
"Where else should I be," you say back.  
"We should go to bed," he says, and you agree.

When you lie in bed you only realize how cold you are.  
He hugs you from behind and you fall asleep.

You are awake some time before Osamu and are looking for water and painkillers for him.  
As expected, he opens his eyes accompanied by a painful moan.  
You lightly stroke his hair and kiss his forehead.  
"I think I have to apologize," he says quietly.  
You shake your head. "I always tell you to give other girls a chance. You did that. And when you needed me I could be there. That made me happy."  
For a while you keep stroking his hair and nothings said.

"Okay Im going to ask you that one time. I think I already know the answer but I have to ask it. Isn't there a way you can stay here? With me? If you need something long-term. I'm going to propose a marriage or we make a baby. I just need you. So isn't there a way you can stay here? "  
Tears come into his eyes as he speaks.  
Yes you need it too. Osamu is the most important thing in your life. But you have obligations, he knows that. So you shrug your shoulders and whisper a "Sorry".  
He pulls you on his chest and cries. The guilt weighs heavily on your chest.  
You kiss his tears away. "I would like to tell you something that makes things better. I think we're too young for a baby and have no money for ur. And getting married, I think it would be frustrating if you only see your spouse twice a year."  
You have never seen Osamu like this before.  
Usually you are the crying onr and he holds you.  
This time it's the other way around and you're a little overwhelmed. "I know. I just don't know how to love someone else after I loved you." he whispers.

You don't know that either. You have no idea how to get over him.  
But you cannot stay. Your father cannot permanently lose someone again so quickly after your mother dies.  
Osamu never asks if it would be possible to come with you. So you assume that this is not an option, and you don't know any more.

"Do you want to have breakfast?" you ask him gently.  
"After sinking all my food into the toilet yesterday, it would be a good idea"  
You have to smile a little.  
"Yes, it was very intense yesterday"  
He moans.  
„Oh God I need to apologizes. Did my parents see that?“ he asks with concern.  
"I don't think so. But I didn't pay attention to anyone when I saw you in the pond." You have to laugh.  
"I'm sorry you had to go through all of this." he grabs your hand.  
"Apologize to my dress," you say.  
You kiss his neck and go down to his collarbone.  
"Believe me as long as you are with me everything is ok." you whisper.


	15. Chapter 15

Something changed that evening. On the one hand because Osamu and you both have a lot to study a lot. On the other hand, Osamu seems more and more distracted. You know you are losing him.

It is the end of June and it is incredibly hot. The heat is bothering you. You are always tired.   
Something good happend, you more or less get along with Yuri again. Still, you don't manage to meet her. You just want to sleep or want spent with Osamu. Even something emotional changed.  
You also need the remaining energy you have to create one sexual highlight after another for Osamu.  
He got a lot of sex without much asking for it, Youve googeld even for new sex positions. You even offered him anal sex again. Just to keep you interesting somehow. You can't bear the thought of losing him. That's why you do everything that he has any reason to come to you.

Osamu and you made an appointment to eat.  
You cooked and made yourself beautiful.  
And now you're sitting at a set table and waiting. For almost an hour and staring at your cell phone.  
Nothing.  
You are feeling stuipid, you know it can't go on like this.   
You are in the situation again. You run after a boy who has obviously lost interest in you.  
But you know that he loves you. You can see that in the moments when he leaves his protective cover and is the man you love again.  
You put your head in both hands. You have headache.  
Finally you hear the key in the door.

Osamu comes in the door and gives you a short smile when he sees you. He kisses you on the cheek and puts his things to the bedroom. The times when he had to kiss you passionately before he could do anything else are over.  
"Sorry I'm late, I had something to do," he says, but it's more polite.  
You laugh at him gently at "No problem". You eat together. Osamu is busy looking at his cell phone.  
He looks at you shortly. "You look exhausted," he says. You are tired and exhausted. This situation hits you on the stomach. You have a stomachache and have to vomit every now and then. As you alwasys do in stressful situations.  
"Its the heat," you say.  
And the fact that you miss him. Every day. You know he's trying to get away from you. But he doesn't make it.  
And you can't either. You watch how he constantly writes with his people on his cell phone. You assume they're girls. But you can take it all because you love him.   
The sex you have is more for his satisfaction than as a sign of lust for the other.   
You are stressed during the whole act and Osamu doesn't seem to care much. Most of the time he sleeps as soon as he's done. Sometimes you lie awake and watch him. Sometimes you cry and sometimes you just look at him.

After eating you go straight to the bedroom. He kisses you gently. And you enjoy his lips on your skin. He takes off your shorts and runs his fingers through your pussy.  
You lean on his grip. But he pulls his hand away too quickly. You sight.  
„Be a good girl and get on your hands and knees for me“ he whispers.  
You do what he asked you to do.   
You run your fingers over the fabric of your bra and want to open it at the back. As he pulls you close to him "You don't need it. Everything is okay like that" You just take it that way.  
Without asking much he pushes himself into your entrance. You need to gasp. You are not that relaxed anymore, so you are not that wet as usual.   
His movements are demanding almost painful.  
Your hands cling to your sheats. His hands are tight around your hips.  
It has nothing to do with sex, where he took breaks to kiss you. Make sure that you are fine. He only uses your hole. And you allow that. Even though you're having sex with someone, you feel incredibly lonely.  
With each of his thurts, more tears come into your eyes.  
His moaning and your thrurts are getting violent. And you actually know that you made it right away.  
With each of his thurts, more tears come into your eyes.  
He his breathing hard into your neck and you actually know its over soon.  
But you can't take it anymore. It hurts so much. Your heart is bleeding.  
You slump on your bed crying and just whimper a "please stop".  
You instantly see the worry in his eyes that you have been missing for so long.  
„Did I hurt you?“ he asks with concern.

You can't stop crying.  
He's trying to hug you.  
"Don't touch me" is all you can say.  
"Osamu Im not able to do this anymore. I'm really doing my best here. For something that has been dead for some time. I really tried to see beyond all of this. The eternal writing with girls. That you hardly have time for me and we actually only eat and have sex together.  
Every time you are here I try to think of something new to be better. But I can't do it anymore. I don't want to lose you, but I already have.  
I feel like your whore and Im not sure if I deserve better, but it hurts so much.   
And I just can't go anymore, I'm exhausted.  
I love you so much, but it's just destroying us.“  
You curl up naked on the bed and hug your legs.

You are so in tears that you shiver all over.  
Osamu kneels in front of you and tears run down his cheeks. "I love you so much. But the fact that the woman I love so much keeps telling me that there is no way I can continue to love her is tearing me apart."  
You hug him tightly. You two are crying - probably as much as you haven't in a long time. Probably the last time as a child.  
You lie there until it is dark.  
You are totally exhausted from crying and hugging each other.  
He caresses your face and whispers "promise me that you'll never forget how beautiful you are   
\- inside and outside"   
With his words you have to cry again. You press your lips on his. His tongue hits your lips and you open your mouth. His kisses are getting more and more passionate.  
"I didn't want you to feel like a whore. You're my girl."

"Let me feel you," you whisper and put his hand between your legs.  
You sometimes wondered what it would be like. The last sex with Osamu. 

It is perfect justlike him. Affectionate, with lots of kisses. He holds your hand all the time.  
Take care of you. Kisses your breats just doing the things you love so much. And when he comes with shuttering hips into you he whispers how much he loves you.  
He remains for some time in which you kiss and cling to each other. You hold on as if you are waiting for the world to end.

It is after midnight when he gets dressed again. He tries to smile at you. It is difficult for you to stop crying. When you take him to the door, he stops at the kitchen table and puts your front door key on it.  
It tears your heart apart.  
You can't breathe properly.  
He hugs you one last time "Thanks for everything you've taught me and that you showed me what love means" he whispers.  
You look at him sadly.  
Then he is gone.  
You cringe behind the door, screaming in pain.  
This is the end.

The next two weeks are a nightmare. You are too weak to go to university, you still give private lessons but thats all. Its just possible for you to lie in your bed. Your whole body is messed up. You are vomitting all the time or screaming with internal pain. And the only person who could help you cannot do this. "  
You receive two messages from Yuri every day. But you are not able to anser.  
Atsumu also writes you now and then and thinks you both should have a beer together.  
You are very sorry, but you cannot see his face.  
It only got uncomfortable one night, as your neighbors knocked and asked if everything is okay. You cried so loud.  
You laugh as always and say you only saw a sad film. And apologize.

One morning you'll be woken by a strong knock on your door.  
You are not ready to visit. When there is another knock, you go groaning to the door.  
Yuri is waiting for you on the other side and doesn't look amused.  
"What are you doing here?" you ask sleepily.  
"I'm asking you! You've been choked by the earth for two weeks. Everyone is worried."  
You flatten your nose on the door frame. "If you don't preach to me about my order, you can come in." you say and step aside.

In your apartment there are sundaes, chip bags, packaging from fast food.  
You see in Yuri's face that it is difficult for her to leave the scenario uncommented.  
"I don't think you have fruits of something like that at home," she says with a sacral undertone.  
Triumphantly you hold up a bottle of wine. And secretly wonder that you haven't got drunk in the past two weeks.  
„But don't be afraid, I tend to vomit in stressful situations, so I'm throwing it all out again"  
you tell her with the same sacred undertone.  
And there is this feeling again that you need to vomit right away. So you apologize and go to the bathroom.  
„Im so sick of that“ you sight as you come back and searching for a glass of water.  
Yuri looks at you closely. "Have you had this for a long time?" ask her.  
"Since that got worse with Osamu ..." 

She says your name in a tone that makes you restless.  
"When was the last time you had your period?"  
You get cold. That's a good question.  
"Yuri, I just don't remember it anymore, but with all this stress it's normal that I don't get it."  
you start to justify yourself.  
"I also take the birth control pill regularly," you continue.

Yuri sighs.  
You sigh and think. Then you remember something and jump up and run into the bedroom.  
You get the packaging of the tablets that the doctor gave you.  
"Is that an antibiotic?" you ask Yuri almost panicked.  
Yuri looks at the packaging and then nods. "Yes it is, but that won't help you with stomach ailments"  
You get sick. But sick differently.  
You have to sit down. Your heart is beating wildly.  
"Yuri, antibiotics can make the pill ineffective"

Tears run down your face. It just shouldn't be. You're such an idiot. What did you think the doctor gave you? Dextrose?  
Yuri hugs you and strokes your hair. "I'll get you a test first and then we'll see what we do next"

When Yuri is gone you are sitting at the kitchen table and would like to call Osamu that he has to come.  
He would probably would do that but do you really wana have him with you and end up explaining that you are aborting his child?  
You wouldn't be able to do that through your heart. He has enough problems. That should remain yours, especially since he won't know.  
When Yuri knocks on the door again your heart almost stops.  
You let her in and she hands you the packaging with the test.  
You pee on the strip and you both sit on your bed and wait.

It feels like hours. When the window changes , Yuri looks for the answer.  
You already know the answer. It is actually clear.  
She looks at you seriously. "Okay, it's positive. But we are going to find a solution now"

You let yourself fall back on the bed. You are cried so empty that you don't even have any more tears.  
You sigh deeply and rest your hand on your forehead.  
"I need a doctor appointment and an abortion appointment"   
Yuri drops down next to you.  
"Isn't it an option for you to keep the baby?" she asks.  
You sigh. "I have no money for a baby and no time. My voice will change. And my baby's father lives far away"  
„Shit“ he says and graps your hand.  
"Thank you for being here." you say to Yuri and lean your head against her shoulder.

"I won't let you go to Osamu alone or to the doctor, we'll do it all together"  
she says firmly.  
"I can't tell Osamu. He has enough problems. And I messed that up, so I'm going to fix it myself. But please go to the doctor with me." you almost beg.

Yuri is really a sweetheart. She calls her gynecologist for you and somehow gets an appointment this week.  
You sit there two days later. Those were two terrible days. Now you know that you have something in you that shouldn't belong there. It is such a strange and frightening feeling.  
You sit in the waiting room with Yuri. This is how Marie-Antoinette must have felt on the way to the guilltoine.  
You are finally called.  
You lie on the chair tense as always. The doctor is very nice, he congratulates you to your pregnancy. And you laugh and announce that you want to abort. 

He laughs politely just like you and starts the investigation.  
"Everything looks good," he announces. And turns the screen to you.  
You look on the screen and ask what is going on there.  
"Heartbeat, I guess you're 8-9 weeks pregnant"  
"Heartbeat" you repeat and squeeze Yuri's hand.  
Your eyes are getting wet. There is something in you that has a heart. It is 50% of you and 50% of Osamu.  
Deep inside you know that you would never get over it if you aborted the baby.

You wash the tears from your eyes and ask the doctor if you can have a photo of it. You make a new appointment and leave the practice with Yuri.  
When you step out into the heat again, you put your hand on your mouth and almost scream  
„Oh my god Yuri, Im getting a baby“   
Yuri looks at you somewhat uncertainly.  
"Are you sure?"  
You exhale. " You saw it yourself ! It has a heart! I dont know how Im going to handle it but I'm over 20. I think my mother was at the same age as me when she got me. So yes, I'm going to have a baby."

You might be wise to speak. Unfortunately, you have no idea how to do it all.  
You invite Yuri for coffee. There is an incredible feeling chaos in you. You are happy on the one hand, then sad, then you are afraid. But you actually know that there is no other decision for you. 

Yuri stirs uncertainly in her cup.  
"You realize you have to tell him? I wouldn't have said anything about an abortion, but at least he should know that he has a child."  
The thought of seeing Osamu again scares you. You didn't even cry because of him today and that is a real success. But you also know that Yuri is right.  
"I know." And you really do. You don't expect anything from him. But you also know him so well that he definitely wants to know.  
Yuri still looks at you uncertainly.  
"I have to tell you something. I don't know if it's true, but I heard it.“  
"So? Bigger news than I have?" you raise your eyebrow and smile.

„Well somebody told me that Osamu is dating someone again" Yuri's voice sounds uncertain.  
It is a thing that makes your heart heavy again.  
You sigh. „ Wow he really didn't waste any time".  
You try to smile then shrug your shoulders. " But in the End that's the way it is"  
You don't even have to cry. It's kind of like you're dead inside. "Do you know who?" you ask quietly.  
„Unfortunately I do not know“ Yuri doesn't look convinced. She takes your hand and strokes it.  
„Listen, I will help you wherever I can. Even if abortion is still an option.“

You smile at her gratefully. "Thank you." You drink your coffee and search for words. "Since I saw these heart movements on the monitor, I would feel guilty of letting it go away. I can't. This is Osamu and me. If never had something like that what we had before. And in the End I think I can do it."

When you are at home you decide to clean up your apartment.  
You remember that you should be eating properly now.  
So you cook yourself something more or less healthy.  
As you stir in your pot, you remember that you don't just have to tell Osamu about it. You must also tell your father that you are having a baby. You sigh. He'll understand. You encourage yourself.

But you think you won't tell anyone before week 12.  
In Osamus case you're not even sure how to do it. If he really has a girlfriend or is dating someone. You dont want to break something for him.  
Couldn't you have found out 2 weeks before that you were pregnant? Then you could have talked to Osamu and you wouldn't have to show up.  
You sight. Life is a pain.  
At the beginning you need more information.

You take your cell phone in your hand and open Atsumus messenger window. "Are the rumors true?"  
You keep eating as your phone is ringing

Atsumu:

Guess who is back...

This is just unreal!  
So he's dating superwoman again. You are so mad at the idea that he wrote with his ex-girlfriend while he was lying in bed next to you. You are so mad you could cry.  
But you open the smartphone again and write:

Your mother must be very happy …

The answer doesn't take long

Atsumu:

Nobody is really happy …  
How are you? I was almost worried.

You don't want to talk to him about his brother and the problems you have as you write:

"Not happy either"

Atsumu:

We should go have a beer soon.

You sigh. „Well Atsumu, I will not drink that for a long time now“ you mumble to yourself.

But instead you write.

"I would be happy to see you soon.“


	16. Chapter 16

As stupid as the situation is. It motivates you in areas of life where you are actually very lazy.  
You work more to make money. You take life more seriouse somehow. Go to your lectures and register for the exams. You train your voice more and pay more attention to yourself. Try to walk a lot, eat a healthy diet, and have an appropriate rhythm of sleep.

You are 11 weeks pregnant. And you told your two best friends back home about it. After they have vigorously examined how you feel about it and whether you are really well.  
They are even happy somehow.  
At least you are thinking of taking one of them with you when the baby comes.  
In January ... You bury your face in both hands.   
What has not changed despite all your new order is that you miss Osamu. It is the first thing you think of in the morning and the last one before you fall asleep.  
You sit on your desk chair and drum on your desk with your pen.

Of course you haven't told him yet and still have to do it. However, you are afraid to see him again after 5 weeks And then to say "hey I'm pregnant and miss you and meanwhile I think it would be smart to find a way how it works. Oh? This is your new girlfriend, nice to meet her“ You lean your head back and laugh loudly and hysterically.  
This is absolutely crappy.

You settle down on you bed again. One fact which is also new is that your vagina is absolutely intense. And you know exactly why people get babies as long as they have a relationships. There is someone who is obliged to have sex with you.  
Unfortunately, you also have absolutely no time to masturbate because you are singing at a birthday party tonight.

Yuri and Taro will be here in less than half an hour to help you carry your things.  
You stand in front of the mirror in your underwear and stroke your belly.  
"You have actually grown," you say, looking at the little bump.  
However, this small bump really ensures that some items of clothing no longer fit.   
You put on a yellow dress and a dark blue jacket.  
While going through the song lyrics you need for this evening you are doing your make up.

Just as a precaution, you pack white grape juice which you´ve filled in a white wine bottle in your bag.  
You are a little paranoid when it comes to someone discovering your pregnancy.  
You don't want Osamu to experience it from anyone else than you. You sight.

You are singing almost every evening in some parks, restaurants or birthday parties.  
It is fun for you and it distracts you well. You are missing him.... 

Yuri and Taro are in love you are able to see it as soon as you answer the door.  
Yuri is pursuing her new favorite pastime - touching your baby bump. You are rolling your eyes and keep telling her that there wont be something new in less than 4 hours.

But in the End its like that: as funny as you are touching your belly more than usual. You are talking to it and lay your hand on it. You laugh and its just the beginning...

The host is a friend of Taro. You have almost been booked by Taro.  
Together you build your keyboard and mic, at least you are able to do do a little sound check.  
You mix your grape juice with water and watch with satisfaction how the guests arrive.  
Taro introduces Yuri to many people as his girlfriend. She finally seems happy and that makes you happy,too. She is so in love. 

You laugh almost carefree.  
The view you get is promiseing a good evening. Than you look at the door and look in the face of Osamu.  
Your stomach starts to hurt.  
Youre getting so nervous. Behind him, a beautiful girl enters the room the same you know from the pictures on his mobile. So its finally true. You are looking at the keys of your Keyboard.  
Now you just want to go home.  
But you put on your smile again and see that Atsumu is also here.  
In the End your gaze stays on Osamu. You haven't seen him in 5 weeks and your heart beats fast. You would like to just go there, put your arms around his neck and kiss him. You smile at him. Unfortunately he did not.  
Instead, he reaches for his girlfriend's hand.  
You take a deep breath and put your hand on your stomach. It's good that you are sitting on a chair, you can feel how dizzy you are. „Its going to be fine.“ you whispering to the „it“ in you.

Atsumu sees you and comes to you through the crowd. You pull your dress down and get up to hug him. "It's so nice to see you," he says, and you're sure he means it.  
"Thank you, I'm happy too," you say and hug him tight.  
"I would have liked to have saved you from that," he whispers.  
"That's just the way it is" you shrug your shoulders.

You were talking a bit and he promises to come back later.  
Yuri comes to you.  
"I'm sorry I didn't know they were coming ..."  
You shrug your shoulders again.  
"I have to see that sometime". You grin bitterly. "Sooo I'm going to pee again and then I'll start." you laugh and clap your hands.

When you pass the kitchen you hear two voices wildly discussing. "That woman there, got you out of a garden pond. When you were completely drunk and acted like an idiot she was still with you. And you can't even open your mouth and say hello?"  
It is Atsumus voice.   
"You have no idea," Osamu says listlessly.  
When his girlfriend comes into the kitchen, the conversation breaks off.  
While you come back from the toilet you wonder what Atsumu has no idea of. He's right.  
You sit behind the keyboard and start with your prepared program.

You are charming, funny and extremely entertaining.  
You book this experience under "professionalism"  
As soon as you are done with the program you go to the kitchen to get something to eat. Your baby wants meat or ice cream or at least it wants both. Everything without fish – it doesn't like fish it at all.

You go into the kitchen and see Osamu standing there. He loves eating at least as much as the baby does.   
You starring at his back and your thoughts go to the morning as you woke up next to him in the morning and you were starting your day with kissing his back. 

"I miss you" you sigh in your mother tongue. You are frightened that you said it out loud.  
He turns around and watches you. Exactly this moment his girlfriend enters the room. She goes to him and kisses him provocatively so you turn around to watch the food. And keep on breathing slowly.  
The two were talking a little beack and leaves the kitchen. But Osamu's eyes look for yours. You hold his gaze.

Atsumu enters the kitchen and looks at you questioningly.  
"It's like being shot," you say matter-of-factly and take a sip of your juice.  
Atsumu laughs. But apologize right away. In the end you have to laugh too. And then sighs. "Thank you for being on my side" you say quietly. He puts his arm around your shoulder. "Maybe you went with the wrong Miya. I wouldn't have let you go so easily. Osamu is just a coward."  
You pat him on his shoulders.  
"No Osamu is not a coward, I hurt him.  
And Sumu...you and I that would have been fine for two weeks. We would have fucked 2 weeks and it would be amazing sex and in the end we would have been annoyed by each other. And do you know why? "He shrugs.  
"Exacty! Because we are to smilliar to each other."  
You both laugh. 

It feels good that he's still so nice to you.  
You decide to look for Yuri. She stands in the middle of a group of people and has a lively conversation.  
You sight. Thats fine.  
Disturbing the situation is not a possibility.  
So you decide to go out to the garden. It is still warm, almost hot outside and you would like to take your jacket off.   
Unfortunately, your paranoia makes you think everyone will automatically see that you are pregnant.  
So you sweat and take a look at the garden.   
It is nice. "In a year I can definitely lay you on a meadow and you can feel grass." you whisper.   
"Well, Okay...However, there are beetles and other disgusting things, a you could put into your mouth" you continue your thoughts.  
„So we definitely need a blanket“ you say and caress your stomach and grin.

You enjoy the peace and look in the setting sun. You decide to drink up and go home. There is no point in telling the drunk Osamu about the baby. Especially when he doesn't want to talk to you and his girlfriend is here to protect him.  
You stop at a bench in front of a garden shed and sit down.  
The garden is huge by Japanese standards.  
You lean against the wall behind you and close your eyes. Being jealous, working and being nice to people is so exhausting. You take a deep breathe and close your hands in front of your belly.

The sun is losing strength. You are thinking of the things you are going to do later. You definitely should eat some ice cream at your doorstep as soon as you are home.  
You definitely deserve it. You didn't cry although the situation was humiliating and shit.

"I miss you too".  
You open your eyes and Osamu stands in front of you.

You are looking at him. He is drunk. But not as much as the time he falls into a pond.  
You close your eyes again.  
"Every single day since you left." you say quietly  
You breathe calmly through your nose. When you open your eyes again he is still standing there and looking at you.   
You get up slowly. As soon as you stand on your feet he rushes towards you and presses his lips on yours.   
Osamu pushes you into the garden shed and kicks the door behind you with your foot.  
While kissing your lips he puts you on a table. His passionate lips run all over your face. You are able to draw his scent into your nose, it feels like coming home after a long trip.  
Youre hands drive him through his hair as he starts kissing your neck.   
His hands touch your breasts, which are super sensitive at the moment.. You moan slightly and open your legs.  
With no dount he squeezes between your legs. Through the thin fabric of your panties you can feel how hard he already is in his jeans.  
With one hand you are still running him through his hair and with the other you are pushing him closer to you.  
He runs his hands over your bare thighs under your dress.  
Osamus lips are incessantly on yours. His hands stop just before your panties.  
He stops kissing you and catching your glance. You both are breathing heavely with open mouth.

It's like he's asking you what to do now.  
There is only one answer.  
You slide your tongue into his mouth again while you open his belt.  
He returns the kiss and pulls your panties down.  
You let it slide from your feet.  
He undones his underpants and jeans and leaves them to his ankles.  
Osamu pulls you to the edge of the table and runs his cock through your naked, dripping pussy. The feeling is so intense that you already have to moan.  
As soon as he finds your entrance he pushes himself in.   
With a deep sigh, he pushes your sensitive walls apart and you hold him tight. He searches your gaze again. Without a word you are gripping his hip and push him deeper inside you. It follows a kiss- a hungry kiss.   
The thurts which Osamu does are tender not hard or even demanding. It just tender and intimate. You have the feeling that with every thrust he does he try to push much deeper inside you.  
The hint you get let you bend your legs this way that your heels are on the table with legs spread wide.  
You are feeling so open like you never did before, he touches points in you which feels so so fucking good. It makes you moan.  
He presses your sensetiv walls apart. You put your head back and groan your lust out.  
"Shh...babygirl, you need to be quieter." he whispers. The call of your nickname, which was choosen by him makes you just more horny.  
"I ... cant ... that ... feels so ... good .." you are shuttering. He grins and try to kiss your breasts. You are super sensitiv at the moment there. So you are bringen his lips back to your face.  
He runs his tongue over your lower lip and then into your mouth. You moan in his mouth and run your hands through his hair.  
He pushes you harder. This push goes through your whole body. It almost makes you scream.  
Osamu covers your mouth with his hand and kissees your neck. You notice how he pulls in the skin over there.  
His hips thurts into yours more violently. You notice how your feelings go crazy.  
You are allowed to experience an orgasm like you have never experienced before. Osamu struggles to keep you on the table because your hips move so much. You scream your orasm into his hand and cling to his hair and the sweaty skin of his neck.

You press your legs tightly around his waist and it doesn't take long for him to follow you. He takes his hand from your mouth and covers it with his lips. He breathes the waves of his orgasm into your mouth. You notice how his sperm spills into you. He doesn't stop kissing you.   
You notice tears running down your cheek. You detach yourself from his lips.

You put your cheek on his and you are ablte to feel his tears too.  
The two of you hug and don't say anything. Your legs around his waist, with his softening cock inside you. No words needed just hugging each other and feeling each other's tears. You are as close as two people can be. But it's kind of lonely.

He is the one who separates from you.  
"That shouldn't have happened," he sighs while he pulls on his pants on again.

"I know," you say, looking for something to wipe the sperm out of you. But you remeber that you both need to talk about something.   
"Osamu can you come over tomorrow? I have to talk to you .. and I can't do it here on a ...." you look around .... "I can't discuss it on a table where I'm really suprised of the fact that I have no splinters in my ass ... "  
He needs to laugh. Situational comedy has always been one of your strengths and you believe that is one of the things he likes the most of you.  
He looks at you. And the gaze he give you makes you see that he still loves you.   
„Maybe there is a way we can do it....“ you whisper quietly. He is still thinking about something.

Since you want to go home anyway, you stand up and pull up your panties.  
You grin at him. "Can I go out like this?"   
Osamu is still looking seriouse but he comes to you and kisses you.  
You look him in the eye. "So are you coming to me tomorrow?" He nods and you need to leave the place where he cheated on his girlfriend with you.

You both go back to the house. Somebody is grilling fish somewhere. The baby hates fish.  
Just hoping you need to vomit.  
You two don't say a word Osamu takes a beer out of a fridge and hands out one to you.  
"I'm going straight home," you explain and shakes your head. He looks at you questionelly.  
You pause to interpret his look. You would like to hear that he wants to come with you. Instead, his gaze deviates from yours and he freezes.

A female voice calls his name. She comes to him and kisses him very dramatically.  
Inwardly you roll your eyes. But smile kindly.  
"I was looking for you," she says to Osamu. "But then Atsumu had a great chat with me." She laughs and you find it a bit stupid. She turns to you with a raised eyebrow "And who are you?"  
You introduce yourself to her and she says she has heard of you. And she demonstratively kisses Osamu again.  
The only thing that comforted you about the situation is that her boyfriend's sperm is running out of you.  
So you try to continue the smile and say goodbye.  
You put your music notes and keyboard together.  
"You shouldn't carry something like that anymore." Yuri screams more than telling you.  
You look around in panic and see Atsumu who apparently hasn't heard anything.  
„Yuri...“you hiss.  
Yuri raises his hands to apologize.  
She promises to bring your things over to your place with Taro tomorrow.

You say goodbye to both and go over to Atsumu. You are smiling at him and he returns his smile.  
"Have fun tonight" you say and hug him.  
"I talked to her for an hour, I hope you ve used the time," he says, and you can tell he's pretty drunk.  
You wink at him and go home.


	17. Chapter 17

It was a long time before you fell asleep.  
You're excited when you tell Osamu about the baby tomorrow.  
and you feel as in love as on the first day. And tomorrow you will talk and find a solution. This bad conscience and making decisions without speaking to Osamu ends.  
The nicest thing is this longing will end.  
What you ignore in all your considerations is Osamus' incredible loyalty.

You slept well that night and when you wake up in the morning you feel relatively good. You decide to take a shower and get halfway ready. You still have to prepare a little. And you're nervous too. You don't tell someone every day that he is going to be a father.  
But after the evening yesterday, his kisses, his looks, you're less afraid.

After showering, you stand naked in front of the mirror in your bedroom and examine yourself from the side.  
Being pregnant is incredibly exciting for you. You tilt your head.   
You've never looked at yourself as closely as you do now.  
You go to the kitchen where your cell phone is charging.  
You take it in your hand and immediately drop it again.

Osamu:

I have a girlfriend I like.  
I can't see you again and again and fall in love with you again and again. You just took advantage of the fact that I was drunk. I can no longer trust you there. I delete your number. It is the best for both of us.  
Thanks for the time we shared.  
Osamu

Panic arises in you. No no no!  
You try to send him a message, but find that he has blocked your number.

You can't breathe you feel so bad. The world is spinning. But then everything stops.

When you wake up again you are lying naked on your kitchen floor. A strange feeling, just falling over, you haven't had that either. You slowly get up and feel your body. Everything seems to be ok so far. You are just cold. You are touching your belly and fear rises. But even when you go to the toilet there is no blood.  
"That's good," you say to yourself. Later you ll see the doctor, he will tell you if its true.

"You are still there, I am still there and so we are not alone. I promise you to take care of us and not fall into a hole now. Your father has decided. That is good. Unfortunately not good for us right now, but we´ll make it. "   
You touch your barely visible baby bump and stroke it. You need to breathe and calm you down. You are almost sure that it is not a good idea to get upset.

You go to the box in which Osamus things are.  
It's like someone died. You are absolutely shocked. Because you were so sure that he still loves you. And now he prefers that stupid woman.  
You notice how a wall is built around your heart again.  
You feel something has just changed in you.

You put on the prettiest dress that still fits you.  
Take the box and go to his house and put it on the doorstep.  
You think about ringing but you turn around and wants to leave.  
You couldn't take his face and neither could his girlfriend's fucking face.  
You may inform Osamu about the baby in a letter. Then it is better for him to know. In the end its his child, although he are going to stop thinking of it.  
When he fathered any children with his fucking ex-girlfriend, children who got his love.  
You touch your belly. But you will love yours twice. For him right away. You don't need him to be a good mother.

You could cry. You could cry over your own stupidity. You fucked with this guy yesterday without a condom. You didn't worry about what diseases his new girlfriend might have when you let him spill into you. What diseases your baby has now.  
Tears come into your eyes and all because you were so stupid to believe he loves you, as you love him.  
NO MORE TEARS you are telling to yourself.  
You don't even notice how you stare at the front door. Only when it opens up and you see Atsumu's face.  
You startle and you take a step back.  
"Hey" he smiles at you. "Osamu is not at home." he looks at the box next to the door.  
"Come in“ he says. I have a hangover and I just want to eat something."  
You don't really want to go in.  
But eating sounds good. And you want to talk to someone about something.  
No matter what.  
So you follow Atsumu and sit down at the kitchen table.  
You stare at Osamu's door. If he's not here, he's definitely with her. Somehow are not able to feel any feeling.  
Everything in you is deaf.

"You pretty much missed something yesterday," he says, grinning.  
You smile at him politely and have a coffee.   
"That may be. I was tired and I was bothered by the sight" you say coolly.  
"Yes I can understand that." say Atsumu and fill rice in a bowl.  
You sip on your cup and sight.  
„Well I dont care anymore“

Atsumu looks at you sharply. "Well yesterday it looked like you care"  
You wonder for a moment. But you decide that you are telling him the truth. You have always kept Osamus private. But what for now? The topic is done.  
"When you left yesterday, you looked almost happy." he says.  
You stare at him and take some rice and vegetables.  
"Yeah that was yesterday. Shortly before I had sex with your brother and I thought it all made sense" You feel the anger.  
Atsumu raises an eyebrow. You think he realizes that he gets absolute honesty here.  
"Didn't it do? Atsumu asked in surprise." My brother looked almost satisfied the rest of the evening“  
You shurgs. "Apparently not. I asked him to meet me today to find a way ..." You stop. "He agreed with everything and this morning I got that"  
You show him the cell phone. You don't care that this is actually not Atsumus business.

Atsumu sighs. "He's just an absolute idiot. I'm sorry."

"Don´t be. Yesterday it was still important, but everything in me is deaf now. He is just portraying it as if I raped him. This is no longer love. You don't say that to someone you love. " you are so angry.  
"And what he doesn't seem to understand is that I really want to talk to him. I don't want an affair, I don't want anything that causes me more problems than I already have."  
You are so angry you could cry. Atsumu listens to you and opens a can of tuna.  
The smell immediately rises in your nose. Oh no Oh no ... you can't do that now.

"I am sure that he loves you. I see how much he suffers every day," he says as he pushes the tuna into his mouth.  
You try not t to vomit. You swallow hard.  
"Well yesterday when he kissed me I thought you were right. But nobody writes anything like that if you love the person." You cross your arms over your chest and try to lie back as far as possible. The smell of the tuna simply cannot be masked.

Atsumu sighs.  
"I honestly thought that ..."  
You can't take it anymore. You jump to a mumble "Sorry" and run to the bathroom, unfortunately you are not able to close the door behind you. You vomit clearly audible.  
"We definitely have to practice that with beeing a team", you think to your baby as you wash your mouth.  
When you get back to the kitchen, Atsumu has already put you a glass of water. You drink it gratefully. "Did you maybe drink more yesterday?" he asks with a grin.  
You bring the water glass to your mouth "I didn't drink yesterday ..." you say without thinking.  
Then you remember that he assumes that you have it. And you put on an ironic grin as possible.  
He raises an eyebrow and grins.   
„In the end it is so, I think Osamu is only happy with you. But since you are going to fly home, he tells himself that this girl could work again. And now a little gossip for you. It doesn't work. " Atsumu looks seriouse.

You sigh and rub your hands over your face.  
"We both should have had just sex for two weeks and that's it. I would have had fun, less crying and less problems"  
Atsumu grins broadly. "Yes, I also think we would have had fun. Then he shrugs." But you love him. And he loves you. "  
You laugh bitterly. "Yes, he just fucks another one" you say quietly. "He made a decision and that's a good thing. I just have no more energy left, I just have to sort out so many things somehow. I just can't run after a love."  
You get up and straighten your clothes.  
"But now I have to go. I've already talked too much."  
"You say if you have problems don't you?" Atsumu asks with concern.  
You laugh "I rarely do that." He hugs you. And you go home.

In the afternoon you still have a doctor's appointment. He confirms that everything is good. You're kind of relieved.  
You feel weird the excitement is gone somehow. This deaf feeling overshadows everything.  
Even when you hear the baby's heart sounds, you can't really be happy. It's kind of strange. You are going home and buy some meat and ice cream.

Your deafness gives you the courage to call your father and tell you about your pregnancy. As expected, he wasn't amused. But you played the adult card out and that he was only a year older than you as he became father.  
What a shitty day. You take your ice pack and spoon in frustration.   
Besides, you are thinking about what you could call this child. You laugh bitterly. A boy „Samu“ and a girl „Mia“. And then you could tell that that's all you have left of your father. Who now has lots of beautiful children far away with a beautiful woman.   
You roll your eyes. You dont like the name Mia. It's absolutely sickening.

You put another spoon of ice cream in your mouth. Life is a pain.  
There is a knock on your door. You look at the clock. It is 9pm.  
Who the hell wants to spoil your evening even more? You are thinking of putting yourself to death when there is a knock again.  
Annoyed you open the door.

„Atsumu?“ you ask surprised. He is breathing hard at your door. He must have been running.  
"You're pregnant, aren't you?"he screams excitedly.  
You pull him on his arm into your apartment. You have to breathe calmly.  
"How did you come to this?" you ask quietly.  
"Your friend yesterday said you shouldn't carry heavy things, the vomit, the things you said and you are touching your belly all the time... but that's not the question." he's incredibly excited.

You sigh and wipe your eyes. You nod you head, now come the tears you've been waiting for all day. Atsumu hugs you and caresses your back. It is somehow a piece of security what you missed so much. And what you need.   
You sit down in your chair again.  
"Does Osamu know?" you ask worried.  
"Of course not," says Atsumu.  
He draws in the air sharply.  
"I don't know what to say now. Is Osamu the father?"  
You look at him incredulously. And raise ab eyebrow.  
"Of course he's the father, I'm so excited, sorry" he contuine.

„Yeah“ you sight „it is really exciting.“  
„Do you know what you wanna do?“ he asks  
You fold your fingers.  
"I would like to speak to Osamu." You take a break. "I'll keep it.In the end I don't expect anything from him. If he's happy with his girlfriend. Then he should stay that way. The child doesn't get in his way." You caress your belly.  
Atsumu laughs. "Are we talking about the same Osamu here?"  
"Atsumu today was such a slap in the face. And he probably won't even believe me. And keeps on telling me that he is not able to trust me anymore"  
He gets up and hugs you. "You are afraid I understand that. I don't know if Osamu will be happy, but I know that he will be there."

Atsumu and you talk for quite a while. He encourages you to talk to Osamu.  
He tells you that Osamu went to his parents with his girlfriend.  
He'll be back in 2 days. When Atsumu leaves, he promises not to tell Osamu. He also invites you to his match the next day.

When he's gone. You are looking at the latest photo of your baby,which admittedly, is very reminiscent of a bubble.  
You grin and stroke your stomach.  
Then you put out the light and check again how far your mobile phone contact to Osamu is possible. Still nothing. You hate the he is so consequence.  
The feeling of numbness subsides again.  
You sight deep.  
You are missing himand wonder if he does too. Based on what he did to you yesterday, you assume.  
Youre closeing your eyes and feel asleep.

The next morning you wake up and have an idea.  
You take the last picture of your baby and write on the back.

You and me ...

You sigh. You could write a letter there now. But what do you want to say?   
Either he comes over and listens to you. Or he doesn't come and you do it alone.

It's almost like in the movie. You get dressed and wait for Atsumu. You accompany him to his match.  
It's like Osamu said. On the square, Atsumu is a real monster.

You wait in front of the hall until he is finished. You watch the girls standing outside waiting for him. You feel a little guilty.

"You don't have to go out to eat with me, you can go out to eat with one of them. In the end you might get dessert," you wink.  
„I think I have more fun with you and you'd just hang around at home and break your head anyway“  
He tellls you unimpressed.  
You think you two are more alike than you thought. Atsumu isn't good at giving up control in there either, and he thinks a lot.  
The evening was actually quite nice. You have learned a lot about him and you also tell him a lot about yourself.  
He takes you home.  
" By the way you are very nice, if you are not so exaggerated," you say as you opens the frontdoor.  
He laughs.  
You give him the envelope with the picture. "Can you please hand out that to Osamu?"  
He looks at the envelope. "It's a photo." you say and sit down on the stairs. You drive over the baby bump. "One of you two?" he asks and sits next to you.  
"Osamu also has one of you in his desk," he continues.  
You blush "You shouldn't be spying on your brother" but you feel more confident about the information.  
„No I didnt , I heard how he argued about it with his girlfriend," he says as if it were normal thing to you to know.  
You would like to know everything Atsumu knows about it.  
"It's a photo of the baby," you say.  
Atsumu nods.  
"We're kind of related now," he grins.  
"Somehow yes" you notice.  
„ I will have this baby, with or without Osamu. I couldn't handle anything else emotionally." you admit quietly.  
"Too bad that sometimes you forget how strong you are. You can do it and I'll help you wherever I can." he says and gets up.  
When you're alone again You take a shower and get ready for bed.  
Tomorrow he will find out ...  
You touch your belly.  
"We can do it"


	18. Chapter 18

The next day feels endless. You rehearse your voice. You clean up. You look what equipment for a baby costs. You have the feeling that everything is too expensive.  
Your father has contacted you and said that somehow you can do it all and that he is going to support you if you need something.  
Your brother sent you an emoji that rolls the eyes.  
At least that wasn't going too bad.  
It is evening and still no news from Osamu.  
Frustrating!   
You lay on your bed and try to read but one of your neighbors has a barbecue. You would like that too. In the End you had to force yourself to eat today. You are so nervous.  
You decide to write Atsumu.  
But he doesn't answer.  
Maybe Osamu already knows and has to think about it. Or he doesn't believe you. It is already 10 p.m. He won't come anymore. You are kind of disappointed.   
You sight and decide to take a shower and get ready to bed. When you sit on the cornor of the bed you see 2 missed calls and one message on your cell phone.  
Osamu ...

Osamu:  
I am outside

You go to the door.  
Osamu is sitting on your stairs. He turns to you and you see that he has the photo in his hand.  
His eyes are red.  
His gaze meets yours. "A baby?" is all he says and holds out the picture to you.   
You automatically put your hand on your stomach.  
You just foolishly shrug your shoulders.  
"May I come in?" he asks. You just notice that you're still angry. You are thankful that he is here but being deported is not the best feeling.  
"Sure" you say and let the door open.  
He comes in and sits at your kitchen table, he puts the photo on the table.  
You sit down opposite him.  
And sighs.  
You wait what he wants to tell you. You was waiting to see him the whole day but you are not able to talk at the moment.

"Our baby?" he asks carefully.  
"Otherwise I wouldn't tell you that." you say casually  
He humms in a strange way.

There was a long pause. He stares at the photo and it looks like he's looking for words.  
Your pity wins and you say.  
"I messed it up. When I was sick I didn't ask you what medication the doctor gave me. Antibiotics make the birth control pill ineffective.  
I actually know that. I'm sorry"  
He nods.  
You know that's a lot of information now. Still, Osamu could say something. You are feeling guilty again.  
"I don't expect anything. You told me very clearly what your point of view is. And I don't want to use you any other way. I just wanted you to know about the baby."  
How things have changed. You wanted him back so badly just 3 days ago. You are just so disappointed that he left you hanging there, after he loved you in that garden.

He still looks at the table and the photo.  
"Do we keep it?"  
You like the wording, but you are not ready to start beeing nice now.  
"I'll keep it. As I said, I don't expect anything from you. No money, no responsibility, I would like to be able to tell my child who the father is. But I can do it all on my own. You have a girlfriend you like who is very charming. With her you will have your own children. So I´d be able to understand if you dont wanna stay in contact with the child and me "  
It hurts yourself to say such things. But you are very proud of yourself for doing this with such a strong voice.

Osamu wipes his eyes and starts to sob.  
You would love to hug him. But you can't do that right now.  
"You don't have to cry. As I said, I don't expect anything. Nothing needs to change for you. If you tell me that you don't want to be in contact at all, that's okay." you continue.

"You sound so cold" ... he says.  
That was the start of your emotional outburst.  
"You just blocked me. You said I took advantage of the fact that you were drunk. You deleted me out of your life without giving me the chance to say anything.  
And I, idiot let you fuck me. And spill me full and now living in fear that my baby has any illnesses from your girlfriend. "Now you crying too.

He looks at you in shock. You never shouted at him like that in all that time. You are also absolutely desperate and do not really know where this conversation should take you.  
„You know whats going on now,you know my point of view, so its your turn to think about what you want.“  
Youre leaving you seat you are not able to talk like this anymore.  
"I'm going to sleep now. You know where the door is."  
You get up without another word. You can't look him in the eye.

When you change your clothes, he's standing in the door. You wear your underwear and he looks at your stomach. The beautiful smile you loved shows up on his face. "Your belly has grown"  
You put your hand protectively on the small bump.  
"Please don't leave me alone now" he sounds almost pleading.  
"You are not alone, you have a beautiful girlfriend." you say snappy.  
He says your name quietly.  
"I've been alone since I left this door. But what should I do, you kept telling me that this is going to end here. That „we“ end."  
You sigh. "And then you go back to her? To someone I've always been jealous of?"  
He sits on your bed and shrugs.  
"Maybe I wanted to hurt you somewhere. And it works better with her and me than before," he admits.  
You exhale annoyed. "Nice to hear" you say and look for a t-shirt. You actually always sleep in Osamus Tshirt, but you don't want to make that a topic here.

"But I love you ..." he says quietly.  
You stop in your search and look at it. You love him too. You know that but you can't say that right now.  
You sigh and look at him.  
"Do you want to touch it?"  
He looks at you gratefully. "May I?"  
"It's somehow yours," you mumble.  
He laughs and you take a step towards him. His hands are trembling.  
"Nervous?" you ask and grin.  
"Somehow," he admits. He carefully strokes his fingers over the small bulge.  
"It's very soft," he says. You raise your eyebrows. "Samu it's always soft" and laughs.  
"You are incredibly beautiful like this," he says, looking up at you from below. You take a deep breath. And lets you fall on the bed next to him.  
"Sorry to be so dismissive. But there has been a lot of emotion in the last few days. I slept with you and loved you, then you didn't want me anymore and everything in me became deaf. And now you're here and saying all these things. It is just a lot. " you run your finger through your hair.

Your shell crumbles.  
You sigh. He sighs.  
"I understand that. I've really screwed up the last few days," he says and lets himself fall backwards.  
"Everyone shits something sometimes" you say and point your index fingers at your stomach. "I should have told you earlier, but I didn't know how."  
He carefully puts his hand back on your stomach and looks at you. You put your hand on his.  
"How long do you know about it?"  
You need to think about "3 weeks … it feels much longer but yeah 3 weeks"  
He nods. "What else do we know?"

"The date of birth is January. Everything looks good. It has a heartbeat. You are the father, I am the mother. And it hats fish, I always need to vomit as soon as I smell fish. And I can no longer abort it." When you list all of this, you actually notice that you don't know that much.

"Have you considered aborting it?"  
You sigh.  
"I was sure that I wanted to abort. I didn't really realize that I was pregnant. I was so lonely, desperate and heard about your new girlfriend and having a child sounded so weird. But then I saw the heartbeat. And well it's not just a baby, it's your baby. " You shrug your shoulders. "I couldn't abort anything that is from you and has a heartbeat"  
"Good you didn't do that. I feel guilty that you had to do it all by yourself."  
It feels so good to talk to him again.  
"Yuri was there." you just say.

Osamu looks at you from the side. You can feel how much he'd love to kiss you.

"How are you?" he asks.  
"I'm afraid. I'm afraid that my baby is sick and the doctor can't see it yet. Because of my carelessness. And I'm afraid that you are here today. And tomorrow I will get a message saying that I need to do it alone."  
You decide that honesty works best here as always.  
"You now have my baby in you and of course I want to continue to have a relationship here ..." you interrupt him.  
"But I don't want a relationship because we have a baby, I want a relationship because you want me.  
I'm not afraid to do it alone. I feel like I'm incredibly in your way. But I have no strength left to fight here. Against another woman. I should take care of myself now. "

He rest his head on your shoulder and soaks up your scent. He doesn't know what to say.  
"Are you staying overnight?" you ask him.  
"Do you want it?" he asks surprised.  
"I won't have sex with you. But I don't mind if you're with me."

The truth is you would love to have sex with him. But you know it would be stupid and not right. He still has this girlfriend and recent experience has shown that it is not wise to have sex with him.  
You get up and take off your underwear. You could do that in the bathroom too. But you are sometimes a sadist.  
You also take your time to look for things. In the end you put on one of Osamu's shirts and look for sleeping shorts. Before you put them on, pull up the shirt again and act as if you were looking at something on your vagina. He is watching you.

You get dressed and lie down under the covers.  
"Do you want to sleep in jeans?" you ask.  
"I need 2 more minutes" Osamu admits a little ashamed.  
You laugh inside.  
You like that you still act on him like that.  
After a few minutes, he strips down to his underpants. You can't help but stare at him. At the same time, you are also a masochist.

You put out the light. It is dark and silent.

"We used condoms." he says at some point.  
Yes, that's really something you don't want to know. But of course it calms you down somehow.  
You turn to him.  
"That's good" you say ... "So for the baby .." you add quickly.

"I´m thinking of you during sex. Sometimes- so that I stay hard." he starts chattering.  
You sit up and look down at him. "Osamu do you really think I wanna know something like that?" you ask something shocked.  
He says your name and also sits up with you.  
"I just don't know what to say, I've never fought for someone, I don't know what to say so you know how much I want you"

He is like a child who learns to walk. "I know how much you want me. We had sex in an old garden shed and even when you weren't horny anymore you kissed me."

You put your head on his shoulder. "I love you too." you mumble. He takes your chin in his hands and presses his lips on yours. Not more. You stroke his hair and grin at him.   
„We have to find a solution, "you say.  
"We will find a solution," he answer.  
"I'm so afraid that there will be something tomorrow. It makes me very nervous. And now I'm stressing myself again ... and that's driving me crazy. What are we going to do now?"  
"I end this with Kaori and then we will make sure that this baby is fine. And you. You also have to be happy. The night I left I heard you scream. It was so bad, I was sitting outside the door and it hurt me so much "You notice how Osamus' voice breaks.  
You hug him and sit on his lap. This position is your home port.  
You stroke him on the cheeks. "At some point we stopped talking. That was the mistake. We should make sure that it will never happen to us again." You start kissing him. 

You take a deep breath.  
"Why are you so relaxed?" you ask in surprise.  
He grins. "When I saw the photo, my girlf ... so Kaori was still there." He laughs.  
"I practically kicked her out and then ran to you and just cried. And I don't even know why ..."  
You nod enthusiastically.  
"Yes, that's how it was for the first few days. I cried and didn't know why"  
Osamu looks at you. "But I knew I wanted to go to you and the baby ... and everything else doesn't matter anyway" He laughs bitterly "I have no idea how we should finance it, how to raise a baby and so on ... but I know we can do it. Sitting here alone with you. It's like coming home." You have to laugh out loud and hug him. "Was it too soft for you?" Osamu asks irritated.  
"No" you're still laughing. "I just thought the same thing as we had sex with each other a few days ago"  
"Yes, this sex was also amazing," he says enthusiastically. "I can't remember the last time I had such good sex"  
It's kind of two old friends talking about something they didn't experience together.

"Yes, but that's also this being pregnant. I've never had orgasms like these before." you say and you notice that you would like to pull the clothes off his body.  
You sigh. "Osamu I can't sleep with you while you have this girlfriend"   
"It doesn't matter at all. I'll have sex with you the rest of my life," he says, stroking your back.  
"Pretty optimistic." you sigh.  
"I find it difficult to deal with the fact that you slept with someone else. I know it's stupid. I only fear that we have to talk a lot about it so that it is ok for me again. " you contine. You feel bad again to be such a problem.  
„We need to talk about a lot“ Osamu sighs and kisses you. „but I dont care as long as we are talking.“  
When you fall asleep he hugs you tightly. And you know that's exactly what you want for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up and look at Osamu's face. He grins at you.  
"I missed that"  
You grin at him and slide closer to him.  
You run your fingers over his chest, over his abs, into his underpants and grasp his hard cock.  
"I missed something else,too" you grin. As you touch him , Osamu draws in his breath sharply.  
"You said no sex," he almost groans.  
"I've said a lot of stupid things," you whisper and press your lips to his.  
He returns the kiss and runs with his fingertips over your skin into your panties. He looks for your clitoris and starts rubbing the little knob.  
It is incredible how sensitive you have become. These short touches make you incredibly wet. Your kisses become more rough, you pull your hand out of his pants and start pulling down your panties.  
"Eager?" he asks with a grin and takes off his shorts.  
"Be calm and fuck me" greedily you pull him on you. 

He moans your name in a harsh tone.  
He is searching for your entrance, as he pushes the tip into you, you greedily stretch out your pelvis.  
"Fuck" you moan. But then you stop opening your eyes and see uncertainty in Osamus gaze.  
"What's going on in your mind?" you ask and try not to sound annoyed.  
"Do you think it hurts the baby?" he asks uncertainly.  
Oh you are a little bit annoyed, you want to be fucked hard and dont discuss about something. But you see that it kind of scares him.  
You sit up and put your hand on the back of his neck. You lean your forehead against his.  
"I think I would notice if it hurts the baby." you say softly and stroke his hair.  
"I'm going to be on top, ok?" you whisper and sit on his lap and let him slide slowly into you. You breathe in his ear and you notice how he slides his hands over your back. 

His hands go up to your head and he opens your braid. Your hair falls over your shoulders. He kisses you and you start to push him deeper and deeper.  
You moan in his mouth.  
He starts pushing up your shirt, as you get disturbed by the ringing of his cell phone.

When you notice that the ringing distracts him, your movements stop and you look for his eyes.  
You already know what's going on without him saying anything.  
"I said to her yesterday we were going to have breakfast together," he says quietly.  
You press your lips together and nods. Then you laugh.  
"What's so funny?" he asks.  
"Your penis is in me" you say and hug him.  
"Yes, I'm really an asshole," he sighs.  
"You're in love," you say, and slips off his lap.  
He is sitting on your bed and watching you. You turn around. "But tonight you will make me happy, Mister. Before that you make someone else unhappy. BUT THEN ... you point to your pussy ... you know .." you wink to him.  
He laughs.   
Then he gets up and kisses you. "You're a little weird," he says.  
You sigh.  
"You chose me" you grin and lean into another kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

You secretly expect that something goes wrong.  
You know Osamu wants to be with you. But you also know how cruel women are who got hurt by a men.  
It is already evening and you havent heard of Osamu. It annoys you. You want to discuss so much with him and the thought that he might have sex with her gets you down. You're already getting tired of the fact that he had sex with someone else lately. But you need to trust him. He wont hurt you again. He loves you and everything is different now. You are telling it to yourself like a mantra.   
You sit on your bed and sigh. Patience has never been your strength.  
You stroke your belly "He'll be back and it will be fine". But it takes forever. Finally there is a knock on your door, you run to it and open. Osamu grins at you uncertainly.  
"What's happening?" you ask.  
"I just listened what a bastard I am for 3 hours"  
You are making a duckface and open your arms.  
"And you were very brave" he drops into your arms.  
" And you are a stupid bitch"  
"I know" you say and press him against you  
You really believe him that he was having a hard time. "Should I cook something to eat?" you ask with a cheerfull voice.  
Hey humms.  
You have 100 questions and you find it difficult to control yourself. You would like to aks them all.Right now.

"I'm so tired," he sighs. I have discussed so much today. "  
You look at him pityingly. "Would you prefer to go home and sleep?" you ask. You do mean the question somewhere seriously but youre sure everyone knows that you would be pissy if he is going to go home now.

He puts his hand on your neck and pulls you towards him and kisses you. "Sure," he says ironiclly, and drops onto a chair.  
You sit on his lap and take his head in your hands. You kiss him on the forehead, nose and mouth.  
"What can I do for you?" you ask.  
The problem with Osamu is sometimes that he doesn't talk. Something moves him and he just doesn't say it.  
"Just forgive me for dragging you in there," he sighs, leaning his head on your shoulder.   
You stroke his neck. You are not quite sure what exactly he means now. "But you didn't pull me in anywhere."  
He sighs. You kiss him but he barely returns the kiss. It seems like he gets more desperate than before.  
The nervousness increases in you.  
"Osamu what's going on? You have to talk to me."  
He sighs. "Later okay? Maybe let's cook something first.“

You suppress your sigh and open your fridge. Osamu is clearly surprised at the content.  
"Yes, I was shopping when you were gone, I only bought things you like. Even fish. But we have to eat that outside," you laugh embarrassed  
He comes to you and kisses you its an incredibly intense kiss.  
"I don't have to eat fish, if you feel bad about it," he whispers.  
You shrug your shoulders.  
"You are just so nice and lovely," he continues.  
Slowly you get really scared, he is talking in a strange way.  
"You are nice and lovely too" you say calmly.

The cooking was very harmonious.  
"Are we eating on the doorstep?" you ask.  
Osamu looks at you questioningly.   
"The weather is so nice and I have a small table" you explain.  
He is skeptical but agrees. You sit on your steps in the setting sun.  
After eating all those delicious things you cooked, you are full and happy. Almost happy. Osamu still owes you an answer. It feels like he's incredibly busy in his thoughts.  
"I know what we're doing!" you say and kiss him „You tidy up here and I prepare something.“  
You grin and go away.

You are entering the bathroom and let water into the tub.  
You two have never bathed together. You love bathing. You distribute candles in the whole room, just for the atmosphere.  
You undress and stand in the bathroom door and calling his name.  
When he sees you he has to grin. He comes to you and kisses you "I didnt deserve it"  
You look at him irritated. "Oh shut up and take your clothes off"

The warm water seems to relax Osamu. You sit opposite him and slide your legs over his.  
You have now created a good situation, now it is up to Osamu if it is a quiet one in the water or if he is talking to you.  
At the moment it looks like it will be a quiet story.  
Okay you know that he had a hard day, but at some point you have to talk to him about the fact that it bothered you that he didn't talk to you sometimes.  
You stroke your stomach lost in thought and look into the candlelight.  
"She said so bad things about you and me today," he says finally.  
You look at him.  
"And she's right about a few things." Osamu sighs.  
"Well Osamu she's hurt. When women are hurt, they say mean things," youre telling him.  
He grabs your hand.  
"She said I wouldn't be able to open my mouth. Unless it's about to hook up with someone. That Im that kind of person who is good to fuck and thats it"  
You roll your eyes. "It's absouluter bullshit, I took your hand in my pants if you remember and you seem suprised, so I dont think you are doing it every saturday night " you try to cheer him up and wink.

He sighs. "I was with her the night I left you"  
This is a blow to your stomach.  
"Okay" is all you can say at that moment and look for other words.  
You are still sure that this is actually not that typical behavior for Osamu. But it happened this way, so you have to accept that. For a short time you are getting kind of deaf again.  
"I spent the night on my kitchen floor" you inform him and look on your belly. It was one of the most terrible nights of your life and you don't really know why you were lying on the floor anymore. But it helped. You lied there and cried. You laugh ironically.  
You have to pull yourself together. He already feels bad and if you make him a scene now that he has slept with two women within 24 hours, that does not bring the situation up.  
"We were separated, so that's okay," you say instead.

You add warm water. "She says I should check whether the baby really is mine because she heard things about you."  
You press your lips together now you are getting angry but you are trying to swollow you anger. "Okay. I didn't even know her name until three days ago, so I cant imagine which things she knows about me. But I'm more interested in whether you believe her."  
"Of course not." he says. "But it hurt so much that she said something about you, I wanted to hit her. I was so angry"   
This words moves you. You are sure he wants to protect you. You need him closer ,so you want to sit on his lap. Which is a little complicated in the narrow tub, but finally you can do it.  
You sigh and touching your little bump "In a few months it's no longer possible to sit like that" Osamu laughs.  
"Okay listen it seems like she told you much today so its my turn now.  
Osamu, I love you. I love you because you are who you are. You are not perfect, neither are I. We both made a lot of shit and hurt each other. But it doesn't matter. "You kiss him." This is important. That you are here with me now.“You lean forward to another kiss.  
You put your hands on the back of your neck and press your breasts against your upper body.   
„You are right, but it was just a lot. I tried to find nice words, but she kept on telling me were I fucked up“ he says.  
You sight. Thats true, maybe he should think about something else. "What do you think about we have a little sex now and maybe we'll talk about us later?“ your guiding your finger over his lips.  
He gratefully kisses you. And you are guiding your hand between his legs, and starts rubbing his cock. He moans and doesnt need much time to get hard.  
You raise your pelvis and notice how he is looking for your entrance with his cock.  
You moan as he slights in.  
You start to move up and down, it figures out that its quiet difficult due to the narrow bathtube, which is full with water. Nevertheless, you enjoy the feeling of having him close to you.

Your attempt to lean on the tub fails and you fall forward. Your head bumps against his shoulder and your nose hurts a little. Still, you have to laugh. "I'm just so untrained"   
You put your face in your hands and shake your head. " I am sorry"  
Osamu laughs really carefree for the first time that evening.  
He takes your face in one hand and kisses you. "You are so incredibly cute," he grins brightly.   
"Hey Babygirl you got an athlete here. Back in high school I was a famous volleyball player. I could have been a professional" He grins at you and kisses you. "So lie on your back, I'll do the work"   
You kiss him almost thankfully and do what you he tells you. Osamu has always had a talent for covering up your mistakes.  
So you slide off him and lie on your back. You put your legs on the edge of the bathtub and he lies between them. He shoves a towel in the back of your neck and kisses him. "Tell me if something feels wrong" he whispers and slights in again. He is so careful.

He didn't promise to much. Your vagina is super sensitive due to pregnancy. Soon your screams of lust fill the room. You notice that Osamu also has to work. He puts a hand under your back and pushes one of your legs over your shoulder. It goes deeper. As his thurts get faster you have trouble not to drown. Osamu recognizes it and presses his lips on yours as best it can.

You feel the waves of orgasm faster than expected. After two or three deep hits against your G-spot, you groan his name on his shoulder.  
He kisses you and grins down on you "You are coming before me? This pregnancy is fascinating" he says and pushes you further.  
You close your legs behind his hip. And hold on to his shoulder. His hip sticks and with a loud groan he comes into you. He lies on you breathing heavily. You catch your breathe,too. You are hugging him tightly. It takes longer than usual for him to come down.

"Now I know why we have never done this before. Fuck! That is really exhausting."  
You laugh. "I know and it feels like all the water has spilled out of the tub." you are laughing. Osamu is resting his head against your head.  
"I love you," he whispers and kisses your shoulder.  
You pull his face towards you "I love you too and I am so happy that you were able to laugh carefree earlier"  
He kisses you and gets up.  
"Unfortunately, everything is wet now."he notice with an ironic tone in his voice.  
„Yes me too“, you say grinning and twitching your eyebrows.  
You get up and use the bath water to wash his sperm out of you. You assess how the sperm reacts with the water and wrinkle your nose.  
"Somehow disgusting," you say. "Yes, it sticks disgustingly as soon as it is in the water," says Osamu.  
You laugh and you step out of the tub.   
You wipe the bathroom together. "I didn't think it has never been that clean as long as I live here," you laugh . He grins and kisses your forehead.

You think for a moment. "You shouldn't care what this girl says about you or me. In the end we know what's right. Even if the last few days weren't so nice, I actually know that I can trust you. And I think as long as we keep talking to each other, we can do it together. Well and of course with it "You point to your belly.  
He looks at you gratefully.

"So and now... Ice cream!" you say and walk out of the bathroom, and get a giant pack of ice cream and sit on the bed.  
You watch Osamu shave. He looks more relieved than at the beginning and you are almost sure that it has nothing to do with sex.  
"Don't you want to get dressed?" he asks and leans in the door.  
"I eat ice cream. Nothing is more important than ice cream." you explain with a grin.  
He laughs, comes to you and licks your spoon.  
You protest and he drops onto the bed next to you. He watches you eat and every now and then you put a spoon in his mouth.  
He sighs.  
"That is really fascinating with your new sensations of pleasure," admits Osamu.  
"Yes definitely. I just have to learn to be quieter" you nod.  
He laughs. "Not because of me. Wait until I eat you out for the first time again"  
"Yes, you haven't done it for a long time. We kind of stopped doing those things at some point."   
You sigh and think. You put the ice pack away and look for clothes to wear for the night.

"Come here" he says after you get on you clothes and you thankfully lean on his shoulder.  
"Do you feel a little better?" you ask and look up at him.  
He holds you tight.  
"Much better, but the day was exhausting. The sex too. I think I'll get sore muscles." He presses his abdominal muscles with his hand.   
"Yes, that was another stupid idea. My neck hurts too. I always thought Sex in the bathtube would be really great."  
You laugh and take his hand. He kisses your forehead. "Sex with you is always good"

You know thats not true, you two had bad sex, but you are not sure if its the right time to tell him. On the other hand you just want to be honest, so you come to the conclusion that it makes no difference whether you postpone the topic or not "Well .. we had bad sex too" you sigh.  
He squeezes your hand. "I know" .... he sighs.   
"Why did you do it anyway?" he asks after a while.  
"I didn't want it to stop and I thought I could take it. My feelings hadn't changed. At least other things bothered me more than the feeling of bad sex.“  
„What kind of things?“  
"Samu, you really had to listen to a lot of shit today, shouldn't we talk about it tomorrow?"you suggest

He seems to be thinking. "Yes, the day was shit. But I want to get it out of my way and tomorrow I'll deal with finding a concept how we can finance the baby -what I really want- how it goes on here with us, so that we both are happy."  
You stroke his cheek and kiss him.  
"If you say something like that, the rest doesn't seem important to me anymore"  
Osamu laughs darkly "It may be, but it is important if it has bothered you"  
You sight. Yes he is right, you both need to talk about the past that it wont happen again. So you explain.  
"That you wrote with this girl while you were with me really scratched my ego," you say and pull his second arm over your body.  
He pulls you on his chest and puts his chin on your shoulder. "Yes I understand." He puts a kiss on your shoulder. "I don't know how to explain that. I've never felt so much love before than for you. I didn't know how I could get out of it. You kept telling me that it will end with us one day. And that was the last thing I want. You never were open to solutions. I had to distract myself but the way I choose was shit. "  
You exhale. "Im so sorry, I never really thought there was a solution. I was so drawn in that I simply didn't listen to you anymore. I'm sorry"

Osamu kisses your cheek, chin and lips. "I'm so glad we made this baby." he whispers in your ear.  
You laugh. "I think we have to deal with a lot of other problems. Unfortunately I have absolutely no idea about raising a child. Or giving birth to a child." You laugh out loud. "Yes you can't say that we have no problems now."   
He sighs. You sigh. He laughs. You laugh.  
You feel as safe as it has not been for a long time.  
You take his hand and lead it to your belly. You twist your fingers with his and you stroke the little bump.

"Do you want to get married?" he suddenly asks.  
The question makes you nervous you really notice how you blush. You are not even able to formulate a reasonable sentence.   
"So we have no money to get married and we are a couple for less than a year. Okay, I would like to marry you someday. But I don't think we have to.“ You are definitely bright red and you notice how your back starts to sweat. But you are keep on telling you are so afraid of hurting him.  
"Excuse me please don't get me wrong now. I really love you ... Oh god...say something... I'm freaking out in here" you sit up and put your hands over your face.  
Osamu laughs loudly and happily. "You are so cute, so incredibly cute. I just wanted to know because you might prefer it. I love you and will love this child too. We don't have to be married for that."  
He hugs you again and covers you with kisses. "We are a disgusting couple." you say.  
"Just get used to it," he smiles against your lips.  
"Another problem that needs to be discussed?" you ask him. He rocks you back and forth  
"Yeah we're in there right now" 

You sigh the subject is a little more difficult. But burdened you to tell him.  
He kisses your neck.  
"Well it's about where I get the baby …" Osamu humms.  
"Japan is not an opportunity for you?"  
You feel guilty about this question alone.  
"Well Osamu I want to have the baby in a place where I understand the doctors. I imagine that giving birth to a baby is exhausting and when I still have to rely on you to translate things for me. I think that's too much. I'm sorry."  
He says your name almost in disbelief.  
"You don't have to apologize for anything here. You have to get the Baby, I can't help you with that. And I totally understand if you want to do this at your home. I just have to find a way to be with you."  
You hug him happily. "Thanks" you whisper.

"I am applying for a semester abroad, like you did. Then I can be with you." he sounds very safe with what he says.  
It also gives you a little security. "As long as the baby doesn't have to go to school, we can go to Japan for a year afterwards. And then we'll see how we work. Where it works better and how we're doing."  
He laughs happily at you. "It sounds like the beginning of a solution"  
You nod  
You feel relieved somehow.

"We're going to have a baby ... and you're like Buddah ... totally relaxed" you are telling him.  
Osamu laughs. "I don't think I have realized that yet. I'm incredibly happy right now that I'm with you and that we're planning our future." You put your head back on his chest and he strokes it.  
"I hope you will be still glad to be here tomorrow morning, while you have to hear me vomit," you say casually.  
"Is it very bad?" he asks.  
"I think it will be better, but when you were gone this morning I also had to hang over the bowl" you shrug your shoulders.  
He looks at you pityingly, then kisses you. "Just close the door," he says ironically.  
You hit him on the shoulder and laugh.

"Girl or boy?" he asks you after a while.  
You have never thought about which gender you would prefer.  
You shrug your shoulders. "I don't know." At the moment I´m calling it "It".  
When I was younger I really wanted a girl. But now that I'm pregnant, I dont care." you explain.  
Osamu sigh. "If a girl came after you, it would be too pretty," he theatrically puts his arm over his eyes.  
„Idiot“ you murmur.  
He laughs, "No, I have no idea what it's like to have a baby, so I don't care about the gender either."

"I think you should speak Japanese to the child and I should speak my mother tongue, because I think the baby should understand our relatives" you laugh uncertainly.  
"Yes you are right" Osamu nods.  
"Well then we have clarified the important things" You press your head against his chest.

"We will separated for a long time when I am back home"  
"I know," he says.  
It would be so nice, it would be easier.   
As if you now had Osamu and your biggest problem would be that you are pregnant.  
"Hey" he says your name with love. "We have been through so much shit in the past few weeks. And I was not happy. You will be leaving in late September. And I will do everything I can to be with you in January. That is a period of 4 months. We can skype and phone. You will be amazed at how good I am at telephonesex "he tries to sound positive.  
"If you have daytime, it's night for me," you say matter-of-factly.  
"It's a foreseeable time," says Osamu. Its to positive right now. So much things happend and you are not able to deal with his positiv statements.

"You were in another women in less than 24 hours after our last split."  
You didn't want to say that, the words just spill out of your moth. It shows you and certainly also him that this still affects you.  
"I can't change it anymore," he says quietly.  
Tears run down your cheeks because it hurts you, and you are pissed that you need to bring up these topic again. You dont want to be someone like that.  
If you know Osamu you cried as much as you haven't in a long time. It's been a long time since someone managed to move you emotionally like he does.

"I don't think it's the fact that you slept with anyone. You slept with someone I was always jealous of. Somebody where everyone - except Atsumu - told me how great she is. It's like a slap in my face that you ran straight to her. "   
Everything in you is torn. You want to hug him, but a strange rage eats you up.  
"You left me," says Osamu clamly watching the blanket.

"YOU LEFT ME" you scream and get up and out of the bed.  
"The moment you started writing her and fucking me like a whore, you left me!!!"  
More and more tears come to your eyes. You pace nervously in the room.  
"I just didn't know what to do next. You also allowed me to sleep with you like this." his voice is calm.  
"Because I didn't want to lose you. And you know what? I sincerely hope you didn't fuck with her when we were still together."  
He looks concerned on the blanket "No I haven't. We were drinking coffee once"   
You laugh ironically. You find that bad enough.  
"Thank goodness I gave you the go-ahead that you could finally fuck her. By the way how was that? Fucking her? After you spilled into me shortly before?"

Inwardly you pray to all the gods you know, that he will tell you right away that it was very cruel.  
He slowly raises his eyes and yo u norrow yours.  
"It was different" he says seriously.  
Unfortunately you didn't want to hear that.  
"Aw" is all you say and go to the kitchen. Sit down at the kitchen table and cry. Cry over everything that was. You put your face in your hands and scream out all the pain. All the fear, anger, and guilt you've felt in the past few weeks. The uncertainty of what should happen now. And the fact that it doesn't get any easier.

Without realizing it, Osamu sat on the floor. He pulls you from your chair onto his lap. You bury your face on his shoulder and cry. He rocks you back and forth like a child.  
You calm down slowly. You straighten up and he strokes your hair from your face.  
"You were so incredibly strong. I am so proud of you, even if you were so angry with me, you took care of my baby so well. It won't be easy but I promise you that you can trust me." Osamu whispers.  
"I am really scared that it will be the same again, that I am not going to leave you and there are going to be someone new.. This is not a long-distance relationship in the sense of 300km and we see each other every 2 weeks. I really believe that I can do this alone and that I can love the baby for two. But I don't want to do it alone because you are just the man who is everything to me.“

When you look him in the eye you see that they are also red.  
"Even when I was with her, I loved you. When I saw you at this party ... the moment you were sitting at the piano and watching people ... at that moment I only wanted to be with you. I wanted to kiss you there, in front of everyone and show everyone that you belong to me. And when you said something to me in this kitchen, I didn't understand it but I knew what you said. Because I missed you every day, even as I didnt want to accept it.“ remebering this time brings tears in the eyes of you both.  
„You are the first woman I really cry in front of. In the end I keep crying about you all the time and you are so nice to me . What is that?“ he wipes up his tears and laughs.  
You kiss him.  
All you say is "love" and he nods.

Your kisses become more sensual.  
Your tongues play with each other and hunger awakens in you.  
You get up and pull him up with you. "Eat me out" you whisper against his lips.  
He lifts you up and you close your legs around his waist. He puts you on the bed and takes you off your clothes again.

He kisses you and brushes your hair off your face.  
Slowly he lies down on his stomach between your legs. The first lick already feels like heaven. More sensitive, more fulfilling than you normally feel it. You moan and grap your sheets with your hands.  
The feelings get stronger. You are louder than usual. Now and then you hear Osamus' dark laugh between your legs. As soon as he starts to push his fingers in your wet, dripping pussy, you can no longer hold it. You are not able to control your legs and moan his name as loud as you can when your orgasm makes your body shake.

You are breathing heavily and when you let your legs slide over his shoulders again. "Fuck" you moan. He grins at you. "What?" you ask.  
He shakes his head slightly "We're not done here yet". You grin and stroke his hair.  
"Okay, that was good, so I'm doing it well for you too" you wink.  
You get on you hands and knees and he pushs in greatfully.   
He greedily begins to fuck you, his hands walking up from your hips and encircling your breasts, looking for your nipples. With a deep push you are able to feel the pain goes out from your nipples. You slump forward and dig your head into the pillows.  
It doesn't take long for you to have a second orgasm. Exactly at the time when Osamu pulls you up and hugs you from behind. You cling to his neck and notice his breath as he brushes your face.   
You notice how he trembles as he spilla into your pussy. Breathing heavily, you two lean against each other.  
He kisses your shoulders and your neck. His hand goes to your baby belly, he strokes the little bump. You wonder if he does it consciously or unconsciously.   
You turn your head to him and kiss him.  
At that moment you also feel that it is possible.


	20. Chapter 20

You ve never thought how the baby would change you. Not only your body but also your views of the world. You are positive about the future with Osamu and it hasn't always been that way.  
It's mid-August, the weather is incredibly hot and is still bothering you. You have circulatory problems from time to time. Surprisingly, Osamu cares more about it than you do. Osamu now works on the side in an Onigiri restaurant. You told him he didn't have to but he thinks you both will need the money. You know he's right so you're motivated to make as much money as possible.   
You two have been discussing a lot over the past 4 weeks. You realize that there is a problem which is still bothering you. It is the fact that he could sleep so easily with another woman. You need to talk about it over and over again. You also notice that he is getting annoyed by the topic, but he patiently explains all of his thoughts, feelings and reasons about it.

You are lying on your bed with your legs spread wide and scream out the waves of your orgasm. Osamu sucks every drop of your juice.  
"Fuck" you moan. Osamu kisses the inside of your thigh and smiles at you. "It's hard to imagine that you kept me waiting sooo long, until I was allowed to slide my tongue into your pussy," he laughs dirty.   
You roll your eyes. He hands you your panties and drops next to you. After you pull it up, he puts his arm around you.   
"It feels different somehow." you say almost apologetically. He laughs and then gets serious.  
He kisses you and you taste yourself on his lips, he showes how much he cares about you every time he can.

He sighs und you knows whats coming next.  
"We have to tell it slowly," he says in a low voice.  
You whine and hugging his waist.  
"Can't you do it alone?"  
He takes a deep breath and tries to say your name in a relaxed tone. But you notice that he is annoyed.  
"I could. But don't you find your request somehow selfish?"  
He's right and you know it.  
You put your arm closer around his waist. "I know. But your mother hates me."  
"She is going to be a grandma and you are 15 weeks pregnant. And I want to tell my mother and of course my father because I think we will need their help."

You look into his eyes pouting. He comes closer and closer to your face and whispers "You know it's true".  
He leans to you and kisses you.  
"What do you think of a compromise?" you ask.  
He raises his eyebrow skeptically.  
"Only one night? One day there, one day back"  
Osamu sighs. "It doesn't make any sense, we're driving alone ..." he stops as he sees your begging look.  
„Well okay...“ he sights and agrees.

The train ride to Hyogo seems forever.  
Osamu is nervous and you can definitely understand that. You hold his hand and squeeze it encouragingly. You remeber the moment as you told it your family and you dont think there are going to be a good feedback.  
He leans his head against your shoulder and you stroke his hair out of his face.  
You decide to distract him.  
"I have to buy new clothes slowly. They don't fit anymore."  
He grins and looks at your belly.  
"Somehow crazy," he says. "We'll go to the doctor next week?"   
You need tolook in your cell phone.  
"Yes, on Wednesday" you are telling him.  
It is the first time that Osamu is accompanying you.  
"Excited?" you ask and grin at him.  
"Oh yes, do you think they can already see the gender ?" he asks.  
You shrug your shoulders. "I don't know. But I think we are going to know it before im leaving. I would love to have you by my side."  
He nods. "Yes, I would be really happy"

"Have you ever thought about a name?" he asks after a while.  
Of course you thought about it. Only the fact that you're always afraid that it's too early to talk about it bothers you to tell him. So you´re telling him.  
"Not yet specific. But I like the idea that we could choose two names for the baby. One Japanese and one from my homecountry. Or if you don't like the idea, a name that goes for both countries."  
"Actually, I like foreign names," admits Osamu.  
You smile at him and stroke his hair.  
"Well the idea behind is simply that we don't know where we will live in three years. And the child is a mix of our genes and .. I dont know how to explain ... I want the child to have a choice somewhere .... does that sound stupid? "  
He kisses your forehead. "No, it's incredibly smart as always"

As you arrive at Osamu's parents place the normal small talk fallows. While you were sitting on the table and nip on your water you have to see Osamu as he explains his parents very elaborately that he is going to be a father.  
It doesn't look like they both understood what he is talking about.   
Osamu is getting more and more nervous. You take his hand and look him in the eye. He takes a deep breath and you nod.  
"She is pregnant and I am the father," he finally says.  
Truly the calm before the storm follows. After especially his mother realized what he said, there is a surge of information, allegations and questions. Osamu holds your hand and answers everything in peace. His mother thinks you are too young and since you are flying home and she doesn't know how to do it.  
As she says that Osamu shouldn't invest money in something were is no future in her opinion, Osamu lets go of your hand.  
You look at him in shock.  
In a calm voice, he says, staring at his mother.  
"If you make me choose, I'll do it." He says that in a voice that gives you goose bumps. You grab his wrist "Osamu ... don't ..." you hiss. 

He looks your eyes and you shake your head lightly.  
He gets up and leaves. Yeah that wasnt the best way but you expect something like that.  
You still sit there uncertainly but you are not sure, if you should stay there or follow him. His mother looks at you and then walks away. She is definitely no fan from the idea of beeing a grandma.

You are staring at your hands and feeling ashamed. You hear Osamus father clear his throat "Would you like some tea?" he asks.  
Thankfully youre smileing at him, honestly you would have drunk anything just to do something. So you nod happily. So he is leaving in the kitchen und you have a moment to calm down again.

He hands you a cup of tea and smiles at you. He has the same smile as Osamu. "The two will calm down," he says and sits down opposite you.   
You nod thoughtfully and smile at him uncertainly. Yeah, he is right. But at the moment you are feeling unbelievable unsure what to think and do. While you were sitting there you realize how smilliar Osamu and his father are.  
He sips on his tea and breathes.  
"Then tell me when I'm going to be a grandfather?" he says and grins broadly.  
You put the tea cup on the table and sigh almost relieved at this question.  
"In January" you tell him with a little uncertain about the situation. Talking to strangers has never been your straight. And you cant say that youve spent much time with this person before.  
He is still grinning. "You just had to listen to a lot of opinions about yourself. But how are you doing?"  
You take a sip of tea and think.  
"Well, I'm pretty scared. It's really a bit much right now and I don't want Osamu to argue with his mother. I'm so glad he doesn't leave me alone. But before he loses his mother, I do it rather alone. I mean with the baby and so on "You try to find the right words but somehow you are not satisfied.

The relaxed grin of Osamu's father also relaxes you somehow.  
"My son would never leave you alone. He loves you and everone is able to see it. Even his mother. Dont want to tell you to much unnecessary stuff but, my wife and I were both happy when he left with Kaori the last time theyve been here.“ He tells you with the same unimpressed voice as Osamu usually do.  
„It was just discussion about everything and he didnt look happy. He's never someone who talks a lot, just like me. But when it comes to you, he would do anything he can. Maybe even break off contact with his mother. But I know my wife, she will calm down and love the baby like a grandma has to love it. "

His words sound so honest and relax you. You need to ask him for something which bothers you since you are with Osamu again.  
"You have to help Osamu when I'm home again. I think it will hurt him a lot, if the baby and I are not with him. We are working on a solution, but we have to be separated first." You shrug your shoulders.  
"You will find a solution, " he nods. It follows a little small talk about your views and plans and he listens carefully and answers with respect.  
In the end he gets up and hugs you. "Thank you for making my son so happy." It is so nice to hear after all the doubts and criticism you had to endure.   
You feel a little better after the conversation.

You go up to Osamus' room and lie down on his bed. You write a short message to Osamu, but before you read the answer you are already sleeping.  
You wake up feeling Osamu stroking your cheek.

You yawn and contract your muscles. Osamu kneels in front of the bed and leans down and kisses you. "Sorry I left you alone," he whispers.  
"Don't be, are you okay?" you whisper back  
He smiles in relief. "Yes, I talked to my mother again. She apologized and I think it's okay so far."  
You put your arms around his neck and pull him towards you. Your lips cover his face with kisses but he slows you down. "As much as I would like to do things with you now ... we're going out to dinner now. My father invites us." he grins against your lips.

Leaving the house is one of the last things you want to do now. But you smile gratefully and get out of bed.  
You search your suitcase and sigh. "Somehow I don't know what to wear."  
You choose a simple black dress. With a belt you try to cover the belly as much as possible.  
"Why are you hiding it?" Osamu asks, leaning against the bed watching you.  
"Your mother just seems to accept it, we don't want to provoke her." you justify yourself.  
He comes to you and hugs you from behind, caresses your belly and humms. "Release it - for me." he whispers as he kisses your neck. You dont like the idea. You dont like as soon as people watch you more than 20 sec. You feel his lips against your chin and whine.  
He fought for you and loves you so you put out the belt again, but leave your hair open in the hope that the belly won't be noticed.

The restaurant is full of people who make you nervous. Osamu takes your hand and squeezes it lightly.  
How are you supposed to survive at home as soon as you are alone in crowds again?  
You sit down at your seat and look at the pictures on the menu.  
The new situation challenges you to deal with Kanji.

Osamu watches your menu selection with amusement.  
"Its fish" he mumbles silently to you while thinking about what to eat.  
You sigh. His finger taps your card "You like that."  
You nod gratefully.  
As you eat, you listen intently to the ideas and suggestions of Osamus mother. There are a couple of usable ones, but there is also a lot you can't say anything about because you don't know yet.

You are pretty exhausted when you get home. Osamu, however, is quite drunk.  
As soon as you enter his room you feel his hands on your hips. He caresses your body and you lean your head against his shoulder.  
"Everything okay?" he whispers and kisses your cheek.  
You pull him on your lips and kiss him humming. "Everything is okay now, just tired"

On your butt you can tell that his cock is already hard.  
"Should I leave you be?" he asks as his hands move to your breasts.  
The idea of stretching your legs in all directions now tires you even more.  
You turn around and open his pants. "I don't think I want to go all the way today, but I would like some dessert" you tell him grinning and raising an eyebrow.  
He laughs darkly as he you pulls his pants down in greed. He kicks it away with his foot. "Alright babygirl, get on your knees for me"  
You pull your dress over your head, Osamu prefers a good view of your breasts.  
You lead him to the bed and kneels between his legs.  
You grab his cock, even this light touch makes him tremble. He breathes heavily and caresses your shoulders. You rub his cock lightly, your lips go straight to his balls. You cover the sensitive skin with wet kisses. With your tongue, you discover every bump of his balls, before you put one in your mouth and suck on it.  
Osamu draws in the air sharply and his fingers dig into your shoulders.  
Before he can loosen his grip, you suck a second time. The surprise makes him moan louder than he wanted.  
"Fuck" he breathes. Because of his suprise you need to grin.  
On the bottom of his cock you start running your tounge up to his tip, you can already taste his precum.  
Lightly you slide your tongue under his foreskin.  
You are teasing him slowly.  
"Please" he whispers.  
"Please, what?" you ask moving your hand around his cock.  
"Suck my cock" his eyes are glassy and pleading.  
You have to grin. It's rare for him to beg, so you're doing him a favor. You let your lips run over his tip before you put his cock in your mouth. You earn a moan as response.  
You move your head up and down and rub his dick with your right hand. You notice how a mix of his precum and your spit runs down his cock.  
His breathing becomes heavier and he falls backwards onto the bed. you notice the slight movements of his hips. With your elbows you make sure that he stays in place.  
"Fuck, Im close" he warns you with a heavy breathe.  
He runs his hands over your hair. With a hard moan, he fills your mouth with his sperm. You don't really have a choice and swallow it.   
Breathing hard, you rest your head on his thigh.  
Osamu gasps for breath and looks for your hand. „Fuck you are so good in it. Did you swollow it?“ he asks in suprise.  
You laugh bitterly. "Yeah .. honestly, I think once a guy slept with me just because he want me to suck his cock. And yes I swollowed"  
You get up and lie down next to him and he puts his arm around you. "I sleep with you because I love you," he says deliberately provocatively. "Yes, you are also a real romantic," you reply and laugh. You notice how the sperm has arrived in your stomach. You usually get a little sick of it. This time, too, the strange feeling does not fail to materialize.  
„What do you think? Should I go on my knees,too?“ he asks after a while.  
You are humming and runnig over his abs. And shake your head. „No its okay. Im tired and usually you are the one who got on your knees. So it was my turn today.“   
He rolls on top of you and presses his lips against yours. „ I love you. Im afraid of the time you ll be gone. Because Im not able to imagine a life without you at the moment.“  
You are hugging him so close its possible. „ I know. Im afraid,too. But its just for a short time. And I love you so much. You are something like my soulmate. Ive never felt like this before. And fuck Osamu, we create something or someone who is 50% of me and 50% of you. This is so absolutely crazy.“ you laugh.  
You keep on kissing for a while before you fell asleep.

It is Wednesday morning and a visibly nervous Osamu stands at your doorstep. He worked late in the evening yesterday and spent the night at home. You are visiting the doctor today. Its going to be the first time for your boyfriend.  
You spend the trip to the gynecologist with answering 100 questions about the procedure.  
As always you are nervous when you see a doctor. Osamus nervousness doesn't make things any better. So you both sit with bobbing legs in the waiting room. He takes your hand and you notice that it is sweaty.  
When you hear your name, Osamu laughs. "People really have problems with your last name here," he whispers. "I'm just a foreigner" you whisper back and grin.  
The investigation is going well. Osamu is so fascinated that he forgets to translate important parts for you. You reassure yourself that you actually understand what the doctor is telling you. But to be sure, you are asking again. „Everything okay?“  
Osamu smiles at you and nods.  
Then he continues his conversation with the doctor, who explains exactly what he sees on the screen.  
"Can you already see the gender?" Osamu finally asks.  
The doctor presses a few buttons and nods. "I can't tell it for 100% yet, but I'm 70% sure. So you want to know?"  
Osamus eyes shine, "Yes" he says quickly.  
Then he looks at you, you never really talked about whether you wanted to know.  
But Osamu's main topic is always gender and you're curious too.  
So you nod.  
The doctor shows you the screen and drives with his finger over part of the screen. "I’m almost sure we’ll see a boy here."  
You narrow your eyes, unfortunately you don't see anything. When you want to tell Osamu your inability and look at him, you see that he's crying. You grin at him and he kisses you.  
He clears his throat. "Sorry" he whispers.  
You wonder a little bit that you don't need to cry, but you come to the realization that you really don't care what gender the child is. You are squeezing Osamus hand and he calms down slowly.

You say goodbye and make a final appointment with the doctor before you fly home.  
When you leave the practice, you walk hand in hand through the city, nobody speaks.  
You stop in front of a restaurant.  
"Hungry?" Osamu asks and caresses your back.  
"I think I'll buy ice cream," you say.  
"No, no, we are going to eat something real," he explains and puts you at a table. He orders food and sits down with you.

You catch his eye. "Are you aware that a penis is growing in my uterus?" you finally say.  
Osamu grins. "Yeah?"  
"It's an absolutely strange thought," you say. But you can't explain him why it's so funny and feels kind of weird.

A bowl of ramen is placed in front of your nose and you stir it with your chopsticks.  
"Hey babygirl, are you happy?" Osamu asks after a while with an unbelieveble smile.  
"Very happy" you say.  
"Me too." he agrees.   
You both were eating for a while. Its so strange that you are going to be a real family soon. Like all the other familys in the restaurant.  
Osamu clears his throat.  
"What do you think? Are you going to marry me?" he continues to ask while poking around in his bowl.  
"Are you just asking me?" you ask with a raised eyebrow.  
He shrugs his shoulders unsurely and you need to grin. He is so absolutely cute.  
"Someday" you explain and also shrug your shoulders.  
"Is that important to you? You ask seriously.  
He shakes his head and ponders the right words. "It's just like that, I'm just full of love... I don't know.... The thought of not doing it, feels so wrong." He smiles shyly.  
"I know exactly what you mean," you agree with him.  
"But I think we should first think about how we can get this 3 kg baby out of my vagina." you say dryly so that Osamu has to laugh.  
"Yes, that doesn't sound very pleasant." he says grinning.  
"I think we should get over this first. I don't think I´ll be so relaxed about something like that.  
And to be honest it kind of scares me to give birth to a child and my biggest fear is that you are not able be there for any reason. Meanwhile I think I need you to be there." His eyes get a little sad, you smile at him encouragingly. " And at least, I have to scold you during the birth" you shrug your shoulders and grin at him. 

"Yes, you are right. So I will certainly marry you after you have insulted me, but I also think it's not the best idea to get married as long as you are pregnant," he says while he is eating.  
You nod excitedly. "If I marry you, we'll throw a big party. And everyone has to come. I really want a great dress. And I want to drink alcohol and dance a lot. OMG Osamu you don't even know my friends at home, you have to to get to know them. They are crazy as me and they are going to love you." As you think about it, you realize how much you want to marry him right now. But then you become thoughtful. "Well we may have to get through the coming time first" you say seriously and eats.  
"We will ..." he says. "I want that. I want us to do it." Osamu sounds real determined. And you want it too. As you eat, think about how to phrase the following.  
"Do you want more ... freedom ... and less rules in this time?"  
He stops chewing and looks uncertainly at your gaze.  
"In the form of what?" he asks.  
This guy ... sometimes its really hard for him to get the hint.

"Well ... you know ... if you get to know a girl it would be okay for me if you are going to get to know her ...closer" you are almost stutter.  
He looks you over and says his name almost amused.  
"Do you honestly think that I am sleeping with any girl while the woman I love and who is pregnant with my baby is busy setting up a nursery, taking care of my baby or preparing to give birth. The thought that you all have to do it on your own is hard for me to bear. I also plan to work a lot in this time so that I can send you money, so that the baby has everything it needs and of course you. He smiles shyly. "I just jerk off often ... but hope for naughty photos of you." he winks.  
It was kind of the perfect declaration of love for you.  
"I love you." you say and it's just all that needs to be said.


	21. Chapter 21

As you open your eyes you already know that Osamu is awake.  
You take his hand, just lying in his bed staring at the ceiling.  
"Did you sleep?" you whisper  
From the corner of your eye you notice that he shakes his head.  
" In the End everything is going to be fine," you whisper.  
You plane home starts in less than 12 hours.  
The past week has been terrible. Together with Atsumu you cleared your apartment and sent the things you need back home. The last 2 days Osamu and you have actually spent in his bed. Cried, cheered each other up and hugged each other.  
You feel so guilty that you need to go home. As stupid as it sounds, but you take the baby with you and he is left back alone.  
While thinking of that, tears are running down your cheeks again. Without a word, he puts his arm around you and pulls you to his bare chest.  
"I'm so afraid that we won't make it and this is the last morning where we wake up together." you sob.   
This uncertainty is what torments you both. He loves you and you love him, you know that. But the idea that you are separated by a thousand kilometers for 3 months scares you both.  
You notice his lips on your forehead. "I promise it won't be," he whispers. When you look up you see his tears. It's like a bad movie.  
You hug his hips and have to laugh. Your stomach is getting bigger so its not that easy anymore. His hand automatically goes to your bare baby bump. "We'll make it just for him." he says and wraps his arms around you.  
You nod and put your hand on his.

An absolutely horrible day follows. You are not hungry and this is rare. Osamu encourages you to eat for the baby and it works quite well. You just can't stop crying, it's the hormones and the pain. It's not just Osamu, it's also Yuri, Taro and Atsumu that you won't see for such a long time.

Narita Airport.  
You stand between your friends with your hand luggage.You have no real words. It is all so much emotion and uncertainty and actually you would like to be at the end of this trip, and Osamu is already there and you are able to plan something real.  
With your baby boy in your arms and Osamu by your side.  
Taro starts by hugging you and telling you to take care of yourself.  
"If you make her unhappy, I'll grab your eggs." you say warning with a smile and a wink. He actually has no time to answer because Yuri falls around your neck.  
"When we get married you have to come back to Japan and celebrate it with us," she said and you can feel her tears on one cheek.  
"As soon as you get married, I travel everywhere," you laugh and hug her again. "Without you I would have been lost in this country, you brought me to him, for that I will be eternally grateful." you whisper and kiss her cheek.  
In the end, it was really Yuri who changed your life. She dragged you to this party where you met Osamu.  
For this reason, you will come to her wedding - no matter when it is.  
You take a deep breath. and go on to Atsumu. You can see that he is crying and grins at him. "Sumu-chan ...“ you hug him.“ Please be there for Samu and take care of him. And of course on you. "you whisper in his ear.  
Atsumu hugs you tightly and nods. In the end, only Osamu remains, who smiles at you uncertainly. You return his smile and hug him. You put your head on his chest and draw in his scent. "As soon as there's a problem, call me. Even in the middle of the night." he mumbles into your hair.  
You nod- you can't even cry anymore. You cried a lot the last few days, even during sex. He strokes your cheek and bends you down to kiss you. You return the kiss and feel almost desperate. Your flight is called. You put your hands on his neck, when you open your eyes you look into his. "I will write to you as soon as I landed. I generally write to you, I hate the idea of being without you." you whisper  
"Me too, but we can do it. And soon I'll be with you again. Take care of yourself and our child." He kisses you one last time.  
He hands you an envelope. "Open it on the plane," he says. You nod and turn around and take your luggage.  
Before you go through the security control you turn around again. Yuri hugs Osamu and he looks after you sadly. You let go of your suitcase and run towards Osamu as fast as you can. You pull him down to you and kiss him again. "I love you, I forgot to say that."  
"I love you too," he murmured against your lips.  
Now you have to cry. You kiss him again and you can no longer look at him.   
You turn around and go to your suitcase and get on the plane.

When you look at Japan, you think about what a crazy year it was. You sigh and lie back. Next to you is a woman who hands you a tissue.  
You nod gratefully. During the flight she talks to you and it distracts you quite well. When the plane lands you are happy to be home. Your father and brother are waiting for you and you are almost flying in their arms.  
"You've gotten fat," your brother comments with an eyebrow raised. Without a comment you hit his shoulder.  
As you sit on the back seat of the car, you take out your cell phone. When you turn it on you have 3 messages from Osamu. And a photo, it shows one of your panties.

Osamu:  
"You forgot something" :)

You have to grin, it was a short circuit idea when you put one of your panties under his pillow.  
While watching this you remember something. You get the envelope on your jacket, you forgot to open it on the plane.  
There is a not on it "For your tattoo" followed by Kanji.  
You have to grin, he's so cute. Unfortunately, you cannot get a tattoo while you are pregnant.  
So you open the chat window.

"I thought you need a souvenir, I'm on the ground again and now I'm sitting in the car home"

You look at the clock, in Japan its in the middle of the night. You sigh. You are sure that Osamu is already asleep . But then your phone vibrates.

Osamu:

Well, I was almost worried because it was quiet for so long. How are you?

Babygirl:

Aren't you sleeping yet? I feel weird. I'm happy to be home again, but you're missing. How are you?

Osamu:

I've already slept, left my sounds on so I was able to hear when you call. I miss you too.

Babygirl:  
Go back to sleep and write to me as soon as you are awake again.

Osamu:

<3

Oh a heart, you can't remember that Osamu sent you a heart once. 

Your father got you a flat and furnished it nicely.  
You will spend the next few weeks coping with your world.

It's Saturday afternoon and you're sitting in front of your lap top waiting for Osamu to call.  
As soon as the Skype window appears and you see his face, you are happy but you are also full of longing. You try to skype at least 3 times a week. But the big time difference makes it difficult.  
He was at the hairdresser and still looks tired as always. It's evening in Japan and he worked all day.  
After the usual small talk, you sigh deeply.  
"What's happening?" he asks concerned.  
You sit back and grimace. "I don't want to go there."  
He leans his chin on his hand and looks at the camera.  
"You mean the birth preparation course?"

The word alone annoys you. "Yees" you sight dramatically. "I don't want to hang out with all the pregnant women, in the past women didn't have a birth preparation course and were able to give birth to their children without some course"  
To be honest, what bothers you the most is that you have to go there alone. Your friends work or have university. You would prefer Osamu, but that is not an option.  
He clears his throat. "Listen, unfortunately I can't help you. I don't know anything about giving birth to children and neither do you. I really can't help you but I think it would be just fine if at least you have a clue."  
You roll your eyes.  
"I know you don't want to hear, I'm sorry I can't be there" he sighs.  
You exhale. "You don't have to be sorry, I know you're right. I just don't like getting to know any people who are telling me about their problems.“  
This is something you noticed pretty quickly. Every pregnant woman you meet has a different problem. It wouldn't be that bad if they didn't scare you. You have already visited your gynecologist twice because you have heard something from another pregnant woman that has worried you.   
In Japan you actually had no contact with people who could worry you. But in these situations, it is usually difficult to decide what to do now.   
If you are lucky, you can call Osamu and he will calm you down.  
But when he sleeps, you start googling and then you are almost convinced that there is something very bad with you and the child.

Osamu rubs his hair. "Do you want some good knowledge?" he asks and grins.  
"Definitely" you say as you twist your hair around your finger.  
"I will be with you for 12 weeks." he announces unexpectedly.  
You look up and notice how your heart becomes a little lighter.  
"What?" you ask in surprise.  
Osamu nods. "Yes, I have a 90 day visa and my parents give me money so I can stay with you and the child longer"  
You laugh and clap your hands. "That makes me very, very happy"  
You lie down on your bed and you talk. You two quickly realized that sometimes it is okay not to face each other all the time.  
Your favorite dissection topic is really the name for the baby right now. Nothing feels right for you, Osamu feels the same way.

"Only 8 weeks left" you hear Osamus voice.  
That's right, but there are still 8 weeks until you see Osamu again. You have been back home for 2 months.  
"Still two months," you sigh. "Sometimes I miss you so much.  
I'm always afraid to make a wrong decision. I would like to set up the nursery. But then I always feel bad because I want to do it together with you. "  
He makes some indefinable noises, then sighs.  
"I trust you there. You have a better taste anyway. I'm happy that I can send you money," explains Osamu.  
Yes, the fact that he sends you money that you spend also makes you feel guilty.  
"Babygirl, only 8 weeks and I can kiss you again. I miss that most. Kissing you ... and touching you" he adds after a short hesitation.  
You have to laugh. Your body has changed a lot and you are not sure how comfortable you feel when it touches you.  
You hum in agreement.  
"I miss your touch too, but I'm afraid that you don't like me anymore." you admit quietly.  
He laughs darkly.  
"You are the hottest for me. Just the thought of touching you makes me hard"  
Whether he just says that to make you feel better or whether it really is as he says.  
You laugh softly. "So? What would you do if you were here now?" you ask quietly.  
He breathes audibly. "I couldn't wait long, I need you naked in front of me."  
Your hands slide over your nipples until they're hard.

His heavy, concentrated breathing shows you that he is touching himself.  
"What color is your bra?"  
"See for yourself" you say and turn the camera to show your breasts. You hear him exhale. "I can't wait to touch your breasts again. Take off your bra for me"  
When you brush your bra off your arms you hear a "fuck" in your ears. You smile quietly.  
"I thought you were waiting for me today, Osamu-chan." you say amused.  
"Sorry, you're just so hot. Your breasts got bigger"  
You smile and lie down on your back. You pull your panties to your ankles and put your hand on your thigh.  
"I would love it if I could press my lips to yours now and I want you to lie down on me, I want to feel how hard you are," you tell in a low voice as you start rubbing your clit.  
"I want you to run up my thigh with your hand until you touch my pussy, like I'm doing it right now," you moan into your microphone. His breathing becomes louder. "Fuck I miss touching you like this.To feel how wet your pussy is on my fingers ...." he draws in his breath .. "and of course on my cock"  
The thought of him touching you makes you even wetter. You increase the pressure on your clit.  
"How do you want me?" You moan.  
"Close, from behind, I want to lie behind you. Touch you wherever you like. And damn I want to kiss you, because I miss your hot lips"  
"Yeah I want you right there, put my leg over your waist, notice how you push your cock into my wet longing pussy. Make my titts bounce with your lips on my neck"  
You can hear him rub his cock. His tip must be full of precum.  
"Show me your cock" you gasp. You're right, his tip glistens with liquid, he must be close and you know that he has had to delay his orgasm for quite a while.  
The sight makes you even wetter. You notice how your juice pushes up from your hole to your clitoris.  
"I'm close," he gasps.  
So you are, you are feeling the waves of orgasm rising. "Me too" you breathe.  
"Alright Babygirl, please come for me, I wanna hear you make yourself feel good"...he almost beg.  
So you do, you letting the waves go and moaning his name. He follows with hard waves of breathe.  
Osamu and you are catching breathe.  
„I miss you so much...“ you hear his voice silently.  
„ I know, I miss you too...“ You usually avoid the topic of "missing", even if it is actually always there.   
To change the mood you take your tablet in your hand and point it at your baby bump.  
"Look, he's grown," you say. The smile of Osamu is able to hear.  
"Yes he really is. Cant wait to see it in real life again. So what are you going to do today?“  
You cannot suppress your panting. "I will go to a birth preparation course, remember?"  
He laughs awkwardly. "You will do it great"  
With a smile you roll your eyes. "What are you going to do today?"  
You notice that he looks a little uncertain, he clears his throat "Well, I'm invited to a party, But I don't think I´ll go there"  
Your eyes look skeptically at the camera. "Why shouldn't you?"

"Because I prefer to be there for you, you have to go there today and you don't want to. I would feel bad if I drink alcohol and have fun."  
"Osamu thats bullshit..... So.... no it is not. It's totally nice of you, but I'm fine. Lately you have only been working or talking to me the last weeks. I think it would be good for you to go there and have fun . "  
He sighs and looks for your look "Are you sure?"  
You nod "Absolutely and when you're at home again you either call me or write dirty messages to me....  
Ahh and if you see Yuri, hug her from me " you add.

"Promise me that you will write as soon as you get back from the course or when there is something else."he asks.  
Osamu cares so much about you that it's almost uncomfortable.  
"Of course I do. Greetings to Atsumu and have fun"  
You say while you kiss your hand and wave to the camera.  
He does the same and you close the chat window.  
You sigh. To be honest, you'd rather go to a party as to that course. At least you get up and get ready for it.

As expected, you don't like him very much. These breathing exercises strain you and the happy couples make you jealous.  
Your only hope is that these exercises will help you, if the worst comes to the worst. After an hour you did it.  
To reward yourself you go to a cafe to eat so eat ice cream. While waiting for you it youre taking out your smartphone.

5 new messages. 

Before reading them, open the Osamu chat window. You send him a message that you survived the course, if just barely. Then you look who else wrote you.  
2 group chats, 1 one is your father who wants to know if you are able to visit him today.   
And two messages by Yuri.

1st .: Thanks for your greetings, I will get in touch with you tomorrow, then we can talk.

And another message after 30 minutes later.

2nd: Is everything ok with Osamu and you?

You frown and answer:

Yes, as okay as it can be at this distance.

As usual, the question worries you a little, but you devote yourself to your ice cream and decide to talk to her on the phone tomorrow. You look at the clock, it's almost midnight in Japan.

Your cell phone vibrates:

Osamu:

"OK"

You snort. You might get upset because he really wanted you to write to him, but decides to be happy about it. He has really worked a lot the last few weeks, so you could save a lot of money to buy the baby everything it needs. So he deserve to have fun tonight.

You finish your sundae and sit back and think about what to eat tonight. Your cell phone vibrates a second time.

Yuri:

sent you a photo...

Sorry i don't know what to do ..

On the photo you are spotting Osamu on a couch talking to a girl. When you look closer you realize that this is the girl from his birthday party.  
You are getting a little sick of it, but take a deep breath to base yourself. Who would have thought that the breathing exercises you just learned will pay off.  
You answer Yuri:

Nothing- it's okay. But thank you for taking care of me.

You allowed it to him, but it still pokes in your heart. Flirting is fun and you would like to do it to, but men don't like flirting with pregnant women.

You go home slowly and stroking your belly "He loves us and will not leave us. It would be wrong if I make an uprising now, we can do it"  
You decide to avoid social contacts today because you notice how aggressively you react to them.  
You don't want to be aggressive. You'd like to have a drink, dress yourself pretty and flirt with someone too.  
But since that is not possible with the drink, the other is also eliminated.  
As you sit down on your new rocking chair and look out of the window, you realize how jealous you are.  
You sigh and get up to your Epiano to prepare for the wedding where you are going to sing tomorrow. You are constantly looking at your cell phone. But still nothing.  
He won't sleep with her. You are sure now. He could write, that would calm you down. But it isnt the worst case, you are sure if the woman were his ex-girlfriend, you would have already called him.

You are already sleeping as your cell phone rings. It is Osamu who is calling you...  
You look at the clock. In Japan it has to be 5 am or 6 am , you don't expect anything good. You wearily take the phone and press it to your ear and mumble a greeting.  
"I love you" you hear a drunken Osamu say.  
"I know" you just say and wait.  
"I'm standing in the place by the river where we had our first date and watch the sun rise. It's just so perfect, only you are missing." he continues to tell.  
He sounds like he's about to cry.  
"Osamu what's up?" you ask a little overwhelmed.  
"The girl from my birthday was there today. We talked for a long time and yes, I flirted."  
You sigh. " I see..."  
"She wanted to sleep with me later. But my babygirl, you cannot imagine how easy it was for me to say" no ". I only want you. …  
And I will ask you to marry me until you do it because it is for me the only possibility, there is nothing else I want more than living with you until we die.“ His voice sounds deep as he laugh.  
"I love you too," you whisper. Osamu laughs even louder. "I know, isn't that crazy? I know that I am loved by you, so that I don't care about anything else. The thought that you touch yourself for me means more to me than to go to the Love Hotel with this girl tonight."  
That is one of these moments when you feel absolutely loved. The sight of you sounds almost crying.  
"Samu we can do it! Soon you will be with me again, we will have this baby and then we will regulate our life." you whispering.  
"I can't wait until it starts - our life" Osamu almost shout these lines.


	22. Chapter 22

The many people which are running around in hurry make you nervous. The hustle and bustle at the airport always takes you a lot. It is mid January and you are at the largest airport in your country. The fact that you can no longer move the way you want doesn't make things any better.  
You nervously drum on your baby bump and wait. You are wearing a black dress under your red coat, which unfortunately you can no longer close. You hope he likes it, your body has changed a lot since you last saw each other the last time.  
As you spy Osamu in the crowd you can no longer suppress a cry of joy as far as possible you fly towards him.  
You hug him and soak up his familiar smell. You notice his hand stroking your hair over and over again. You are probably one of the happiest women in the world right now.  
You look at him and whisper a "Hey" thats all because his lips are already on yours. It seems like you both kiss forever, at some point you break apart and realize that you are pretty much the only one who is still there.  
He laughs embarrassed. "I'm totally overwhelmed." he admits and presses you against his chest again.  
"Maybe we should go to the hotel, first... you know to come down" you say.

In advance, it was a huge drama of how Osamu came to you from the airport. You didn't want to drive the car alone, which he understood. But he was also against you doing two train journeys in one day.   
In the End you told him that one of your best friends lives in the city, who is alsp having a party this weekend. Osamu was also against sleeping there. So you spend the night in the hotel and agree that you go to the party for a short evening.  
It was also a tough fight, which you only won with the arguments that you are not sick and that you patiently got to know all of his friends and that it is a pleasant coincidence that Osamu ends up in the city where your friend is going to university . So he gave up and the hotel was the compromise.

You take his hand and pull him through the airport. "Are you hungry? Would you like to eat something first?" You babble cheerfully and get little response. You turn to him and beam at him happily. "What's happening?"  
He grins wearily. "You are so beautiful. It's just a lot right now. I'm tired and so excited. And totally overwhelmed because you are there and so wonderful and so beautiful. I knew that but I seem to have forgotten it," he laughs.  
You laugh and push his bangs out of your face. "I am also happy that you are there, I think you first need some sleep in the hotel and then you feel better again"

It's kind of a wrong world. If you are traveling with Osamu, he usually conducts the calls. You notice how the new surroundings strain him, so you hurry to come to the hotel room with him. He falls tiredly on the bed. You sit on a chair and you would never admit it to him, but it was a little tiring for you too. You take off your shoes and take off your coat.  
"Wow" you hear Osamu with a whistle.  
You look at him questioningly. "I didn't see how big your belly is with the coat"  
It's kind of uncomfortable for you. You already have complexes that he doesn't like you anymore, after his "You are beautiful" monologue you were actually more relaxed. But that unsettles you again, you avoid his eyes and look for a cardigan in your suitcase and put it on.  
Then you go to the bed and lie next to him. He kisses your forehead and you put your head on his shoulder.  
"I'm so glad you're here," you whisper.  
"Me too," he says, but then he almost fell asleep. You stay a little longer before you get up and cover him with a blanket. He is so pretty and you are so in love. You roll your eyes about your thoughts and smile. You take your book and sit in a chair and read. It's getting dark outside when you notice that Osamu is slowly waking up again.  
"Feeling better?" you ask and while he stretches his muscles. "If you come over to me, then yes!?" he smiles wearily at you.  
You do what he asked for and lie down next to him again. In the last three months you have talked a lot and your relationship was based on words, that you are now side by side again seems a bit overwhelming for you both.  
"Is it okay for you when I touch you?“ he asks after a while.  
"I hope you do ..." shyly while you stroke his stomach. "..... I'm just not sure if you want that ... I know that I've changed a lot," you stutter.  
Then you notice how the baby moves, something what Osamu never experienced before. You grab his hand frantically and put it where the movement comes from. "Do you feel that?" He smiles and sits up to put his second hand on your stomach too. "Yes," he says, shaking his head. "This is so incredible..." He´s sitting there like that for a while.  
Then he catches your gaze again and leans down to you, takes your face in his hands and kisses you. Bravely you pull your clothes over your baby bump.   
Osamu slowly shoves his tongue between your lips and his kisses become more demanding. You stop it and point to your bare belly. "Sometimes you can even see the movements" you are telling him und his attention goes back to the baby.  
He caresses your stomach and you notice how he presses his lips on it while he mumbles something in Japanese.  
Then he presses his ear onto your stomach, this sight makes you laugh. He looks at you with mock indignation. "Don't laugh I'm communicating with my son" you laugh and draw Osamu to you. "I think communication with me is even more successful at the moment." Now it is you who puts your tongue in Osamu's mouth. You waited so long until you are able to do it again.

"Is there anything we can't do anymore?" he asks with his usual concern in his voice. You really need to think carefully.  
"My gynecologist said nothing, I just heard that sex drives labor pains.....“   
You don't like the knowledge at all...you sight loud „ Maybe we should wait until home then?" you ask him more than explain the truth. He puts his head back on your stomach and looks at you.  
"We have waited so long now that one night longer is not so bad," he says and lies down next to you again. You make a pout and mumble "But I wanted to get over this".  
He laughs out loud and you put your hand on your mouth in suprise you didnt want to tell it out loud.  
"To get over it?" he still laughs. "Whats wrong with you?"  
You grin embarrassed and shake your head. "I'm sorry. I'm just so insecure"  
"About what? God Girl, you're the hottest for me. I think we're over the point where any physical attributes can change that." Laughing, he puts his arm around you and kisses you. "As I told you before, you are so beautiful to me and you know Im a bad liar as soon as it comes to you"  
You kiss him and lie down in his arm. "I am very glad that you are here. If we are honest we have no time anyway." He looks at the watch and nods. "Yes I have to meet your friends"  
You hit his shoulder. "You are allowed to ..." you tell him laughing.  
As soon as you have finished your dressing and you draw the last lines of your make-up, he stands behind you and puts a chain around your neck.  
"What's this?" you ask.  
"A chain with a medallion, I had our names engraved and the date since we were together ... and I expect you to accept it without comment," he explains and kisses your cheek. You look at the medallion, it is exactly your taste.  
"It's beautiful, Osamu. Thank you," smile emotional touched at him. You are watching him uncertainly."But tell me, what day have we been together?" you almost whispering.  
You almost ask a little ashamed. He laughs darkly and hugs you from behind.  
"You're right, we never talked about it. I just took the day when I knew I didn't want to be without you anymore ..." You raised your eyebrows questioningly.  
"Well the day we met, although I thought it the first time I left your apartment the morning after. But I actually knew pretty early on that you were a good match for me." You look at him and grin. "Let's go"

As you know your girls, they are extremely worried about you, that there is no smoking near you, that you can sit whenever you want and that nobody annoys you.  
They love Osamu, and he seems to like them too.  
They talk to him and try to involve him everywhere. You like that. Your best friend drops down on the couch next to you. "you're totally in love aren't you?" she asks carefully.  
You blush and grin in Osamus direction who is bussy telling your other friend what exactly sake is. "Yes, I'm really happy."  
She kisses your cheek. "I have never seen you so happy and satisfied ..." Then she presses her lips to your stomach and communicates with the baby. You laugh when Osamu looks at you questioningly but you can only shrug your shoulders and laugh.

You notice how you are getting tired. When you make yourself a coffee in the kitchen, your visibly drunk boyfriend joins you.  
"Your two girls are just like you. They even talk like you," he laughs.  
You grin and put some food in your mouth. "I once had a birthday party and one of them was standing around a corner and talking. My mother came out and thought it was me who was talking ... It is so fascinating and funny how the three of us develop such a own dynamic .. But we can also be very exhausting, so it is good that we live so far apart ... "You laugh and then become thoughtful. "Without these two, I would never have survived the time when my mother died so well. They are my family of choice. I am glad that you seem to like them, because we would have a problem if not ... I am glad that you here“ you say and you kiss him.  
You hear a clearing of the throat behind you. "Sorry, we would like to drink some schots with him",smiling you hand Osamu back to your friends and join them.  
Your baby is also celebrating a party in your belly. "Everything okay?" Osamu asks with his concern view on his face.  
"The baby confuses my bladder with an armchair" you sigh and laugh. "Please tell me if you want to go to the hotel ..."he whispers.  
"No, I'm really happy and satisfied right now." you announce and make your way to the toilet.

After two more hours, Osamu has to lean against you as you both make your way to the hotel. He laughs and talks all the time.   
He kisses you passionately in the elevator and promises that you will have a lot of sex tomorrow. His hands also move very demanding to your butt. When you finally have Osamu in the room after looking out the hall window again, he drops onto the bed.

"Eating you out! I could eat you out now" he almost shout through the room.  
You laugh. Bend down and kiss him, he tastes of alcohol. "I love you" you whisper. Your expectation will not be disappointed. He falls asleep in a matter of seconds; you take off his shoes and pants and start removing your make-up.  
When you're drunk yourself, situations like this are funnier.

The result of your boyfriend's party is that he has a huge hang over as he meet your father, your brother, your grandmother, your grandfather, your cousins and your aunts and uncles. This was not planned, but your father thought something of a warm welcome.  
So Osamu got alcohol and good food again. Your family tries to integrate him as well as the language difficulties allow. Osamu relaxes more and more and seems to get along with everyone and espeacially with your brother.

Its almost the middle of the night as you are finally able to show him your apartment.  
"I'm sorry that you somehow have to get to know my whole life in two days" you whisper.  
He hugs you.  
"They are all very nice, but I didn't expect anything else. And I have the explanation why you are able to drink so much alcohol" he laughs and kisses your cheek.  
You slap his shoulder without comment.  
"Okay I'll show you something now and I hope you like it," you say excitedly. His hands clasp your waist and he takes a step towards you. In a dark voice he whispers to you "I already know that I like everything about you" and raises the side of your body with his hands. You grin at him and kiss his lips lightly, than shaking your head.  
"No I don't mean that, come follow me ..."  
You open the door and you stand in the sleeping room for your Baby. You decided to paint the walls turquoise and buy white children's furniture.  
Furthermore, you chose foxes as motifs. You look at him uncertainly "Do you like it?" you ask uncertainly.  
"Yeah, you did it so well for him, what do you think of writing the name over the bed somehow," he suggests.  
You nod "Yes, I think that's good, only we have no name"  
He looks at you with a straight face. "No we won't name him after my and your father," you add. He laughs and kisses you, his tounge is searching for yours. You know he wants more.

"Sorry, where was your bedroom?" he asks while touching your butt again.  
You grin against his lips. "Eager?"  
"I've waited so long and I'm going to make you so happy now, so show me your bedroom" he takes your face in his large hands and pushes you out of the room. You guide him over the floor straight to your bedroom and face him again.   
You pull him on the bed and your kisses are full of passion.  
With your hand you look for the switch of your dessert lamp. Osamu raises your arm and grabs your hand and closes his fingers with yours. "Do you want us to turn off the lights?" he asks in a calm voice. His dark eyes look for yours and he kisses you again before looking you in the eye again. You can't stand his eyes, he takes your chin in his hand and strokes your hair.  
"Listen, we do everything here to make you feel comfortable. Please just talk to me, I find you hot as always, so I might be missing something which is uncomfortable for you."he speaks softly and turns off the light.  
" I love you, "you whisper and press your lips demanding on his. His hands move under your shirt over your baby bump up to your breasts. The touch makes you groan. He carefully pulls yours shirt over your head and kisses every centimeter of your exposed skin.  
In greed, you pull off your pants and underpants, when Osamu realizes what you're doing, he helps you. You lie naked in front of him and he raises your leg with his hand. "You are so beautiful," he whispers. You realize that he wants to relax with his words, so you lean into his touch and notice his lips next to your face. When he runs his fingers over your lapia, you gasp.   
His lips press against your cheek as he searches for your clitoris with his fingertips. He starts rubbing with circular movements, you are still incredibly sensitive. He hasn't done much and you can already tell how wet you are. He kneels between your legs, runs two fingers through your slit. This touch alone makes you groan. He pushes his fingers into you and massages your clit with your thumb. "Fuck, it feels so much better than when I do it," you moan.  
He laughs darkly, „thats why you need me.“ 

He gets a loud moan from you in response. He pushes his fingers deeper into you and touches all the points that make you beg. "Fuck, Osamu, fuck me ... please fuck me now."  
He grins and comes up to kiss you. "I will," he says, "but I will let you come first."  
With these words, his movements in you become faster. The feeling of the coming orgasm makes your legs twitch. You notice how you try to tighten all muscle in your body.  
As the orgasm grips you and you need to scream out the waves.  
You reach for his neck and pull him down to kiss him "Fuck Osamu ... I missed you so much" you still gasp for breath. "I hope not only because of that ..." he whispers between the kisses. You are stroking his cheek and shake your head lightly and whispering.  
"No, you are the man I love more than anyone else before. You are the part in my heart that has been missing for so long. I have no idea, how everything should work in the future, but I have so much trust in us now, that I'm almost certain we'll end up together. When we get old I want to sit on a terrace with you and watch the sunset. You're my best friend, somekind like my soulmate. And when you're not here a part is missing in me .... "you do not say these things consciously, that this is a declaration of love, you only become aware when Osamu wipes his eyes.  
You take his face in your hands and kiss him.  
"You should marry me ..." he whispers. You grin and pull him down to you again.  
".... you know I want a big party and this baby will make us poor ... so you shouldnt think so far and fuck me first" you grin and pull on his belt. He laughs „God, you are makeing me crazy, I think Im going to ask it a serveal times again....“   
You shurg your shoulders and kiss him.  
He opens the zipper of his pants and takes off the rest of his clothes.  
"I love you," he whispers. "We are so disgusting as couple ... we should do dirty things now "you whisper back. He laughs darkly but doesn't seem to really know what to do now. The last time you had sex, the baby wasn't even half as big as now.   
The things you like would not really work now and that seems to unsettle him. You think he will never stop worrying about how he can make you as happy as possible . You sit up and kiss him. "Stop thinking ... lie behind me and hug me."  
And he does.  
He presses you against his chest and his cock inside you. As he enters your dripping pussy a deep groan escapes both of you. As he starts to move inside you he is looking for your hand. His kisses cover your neck and his other hand also clasp yours. Your pussy is wet, sensitive and hungry. You need more. You don't need tenderness, you need a fuck.

You get on your knees and he follows you.  
"Are you sure?" he asks and you can hear the excitement in his voice.  
You turn to him and lean your forehead against his "I want you to fuck me so that I need to scream. I have a need for it. So just do it, I'll tell you if something is wrong"  
You lean forward and notice how he straightens up at your entrance. He is able to go in deep and found a good rhythm that quickly made both of you gasp. You notice how his fingertips dig into your hips, his lips cover your spine with kisses up to your neck...  
"Don't stop, move harder," you moan in a dark voice. The grip around your waist becomes stronger and it pushes you more specifically, more demanding, harder ... exactly what you want and need now. You two cry out your lust and your second orgasm is even harder than the first and you have trouble keeping on all fours.   
He follows you shortly afterwards. Moaning loudly, he injects his sperm into you. You notice his hot breath on your back as he comes down from his height.  
"Fuck ...." he moans and you notice his sweaty forehead on your shoulder.   
You look for his hand and he grabs it. You lean against his torso and pull his hands on your baby bump. You notice how his sperm runs out of you and lean your head on his shoulder. He wipes your belly like it's his greatest gift.  
Suddenly the baby kicks, he pulls his hand away, startled.  
You laugh out loud and turn to him. "You´ll get used to it,."  
You remember the first time you felt it and called Osamu at work to tell him about it in a mix of fear and excitement. In the end you both googled whether this is normal.

He drops onto the bed. You breathe happily.   
"Are you actually scared?" he suddenly asks.  
You pull the blanket over you and turn on the light. You pull your shirt over your head and look at it questioningly. "Scared of?"  
"Of the birth?" he asks.  
You sigh and think. "I have no idea. I don't know what it's like. I'm afraid that someone cheers me on like a cheerleader. You know I'm not that dramatic and not good in showing my emotions and feelings and I'm afraid that people expect it from me."  
He puts his arm around you and sighs. "Do you really think that someone expects something from you? ... I think you will find your own way and I will help you with it ... I thought you were more afraid of pain or something ..." he says and puts a kiss on your forehead.

Over the next few weeks, you get are able to relax more and more when it comes to Osamu seeing you naked. He loves you and you don't have to prove anything to him, you understand that.   
Even if it took time, you were never used to it. You were always trying to please the men you wanted. That's why it is difficult for you to see that Osamu wants to please you as well.

But his concern was right, you really underestimated the pain of childbirth a little.  
But it was Osamu who was there with you, he clams you down and guides you. You were never alone for the first time in your life. You didn't feel like you had to be stronger than everyone else. Because he was there.  
You will never forget the picture of him standing in front of you, holding your son in your arms, looking at him with a smile. Unfortunately your hormones take care of it that you cant stop crying about everything for days. 

Ironically, you two chose the name Samuel for him. You both like the name and it works out with your surename. As the second name you take the name of Osamus father.

Unfortunately, the good child did not inherit the inner peace of his father. The following weeks are without sleep and a lot of baby yelling. It is an absolute test of patience for your relationship. But you work wonderfully as a team.

Time skip

5 years later

It's Christmas Eve in Japan.  
Since you are nice people and you want to satisfy the curiosity of all people, you have invited your families to your house to unite all the traditions that are so common at Christmas.

You stand in Samuel's room and have him in your arms and you two sing your good night song together. He looks like his father, only with your curls. Just beautiful. You never thought you could love someone like that.  
After all the Christmas excitement, it takes a while for him to fall asleep.  
You turn on the music box, one last time. Its the music box Osamu gaves you on your first birthday together in Tokio.

You are humming the melody in front of your child's bed. You notice Osamu's arms around your waist. His chin is on your shoulder and he is kissing your cheek. "We should make an other one," he says quietly.  
Osamu has his own Onigiri shop and you are teaching music in school. You have arrived on a point of life where another child would work. You're looking for the right words when osamu kneels.  
He grabs your hands, the tone in which he says your name is serious and strict.  
You have to smile involuntarily.  
"It was 6 years ago when you entered my life and totally turned it upside down. You redefined the word" love "for me. You made sure that we have this wonderful son, and I cant imagine a better mother for him. I've asked you so often if you marry me, but I think I never did seriouse enough. So I ask you again. Please marry me because it would be the greatest for me if I could say "This is my wife", with whom I will sit on the terrace as an 80 years old couple and play card games. And Im the happiest men alive. You are my best friend and my soulmate...even Im busy and work a lot, as soon as Im home with you... Im happy....“  
You look at him and tears run down your cheeks, he hasn't said such things to you for a long time.  
"..... What I want to say in the end .. I will always love you and please be my wife forever .."  
You can't do more than nod. You kneeling in front of him and kiss to the music from the music box which plays „Your song“.   
And finally you are home.

The End


End file.
